Husband Building: 10 Things I Say to My Boys to Make Them Good Husbands

good husband
Image via Amanda Rodriguez

The thought that my boys will one day choose another woman to love and leave me for makes my eyes leak.

I know it's going to happen, and deep down, I want it to happen. But also, sigh.

Despite my reluctance to release them fully from my womb, I have made preparations for that day by helping them learn how to be good husbands.

If some chick is going to take them, I want her to recognize their awesome. Courtesy of me, of course.

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Husband Building: 10 Things I Say to My Sons to Make Them Good Husbands

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Image via DudeMom

Your undies go in the hamper.

Not on the bathroom floor. Not behind the door in your bedroom. Not hanging from the ceiling fan. In. The. Hamper. And it's your job to get them there, not mine.

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Image via DudeMom

Gimme the remote.

Not because I really want you to watch the Miss Universe pageant with me (although I told you it would be awesome), but because it's not all about you. Sometimes it's about me.

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Image via DudeMom

Do you like my dress?

Because I want them to get in the habit of noticing. And remarking. In a kind and thoughtful way that makes the woman in their life feel beautiful and recognized.

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Image via DudeMom

When I speak, you listen.

It's how you show me you care. And it makes this relationship work. And I know things, possibly all things, so you need to listen to me so that I can help shorten the list of things you don't know.

My talking is basically a favor to you. Plus, you need practice listening because your wife is totally gonna know the difference between your actually-listening-to-her face and your pretending-to-listen-while-actually-thinking-about-your-Call-of-Duty-kill-ratio face.

Like I said, my talking is basically a favor to you!

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Image via DudeMom

Go ahead and cry.

Real men have real emotions that they really know how to express. Plus, your feelings are important to people who love you, and sharing them with those people is part of a healthy relationship.

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Image via DudeMom

Save your money.

Give some to charity. Use what's left wisely. Buy me flowers and shoes.

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Image via DudeMom

Thanks for standing up for me.

Call me a cavewoman if you want, but it feels good to know that my boys care enough about me and my honor to get fired up when someone hurts me.

They never fail at this task (seriously, try to tell a “yo mama” joke around here!), and I always praise their efforts and then tell them I got this. My feminist traits won't let me hide behind a man, but it's nice to know they will be there just in case someone gets crazy.

And hold the door, too. Chivalry is a thing that has no business being dead.

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Image via DudeMom

Go cut the grass. And when you're done, come help me with dinner.

One of the main reasons women cite for marital discord is lack of support around the house. I want my boys to be able to hold their own in the cooking and cleaning departments, and I don't want them to need a woman to take care of them. Unless it's me, and then come to mama.

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Image via DudeMom

Don't you lie to me.

No one likes a dishonest human. Trust is like the absolutely most important element of any single relationship.

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Image via DudeMom

Give me a hug.

Arms around my neck, hard squeeze. Women appreciate a man who can show affection. Now, don't go showing affection all over the place; reserve it for those who deserve it. And me. Always have a hug ready for me.

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Husband Building: 10 Things I Say to My Boys to Make Them Good Husbands

Amanda has been wowing the Internet since 2008 when she launched her pretty-much-useless guide for parents, parenting BY dummies. As it turns out, her parenting advice is not generally useful for more than a good laugh, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need! Amanda spends her offline time (which is embarrassingly limited) running a photography business, working as a social media director for a local magazine, writing freelance articles about stuff she loves, wrangling her 3 little Dudes ... More

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2 comments

  1. Jacque says:

    You are my favorite blogger on Everyday Family. Thanks for always giving a happy outlook on motherhood. I am a dude mom, too, but I only have one who’s not quite three. We are currently working on the good husband skill of not peeing in the shower – or at least please don’t let me know you’re doing it 🙂

  2. amy says:

    Thank you for writing this. Amazing that all mothers aren’t working on this issue in light of the problems we’re seeing on our college campus’. Some woman will be eternally blessed and lucky to get one of your handsome sons.

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