A Letter to My Son Now That We’re Done Nursing
This past week, my heart has broken just a little when you've pointed to the couch in the morning because you want to nurse. My heart has ached over the past two weeks when we've tried, but you've bitten me because you're impatient that the milk isn't coming, or that there just wasn't enough. I want to be able to give it to you, but my body listened to your needs and knew that you were now being nourished enough by water and the food mama prepares for you.
Today was the first day you didn't point to ask, and I'm proud of you for being stronger than I am now that we've weaned. I suppose our time nursing ended as best as I could have expected, and the timing was probably right, but mama misses our time spent snuggling, my body nourishing yours, gazing at your sweet little everything, looking into each other's blue eyes. Now that you're (mostly) sleeping through the night, and I'm finally starting to feel human again, I even insanely miss those middle of the night cuddles in mama and daddy's bed when I would nurse you and hold you curled into me. I will cherish my memories of those times nursing together and will hold it close to my heart for always.
I look forward to all of the snuggles that will come, as I know I am still an important source of comfort for you, but you're just too busy exploring right now to want to sit still for long. I even secretly look forward to you sleeping in mama and daddy's bed every once in a while, if for whatever reason you might feel like you need to be close to me in the middle of the night.
I am so grateful we made it to one year, my darling. 13 months, to be exact. It wasn't always an easy journey, but you latched on strong from day one, and loved your milky the whole way through. I'll try to stay strong as you're getting bigger. But please, be gentle with my heart and patient with me sometimes needing to smother you in kisses and loves.
Love forever and always,