Toddler Anxiety

Little girl starting into distance
Flickr Image/Emily Rainsford Photography

Life with a toddler-in-tow can be a lot of fun. It may also be a bit more complex than the earlier days you spent with your child. There is the realization that they are independent of you, and they are working through thoughts and feelings about themselves and their world. As your munchkin encounters new experiences, you may notice that they are apprehensive, perhaps even anxious.

As a toddler, your child is gaining the skills needed to acquire independence. This is evident in their rapidly growing language and gross motor skills, as well as their desire and ability to express feelings and make decisions. These are the wonderful outcomes of growing up.

What does a toddler’s anxiety look like?

Although language skills are emerging, toddlers may have a hard time communicating their thoughts and fears. Anxiety may manifest itself through tears, outbursts, and other inappropriate behaviors (e.g. hitting, biting, throwing toys).

What can you do?

First, recognize behaviors (mentioned above) in your child that may be signs of anxiety. These behaviors may occur during an experience they are uncertain of and/or in moments, hours, or even days following a situation.

Next, acknowledge your child’s emotions and help provide the words they may be seeking. For instance, if you see behaviors happening and you believe they are associated with the introduction/exploration of a new environment (i.e. preschool), make it clear that you understand: “I know you are worried. It is okay.” It is important to remain a calm force in your child’s world. When you see that they are scared – no matter how you are feeling – you must remain confident.

Make a plan to work through the situation. If the source of anxiety is enrollment in a new program, make a transition plan for your child. Take the time to meet teachers, explore the environment with your child, and work in partnership with the professionals that are working with the program. Trust yourself, trust your child, and trust the individuals you have selected to work with your child. Remember to be consistent in your plan. If your child shows anxiety about your departure, work through a good-bye plan ahead of time (i.e. mommy will give you three hugs and five kisses) and communicate clearly with your child about what will happen next. Children, just like us, need to know what is coming. The unknown and/or the unexpected will fuel anxiety.

Finally, if nothing else is working, don’t back away. Instead, connect with resources you need to work through the situation (i.e. pediatrician, early childhood professional, a children’s librarian who can recommend resources, etc.).

What do you think?

Toddler Anxiety

Tell us what you think!


  1. Profile photo of Janice Janice says:

    My grandchildren, get nervous in new situations, or even places they have gone before, but still not sure of. We could use the good by plan our self. My daughters six year old started preschool with no apprehension, but after , she was nervous , in new situations with out someone she knows, with her.

  2. Profile photo of Jen Jen says:

    I am having this issue recently with my 22 month old. He is having a hard time transitioning between places, like car to store, then back again. Shows extreme anxiety when I try to get him through the door whether coming or going. I’ve tried telling him the plan, having him bring a lovey, snack, bribery, etc, but nothing seems to work. I think he wants to be carried, but I am very pregnant and am unable to do so for very long. I’m not sure what else to do short of staying cooped up unless someone can watch him and I don’t feel that’s the answer. Praying he will come out of it soon.


Get a FREE Newborn Sleep Guide when you sign up for our newsletter

By joining the community, you will have access to our active community of mothers just like you, interactive tools, sweepstakes, free baby offers and more! You will also receive customized newsletters tailored specifically to you and special offers directly in your inbox.

Due Date or Baby's Birth Date

By clicking the "Join Now" button you are agreeing to the terms of use and privacy policy.

Send this to a friend