Why You Need to Talk More with Your Partner After Baby

Image adapted via Flickr/ Emery Co Photo

Expanding your family and welcoming a child into your relationship is a super exciting time. There are so many new things you'll get to experience together and a world of wonder ahead of you. There will also be a lot of new responsibilities, stresses, and hard times that can rock even the most solid of partnerships.

Early on, you'll be faced with sleep deprivation, healing from pregnancy and birth, and a surge of hormones going from one end of the spectrum to the next. The first few months of a new baby were always the most challenging for me — and for my relationship.

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If you're about to welcome a new baby to your family, or you just have, now is the time to really focus on communication with your partner. I talk to my husband all the time about big issues and little everyday things, but after welcoming a new baby, I learned that talking more often was necessary to the health of our relationship.

Image via Flickr/ Emery Co Photo

It allows less room for misunderstandings.

Have you ever heard from your partner that they're not a mind reader? I have, and it's because I wasn't opening up to my husband about what was bothering me. Once we made talking more of a priority — whether it was talking about the kids, our day, or bigger things, like our future — it opened the lines of communication, and we had a lot less room for those “why aren't you reading my mind” moments.

Image via Flickr/ Emery Co Photo

You can problem-solve together.

When I am having an issue at home, talking about it with my husband helps us brainstorm solutions together. In the past, I had kept the questions I was having with the kids to myself, but in doing so, I started to hold on to built-up stress, and that didn't do anyone any good. I thought my husband knew the stress I had at home, but his being away at work for nine-plus hours each day and expecting him to understand was not reasonable.

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When I started to talk to him more — letting him in on what was stressing me out — we were able to speak about it and come up with solutions together. I felt supported, I let go of a lot of stress, and the solutions really worked.

Image via Flickr/ OakleyOriginals

You're reminded why regular dates are important.

If you're waiting for the opportunity to be spontaneous and surprise your partner with a night out, you'll be waiting too long. Sure, scheduling alone time isn't as sexy as spur-of-the-moment fun, but that alone time is so essential for keeping your partnership healthy.

Make time in your calendars, mark it off, and keep to your schedule for regular date nights. It doesn't have to be complicated, but aim for at least once a week if you can.

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Did you find talking more with your partner helped after your baby was born? Share in the comments.

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Why You Need to Talk More with Your Partner After Baby

Devan McGuinness is the founder of the online resource Unspoken Grief, which is dedicated to breaking the silence of perinatal grief for those directly and indirectly affected by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Using her own experience of surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan has been actively supporting and encouraging others who are wading through the challenges associated with perinatal and neonatal loss. Winner of the 2012 Bloganthropy Award and named one of Babble's “25 bloggers wh ... More

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  1. Albert says:

    I’m a proud father of a baby boy named Riley. My son was born January 26th 2015. A few months after she found out she was pregnant, the mother and I haven’t been on the right track. It didn’t help that her mother and “friends” helped turn her against me. I have her grandparents on my side. I love and care for my son. I was sadly excluded from doctor visits, and the birth of my first child at the hospital. She so far hasn’t let me see him or be apart of his life. I took fathering/co-parenting classes, read up on taking care of a baby, went and got two jobs and it’s very stressful dealing with a parent who is trying to escape me or co-parenting all together. I’ve tried mediation, I’ve tried couples counseling, I’ve asked her to take co-parenting classes and I’m currently awaiting for the DNA test to be forced by the CSEA. I need all the support I can get as a caring father. I’ve become numb due to waiting. I only want to see and be apart of my son’s life. I am 23 years old, when I do finally get to see and hold him, how should I handle the Ex? I mean I still care and have feelings for her, she gave birth to my son but I fear she doesn’t feel the same about me. I can’t figure out why she’s treating me, my son, and my family so negatively. I mean I did get highly upset that she smoked marijuana while pregnant with my son. I am currently going through family counseling to learn how to deal better with such situations. On top of that, I have ADHD, and febrile seizures. A childhood medical condition that could pass down. So I worry every day. I feel like he needs me.

    • Megan Klay says:

      Hi Albert – I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a tough time participating in your son’s life due to his mother. If you’re not able to work out a visitation schedule with her, you may need to consider seeking legal advice.


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