How to Stay Connected During Pregnancy When You Can’t Be Intimate

Image adapted via Flickr/ Emery Co Photo

It got you here in the first place, and sex during pregnancy can be a great experience. But for some couples, abstaining from sex may be in the best interest of the health of your baby.

For most couples, sex during pregnancy is completely healthy. But if you've been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix, premature labor, placenta previa, or a few other conditions, your doctor may recommend that you and your partner abstain from intercourse.

If you've been told you can't have sex during your pregnancy, here are some tips on how you and your partner can stay connected:


Image via Flickr/ Emery Co Photo

Ask the Limits

If your doctor has told you that, for your health or for the health of your unborn baby, you can't have sex, be sure to ask questions. Find out what the limits are, why it's suggested you avoid the activities, and what could happen if you don't listen to the advice.

For some, you may not be able to have intercourse, but for others, it may be suggested to avoid anything that could aggravate your uterus (and, yes, for some women, nipple stimulation can stir up contractions).

Knowing the limits can help you and your partner feel safe with the advice of your doctor, and depending on your situation, you may have some ways you can still be physically intimate once you know all the rules.


Image via Flickr/ Support Tattoos and Piercings at Work

Cuddle, Touch, Hold Hands

Take it back to when you first started dating and cuddle, kiss, and touch (as long as that's been OKed by your doctor). There are more subtle ways to be intimate without having sex and breaking your no-sex-during-pregnancy hold. Sleep naked at night and sit close together when you're at home. Hold hands when you're out shopping, and you'll find that the connection can really keep you close.

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Image via Flickr/ emilianohorcada

Talk Often

There is no denying that intimacy plays a big role in a happy partnership, and when you're not able to (for whatever reason), that distance can really drift in. By talking to your partner about your feelings and frustrations — being sure not to place any blame — you can keep connected and can try to find some comradery in the less-than-ideal situation.

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Image via Flickr/ adamjonfuller

Schedule and Stick to Weekly Dates

Make time for each other to do fun things (that don't contradict any activity modifications your doctor has suggested) and put it into your schedule. Yes, there may be a random time here or there when you'll need to break the schedule of your date, but whenever possible, stick to the time you have set for each other.

If you have older children, hire a babysitter once or twice a month or set a date on a Monday at a home to help foster closeness with your partner.

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What tips do you have on how to stay connected when you can't be intimate? Share in the comments!

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How to Stay Connected During Pregnancy When You Can’t Be Intimate

Devan McGuinness is the founder of the online resource Unspoken Grief, which is dedicated to breaking the silence of perinatal grief for those directly and indirectly affected by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Using her own experience of surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan has been actively supporting and encouraging others who are wading through the challenges associated with perinatal and neonatal loss. Winner of the 2012 Bloganthropy Award and named one of Babble's “25 bloggers wh ... More

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