When You Want a Baby and Your Partner Doesn’t

when-you-want-a-baby-and-your-partner-doesntDeciding to have a baby is a big decision; but what happens when you’re ready for a new addition to the family and your partner isn’t? Read on for tips on how to cope with this seemingly irresolvable relationship problem.

  • Communicate.
    If you’re reading this article, then the communication in your relationship is probably decent enough to have established the facts of the situation—that is, you’ve got the baby bug, while your partner is apparently immune. That doesn’t mean there’s not room for improvement when it comes to your communication skills, however. Ask yourself whether or not you’ve truly expressed your feelings to your partner in a clear and comprehensive way. Does he know why you want a baby? Does she realize the extent of your desire? You should also stop and reflect on whether or not you really understand your partner’s feelings. Do you know why your significant other wants to wait, and for how long? These are all issues that you need to get out in the open completely, before you can even begin to decide where to go from here.
  • Make a Choice.
    If you’ve both expressed your feelings to each other and still can’t come to a resolution regarding the potential baby-to-be, then it may be time to make a choice between your own feelings and the good of the relationship. If you’re not married or seriously committed to a long-term relationship with this person, then you may want to consider whether or not the relationship is worth giving up your dreams of being a parent. On the other hand, if you are in a committed relationship, then you may have to put your own feelings aside, at least for a while. You can’t force another person into becoming a parent; and even if you could, the results would certainly backfire sooner or later.
  • Consider Other Options
    If you are in fact in a committed relationship, one that you value and want to preserve, with someone who isn’t ready for a kid, then you may have to consider your other options—options that don’t include having children at the moment. After all, having kids isn’t everything (though you may certainly feel like it is). Researchers at the University of Michigan have found that having children doesn’t impact a woman’s happiness long-term; but having a strong personal relationship, such as a husband or committed partner, definitely does. If you decide to back-drawer your maternal or paternal yearnings for a while, then consider other things you could do in the meantime that you may find fulfilling, such as babysitting, volunteering at a children’s hospital, or teaching Sunday School, for instance.

Disagreements with the important people in your life are always stressful; but when you disagree about something so significant and potentially life-changing as having a child, the debate can be particularly taxing on your emotions. The best thing to do is to take a deep breath, hear each other out, and then come to an agreement that works for both of you—even if it means agreeing to disagree, at least for now.

ADVERTISEMENT

What do you think?

When You Want a Baby and Your Partner Doesn’t

Tell us what you think!

6 comments

  1. Jacey says:

    I think this is why it’s important to communicate about your goals once you start taking the relationship seriously. Knowing his plans for childeren earlier rather than later can help you both know if 1. it’s the right relationship and 2. there is at least a good comprimise in there.

  2. I’m glad that both my husband and I wanted a baby.

  3. KEIYONDA says:

    WE HAD A TALK AND AN UNDERSTANDING.

  4. Jesse says:

    Its a tough call to make, my bet is that the other person will come around. If not then it time to move on.

  5. Julie says:

    No one can force anyone to want a child, that is a huge step to take. Counseling might be for the best in a situation like that.

  6. Jessica says:

    I would always ask and he would just say the decision was up to me and now I think he’s more excited than I am

Advertisement
[x]
×

EverydayFamily.com Week-by-Week Newsletter

Receive weekly updates on your pregnancy or new baby’s development as well as Free Stuff, Special Offers, Product Samples, Coupons, Checklists and Tools you can use today, and more from EverydayFamily! Plus all new members are entered to win FREE diapers for a year! Receive weekly updates on your pregnancy or new baby’s development as well as Free Stuff, Special Offers, Product Samples, Coupons, Checklists and Tools you can use today, and more from EverydayFamily! Plus all new members are entered to win FREE diapers for a year!

Due Date or Baby's Birth Date


By clicking the "Join Now" button you are agreeing to the terms of use and privacy policy.

Send this to a friend