What to Do When You’re Single and Pregnant

Expecting a baby is, usually, a very exciting time for a family; but, if you’re single and pregnant, it can be the polar opposite of exciting (take it from a girl who knows what you’re going through). Feeling completely alone, and being confused, scared, and desperate for help, are going to be a part of your daily life for a while.

Evaluate your life, and realize how powerful you are. You’re responsible, not only for taking care of yourself, but for this new life too. Ask yourself questions that will help you assess your situation and make important decisions. Do I want to be a parent now – should I keep my baby? Does the father want to be a parent? Am I in a good relationship, or a bad relationship? Do I have a stable job? Should I place the baby for adoption? Can I provide this child with a good life? Will I be able to afford this? Do I have a support system? Am I living a healthy life? Think about these objectively; if you need to make changes, don’t be afraid to make them.

What do you think?

What to Do When You’re Single and Pregnant

Tell us what you think!

90 comments

  1. Profile photo of williams williams says:

    My name is Williams Lender i am very happy for the wonderful work dr Aziza has done for me i got married to my lovely husband last year and we have a lovely son. things was going well with us and we are living happily. until one day my husband started behaving in a strange manner i could not understand, i was very confused with the way he treat me and my son. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was sad and also frustrated i did not know what to do,i was sick for more than a week because of the divorce. i love him so much he his everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told one of my child hood friend and she told me to contact a spell caster that she has listen to one woman who testify about dr Aziza and she has been hearing about him that i should try him i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing but i just say i should try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Aziza for the return of my husband to me, he told me that my husband have been taken by another woman. that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want to divorce me. then he told me that he has to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and my son, he casters ted the spell and after a day my husband came back home and started apologizing he said that he love me so much that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that Dr Aziza casters ted on him that make him come back to me,right now am so happy again. thank you Dr Aziza for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. this is to every one who is facing divorces or heart break by your lover i want you to contact him now because he can do it for you his powers is great and don’t have any side effect in the future contact him through his mail;drazizaspelltemple85@gmail.com contact him now and your problems will be solve for ever.once again thanks to dr AZIZA.

  2. Profile photo of Tye Tye says:

    None of us are alone! I’m 33 this is my third pregnancy. Each of my children have different fathers. I never wanted to have another child. I just wanted someone good for my children and I. After aborting a baby months before getting pregnant for a second time, I decided that I had to keep it. And as the story goes it was now all my fault and the father wants not much to do with us. AND Yes, it hurts and I cried and still want to cry.. ONLY I TELL YOU IT HAS TO BE GOD WHO COMFORTS ME. THE TEARS DONT EVEN FORM ANYMORE THOUGH I FEEL THE WATER DRYING BACK UP 9I guess way of telling me there’s no reason to cry anymore. To get over it). We may have chose the wrong path and put ourselves in unfortunate situations. Only we can’t turn back now, in this time and and all times you have to draw close to GOD. REEPNT PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!!! Read the bible AND HAVE FAITH THAT HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH. These last few months I’ve been up and down with my emotions I stated to attend church when I had the abortion. And thank GOD cause he knew I was going to need him. I can promise if you lean on GOD and find a good church with people who aren’t going to look down on your but instead pray for you and teach his word, you will be find ask GOD to lead you. It’s funny I came on here to loaf because my tears don’t fall but it hurts. And reading the comments….this is what came out. I pray for all the single mother who comment on this site. I pray that you trust in GOD. I pray that you born health children and dedicated them to GOD. I pray that we learned on worth and no longer give into the wrong type of relationships. I pray that the soul ties from the men we sleep with are broker, I pray that we become secure in ourselves again, I pray that the ememy don’t rule our thoughts with suicide and thoughts of abortion. Father GOd please lead us and let miracles happened and all the women lives on this page. Father GOD please show your Glory in Jesus Name mad cover us and our families and Jesus name. Believe wholeheartedly ;)X Ladies

  3. Profile photo of cellinaanny cellinaanny says:

    I’m 26 month pregnant and my boyfriend left me when I was 10 weeks, is not easy I cry almost every day, Few weeks ago I went to his place with my family so his parents will know about this pregnancy and he can also pay the damage

  4. Profile photo of lc lc says:

    I’m 26 month pregnant and my boyfriend left me when I was 10 weeks, is not easy I cry almost every day, Few weeks ago I went to his place with my family so his parents will know about this pregnancy and he can also pay the damage, when we get there his parents told us that my child is his number 5th child, which he only told me about 3 child and the 4th one is one month old, I was very shocked and he knew that we we’re coming then he decided to run away and switch off his phone, and i always feel sick now I’m stressing too much because I’m jobless, how m I gonna support my child, while he promised me heaven and earth in the beginning.

  5. Profile photo of Kerriann Kerriann says:

    I feel so alone right now , I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant the father of my son started being really mean To me from the day I told him I was pregnant. He told me I was poison to his life and he doesn’t want any part of this baby . He hasn’t called or made any attempt to find out how I was doing , I found out yesterday that he has a new gf ,and I’m not going to lie it hurts like hell. I act like is doesn’t bother me but it does . I had a very hard time sleeping last night . I made the decision to bring this innocent baby into this world and I know I can do it on my own . But it just hurts like hell .i feel used and alone I’m tired of crying and feeling down ,sometimes I get angry at myself for being stuck in a situation like this .

    • Profile photo of Noemi Noemi says:

      Hello, I am so sorry for what you are goung through… It is horrible that thus man is miss treating you in that way.. But please remember that had nothing to do with you!! You are a beautiful human being, that with your baby you ste going ti be full of new possibilities…. This man is the real poison that he wants to inject in your life… Please do not ket him!!! He us the one with the problem, he us the one with the darkness.
      Your baby is your light and us going ti give you the streght you need to never never give up!!!

  6. Profile photo of heather heather says:

    I really need help i’m almost 5 months pregnant and all me and my partner do is argue he calls me horrible names and acts all smug and laughs at me when i’m breaking my heart crying and i cry everyday i really can’t seem to enjoy this pregnancy even though i can’t wait to be a mum i love this baby so much already. i have no family as sadly parents passed away and i was an only child and no friends since moving away i can’t have facebook as my partner does’nt allow it he checks my phone all the time but always has his phone on him and on silent i have no life and it’s really making being pregnant difficult at out first scan we found out that baby has extra fluid on back of the neck ive been offered a number of tests to see what could be the cause of the fluid but this involves gong in to the womb which could cause me to loose the baby so i opted out of that so now i’ve got the worry of not knowing if baby will even survive the birth and while all this is going on all i want to do is sit in a dark room and cry recently me and my partner have separated he’s got his family and now i’m facing doing this alone as he says he dont care i can have baby then the the next minute he says he’s going to take baby off me i feel so alone and scared apart from running away i don’t know what to do please any kind words of advice

    • Profile photo of cellinaanny cellinaanny says:

      I’m 26 month pregnant and my boyfriend left me when I was 10 weeks, is not easy I cry almost every day, Few weeks ago I went to his place with my family so his parents will know about this pregnancy and he can also pay the damage

  7. Profile photo of Eliza Eliza says:

    I’m in an interesting predicament regarding my recently discovered pregnancy. I was casually dating the father when I found out. I wasn’t terribly interested in pursuing the relationship to begin with, but realizing I am carrying his child obviously changes the way I need to look at the future.

    The good news (and there’s lots): He’s ultra supportive, stable, caring, sensitive, and wants to be a part of the baby’s life. In most ways, and I’m being very stereotypical based on the number of people who post discussions about fathers who flee, I’m so fortunate.

    The bad news: I wasn’t interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him. Now, I am feeling pressure to engage in a relationship. He really wants to be close to me but I’m having a hard time reciprocating this feeling.

    I’m 33, he’s 41. We are both in stable financial situations. The only thing missing is being “in love” with each other. I want to give him a chance as a partner, but I’m having a really difficult time doing this. Does anyone feel like this??? I feel like I’m alone – and that people will react by saying, ” at least this guy wants to be a dad”. To be a father is one thing, to be right for me is another. I’d love some feedback! Please consider being sensitive and positive, being pregnant is enough stress. I’m here for support – not criticism.

    • Profile photo of Megan KlayEditor Megan Klay says:

      Hi Eliza – I would let him know you want to take things slow and develop a very strong friendship for now. Knowing that no matter what happen romantically, you’ll have to be in each other’s lives as parents, I’d hope he would be understanding that you’re weary to rush into something more romantically. Maybe you’ll find that over time you develop a deeper romantic connection with him, and maybe you won’t, but at least you’ve worked to develop a solid relationship of friendship. Best wishes!

  8. Profile photo of Aaliyah Aaliyah says:

    I know the last post was in November, but i really need to just say how im feeling. when i found out i was pregnant i was over the moon, when the father found out, not so much so. i have been going through the past 4 months alone and i forsee myself going through the next 5 alone as well. so i am scared, this is my 1st pregancy and i just want everything to go wel.. i think he fell out of love with me a long time ago and found someone else, although i dont know why he dosent say it.

  9. Sid,Your Thoughts Are The Greatest Words I Have Heard,Because I’m Having My Child Alone Also Without A Father Figure Also,But You Can Rest Assure I’m Sure I Will Have Nothing But The Most Unconditional Love A Child Could Expect,I’m Kinda Glad My Childs Father Isn’t In The Picture Because Now Like Before I Won’t Have The Problem Of Some Know Good Man Trying Too Say How I Should Rise My Child,So Hang In There Sid,I Wish You And Your New Ball Of Life Great Wonders,And I Miss Wynel Wiggins Shall Rise My New Little Life As Though He Or Them Meaning Twins Are What I Breathe For.

  10. Become Stronger And Be Prepared To Handle Whatever Your New Child Brings Your Way,Because Newborns Are A Handful And I’m So Happy That I’m Expecting New Life Which Is Going To Start A New Chapter.So I Miss Wynel Wiggins Is Great With The Ideal Of New Life.

  11. Profile photo of Crystella Crystella says:

    I’m 29 and 14 weeks pregnant. With tears in my eyes as I wrote this I am glad to know that I’m not alone. When my son was 2 months old, his father left me and him for someone else. And history has seem to repeat itself with this pregnancy. Although the father of my unborn child didn’t leave me for someone else, he has left none the less. I’m feeling extremely scared, alone, and fearful of the future. I have done it alone, and I know I can do it again but it doesn’t ease my feeling of sadness and fear. I’m trying very hard to enjoy this blessing and move forward for both of my children. As I read most of the comments it makes me very sad that so many young women are in my situation and that men find it acceptable to walk away from responsibilities that they help create. But what I think makes me more as is that my unborn child will have to grow up with a part time father. As much as I shouldn’t care I also feel bad that he is going to miss out on all the firsts of this baby, that can never be replayed or experienced again.

  12. Profile photo of Sid Sid says:

    I am 24. and hitting 11 weeks pregnant. I was homless and jobless and during my hunt for shelter one night I had an encounter with a man who couldn’t seem to listen when I told him to put on a condom. 5 weeks later in the ER thinking I was sick I was told I was pregnant.
    I contacted this man and he called me names and refused to believe it could be his.
    I am with my family now, and working as a server with school on the way.

    I’m scared. Hell yeah I’m scared. and there are times when I see families sitting to dinner at my work that I get filled with feelings of envy and sadness. But more than anything I am determined to become the mom this miracle inside of me deserves. I am so in love with my baby that instead of being depressed over my fears I want to confront them and resolve any issues .

    My baby and I don’t need some man to care for us or make us a family. I’ll have him/her and s/he will have me. 🙂

  13. Profile photo of Chinyere Chinyere says:

    I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my first child, only 22 in college and have my whole life ahead of me. my story is when i found out i was pregnant i told my boyfriend and all he did was all me every name in the book say that it wasn’t his and then told me to have an abortion and that if i don’t get an abortion that him and i are over so i choose my child over him not only that i told my family about my pregnancy and their first words out of their mouths were to schedule an appointment for an abortion and that i have less than a month to move out. i am homeless , pregnant , alone , don’t even have a job even though i have been applying to over 300 plus jobs but keep getting denied for them why i don’t know , on top of that i have no money way behind on bills have no place to go and i really don’t know what to do. i thought about adoption agencies but after going to the hospital and seeing my baby and hearing his or her heart beat i broke down and started crying because i am lost of words and i really need alot of help. my ex and i used protection and i was on the pill but it broke and the pill didn’t work so now i don’t know what i should do ? can someone please give me an advice that could really help me because i could use it or a job or some kind of income right now just so i can get a place and get things for my baby before it gets here. i just want to prove to myself that i can do this and this baby is all i have since everyone is just saying kill my baby when they aren’t in my shoe or have never been. someone please help me i could really use it

    • Profile photo of Megan KlayEditor Megan Klay says:

      Hi there – I’m so sorry to hear of your difficult situation. My best advice would be to talk to your local welfare agency, WIC office, Department of Health; all the institutions put in place to help people get back on their feet. They can also help you to get medical treatment throughout your pregnancy and will probably be able to assist with housing as well, or at least direct you to someone who could. Best wishes to you and your baby!

  14. Profile photo of Kayla Kayla says:

    I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my second child. I was also a teen mom (14 years old to be exact when i had my daughter). I was lucky to have help from my family. I was left two weeks before I had her. Down the road her father and I tried to work things out again but he ended up cheating on me again so I broke the engagement. But that’s not what this is about. I’m torn and hurting because my son’s father I think finally gave up on me and i don’t know how to deal with it. I have tried to make things right because I screwed up in the beginning of our relationship. I even go to my own therapist and just made a appointment for a couples therapist who i go to see by myself on monday. I’m hoping that he will start to go to one with me. I feel honestly lost… this feels and hurts just like when I was younger but even worse because I know I am actually in love with my sons father. He is telling me not to show up at his house and is now ignoring me.. Meanwhile he kisses me and tells me he loves me back when we see each other. I honestly don’t know what to do or think. I’m stressing out while still working my ass off at a warehouse.. I don’t want to tell my family that we broke up because i don’t want them to dislike him. I feel like I can’t sleep and i’m just hurting so much. I don’t know what to do.

    • Profile photo of Megan KlayEditor Megan Klay says:

      Hi Kayla – I’d recommend you talk to your family and/or friends for support, so you don’t have to stress and go through this alone. Have you asked your ex what he sees in your family’s future? Maybe he’s reacting poorly because he’s stressed out about becoming a parent, which can absolutely be helped! Try to involve him in your pregnancy, if he’s willing. Here are some posts to help: http://www.everydayfamily.com/a-dads-guide-to-pregnancy/. Keep your head up, and best wishes!

  15. Profile photo of NIKKI NIKKI says:

    I’m 38 and pregnant with my 3rd child. I was a teen mom with my 1st, but I had great support from my family. I was married with my 2nd child, so I had the father there with me all the way. My children are 21 & 14. I am starting all over. My ex and I were planning on moving in together. He was actually more excited than I was about the pregnancy. Then all of a sudden a month ago, he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore, that he wants nothing to do with me or the baby and packed up and moved across the country. This is the first time I have felt alone.. I am a bit afraid because I will really be doing this by myself for the first time. I’m trying to stay excited about this new life I am bringing into this world while also managing a broken heart.

  16. Profile photo of Alvyda Alvyda says:

    Hi all single and pregnant, as bas as it is, but still happy I am not alone. We are both 28, we lived together for 6-7 years, I believed in him and our life together… But he tells now he wants ‘to try something new, new relationships, new women’. so that is all… we are alone just me and the baby. super hard being alone, family overseas, no true friend living close… feeling terrible… I understand I have to be strong for the baby and I know I will be fine, but living now is black and it is hard to deal with it. looking for some moral support, real friendship, maybe some singles and pregnant group meetings, discussions – does anyone know anything? or would be interested to share their feelings and give/receive support? I am hoping that meeting women in similar situation should be very helpful

  17. Profile photo of tera tera says:

    I am 39 and am 31 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. I have been a single mother for the past 10 years cause the father of my older 3 passed away. The father of my unborn child has decided he doesn’t want to be involved until there is a paternity test. I’m not sure if I want him to be involved since he is acting like he is. I have raised 3 kids for the last 10 years by myself I know I can raise another. It is just very hard going through a pregnancy where the father does not want to be involve. I feel so alone. The only person I really have to talk to about it is my mom but it is still very lonely to go through this without the father to share it with. For me abortion and adoption were not an option I could go through with. Sometimes we have to struggle in life to know how strong we really are. So I’m going to raise my baby along with my other 3 children and be happy and stronger.

  18. It is hard. I am only 11 weeks but I told the father as soon as I found out. He has wanted me to get an abortion since the day I told him and he doesn’t see any other option because he wants to continue being 25 with no responsibilities. I want to keep my baby– and I’m going to keep my baby. I have lots of help and support from my mom and dad. My mom is going to watch the baby when I go back to work. While, I still have that love and support from my family, it’s still very hard being single and pregnant let alone in the future being a single mother. I would love for my baby to have it’s father around, but I don’t feel like I should force him to be involved. He already wants me to just get rid of it for his own selfish reasons–and even called me selfish for not doing what he wants me to do. He has been very hateful, with name calling and harassing, which isn’t good for me being pregnant so I have had to cut off communication with him as of now. There are times that I question whether or not I’m making the right decision. I have a really good, stable job, and I know I can support my child and give them the things they want and need, but I don’t know if in fact I am being selfish.

    • Profile photo of Megan KlayEditor Megan Klay says:

      Hi Lindsay, It sounds like you’re making the decision you feel is right for you and your baby. It’s wonderful to hear that your parents are being supportive as well. If the baby’s father does not want to be in your child’s life, then it is his loss. It sounds like your child will have plenty of love already!

  19. Profile photo of gill gill says:

    Needing some support. I live with my now ex boyfriend. I have two kids and now 26 weeks pregnant. I need to find a place to live with my kids and deal with being alone during the pregnancy. I from the start never wanted another baby. I feel so lost and alone right now with nowhere to turn. Home life is full of friction. Dont really have family support as most are overseas. I have considered adoption but dont think I can go through with it, just dont know if I can go through with another baby either.

    • Profile photo of Eva Eva says:

      Hang in there. Don’t make any critical decisions right away. Sometimes what we think we want now is something we will regret later! I know it seem rough right now but trust me there will be a brighter side to your hardships! Just keep working at your life and eventually things will start to happen for you. I know the feeling of not knowing where to go or what to do all too well. It took me 8 years to get to where I am now.

  20. Profile photo of Sonia Sonia says:

    it must be reeally hard i dont know what it is like but i have seen pregnut single moothers who say its hard but at the end they see a way to make it work they will find some way to take care of her self and her baby.

  21. Profile photo of Jacqueline Jacqueline says:

    I am 34 I have a career; my own place my own suv; and will have my own baby! I am a single parent; I never ever imagine myself being a single mom because I have always been a relationship if I was with a man; and this time my decisions making has resulted to me being a single mom. Not knocking anyone on here; But this is a one time event. We as woman have to get to the point when enough is enough; it will Never be a 2nd child or more for me. I am happy and I am content but the truth of the matter is we didn’t make these babies by ourselves and its a shame that we are raising them by ourselves. But we are strong women in spite of the situation. Be strong and be of good courage and God will provide. Our babies are a gift from God and I just believe that he will give all of us the strength we need to endure! This is all new to me and I will do every thing to give this little one the best life it deserve. God bless each of you on here!

  22. Profile photo of sharrion sharrion says:

    Im 20 years old and will be 21 a couple of weeks after my son is born. Im a single mother all the way and it has me freaked out. I started off excellent working and saving a lot of money but I am now 22 weeks and have been put on bed rest since i was 20 weeks. My doc doesnt think that i will be allowed to go back to work and that scares me since most of my savings is going on doctors bills. I stay with my Mother and step dad and they are very very supportive and willing to help and even though Im totally scared I know everything happens for a reason. My mom raised 6 kids being a single parent Im pretty sure that I can handle one.
    God bless everyone and their situations.

  23. Profile photo of Terricka Terricka says:

    Im 26 on my third child. I had my first at 16. The dad walked away before the baby arrived. And my mom helped me. I have a two year old and im pregnant with my third son. None of the fathers are around. Im getting my tubes tied after this one. I dont have family support. And I dont have friends. Just a few associates. Being a single mom is not easy but I have my own place two and a steady job. My kids dont want for anything, and because of that im stress free. Yes I would love for the men who knocked me up to be around but I can’t make them. There the ones missing out not me.I wouldnt trade my boys for anything. At the end of the day there all i have, and nobody loves me like my boys. Just keep your head up and do the best you can to better yourself so things can be better for your children!

    • Profile photo of Jacqueline Jacqueline says:

      I like your story I know it has not and was not easy! This is my first, wow when I was 26 I had just got married and now at 34 im divorced; no kids by my husband at that time. But your message was interesting and continue to speak life into yourself as well as your boys. God has kept you this far he will continue to keep you and yours. Im new to this so im just getting started with this new life journey! Be Bless!

  24. Profile photo of Tristintran Tristintran says:

    Starting looking for help with family and friends.

  25. Profile photo of Ros Ros says:

    agree im single mother 2 i gat the help and support from my family

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