7 Common Relationship Arguments When You Have a Newborn

Image adapted via Flickr/ OakleyOriginals

If you want to test your relationship, have a baby. No, really, there has been no other time that really tested my husband's and my commitment to each other like right after bringing a new baby home. It didn't matter if it was our first or our fourth, each time was difficult for many reasons.

When you think about it, it makes sense. You have this new (huge) responsibility, a person you are just getting to know who trumps all other needs, you're tired like you can't even believe, and hormones are all sorts of wild. So, while welcoming a new baby into the world is positive and happy, it's certainly not without stressful times.

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Like I said, my husband and I fought a lot and it always seems to be worse in the first 4 months and then slowly gets better. As we're just on the outside of the cusp of all the postpartum arguments, I have so much in common with others who find themselves fighting and bickering with their partner.

If you're about to welcome a new baby, here are 7 common relationship arguments that can arise when you have a brand new baby.

Image via Flickr/ Joshua Rappeneker

1. All the little things

“We just bickered about the little things – whose turn it was to change the diaper, etc. Especially with the third, when there were two other kids to take care of. It was dumb and useless fighting. Once we established roles and duties it was a lot better e.g. he would bathe older kids while I nursed baby.” – Mara

Image via Flickr/ Jan de Graaf

2. Everything

“We fought about everything. The big stuff, the little stuff. I felt like he wasn't helping enough and he felt like I wasn't doing enough myself. But, I had undiagnosed [postpartum depression] & we were never meant to be together anyway. We've been separated 1.5 years and are getting divorced.”–Devon

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Image via Flickr/ footloosiety

3. Who works harder?

“Who works harder? It always seems to boil down to husband: ‘But I've been at work all day doing a physical job.' Wife: ‘And I'm just sitting on my [butt] watching soaps?' At least with the first that's how things seem to go – the second has been better, not nearly as many arguments.” – Kelly

Image via Flickr/ a4gpa

4. Expectations

“We never discussed what was expected. I assumed he'd know to help without being asked. He assumed I'd ask when I needed the help. So, basically, we were both waiting for something that never happened … until a blow up.” – Alexandra

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Image via Flickr/ storyvillegirl

5. Sleep

“Who gets a lie in at the weekend!!! Always. And just about everything else to be honest.” – Mel

Image via Flickr/ Sharon Mollerus

6. How to feed the baby

“My son began having colic 2 days after birth and I breast fed him and I ate a really careful diet to limit the foods that would have influenced any gassiness. My husband would argue with me about how we should just ‘try' formula because he thought our son was allergic to breast milk (I tried many ways to explain to him that the breast milk itself would not cause an allergy to no avail). We went four and a half months with a colicky baby, little sleep and chomping at the bits with each other like we had never done before. It was a standoff of how he thought I should stop breastfeeding and start formula. We even had a lactation consultant and medical professionals explain the lactation process related to food allergy, etc. and he still didn't believe that our son wasn't ‘allergic' to my breast milk. As first time parents, we were put through the ringer, but fortunately my son is healthy and my husband finally began to learn more about food sensitivities, plain old colic will be colic, and to roll with it. Seven years later with two kiddos keeping us jumping and half a head of gray hair later, I'm still ticking.” – Newlyn, Heaven's Tiny Halos

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Image via Flickr/ Sukanto Debnath

7. Food

“We didn't argue about baby related things because I did everything and I was ok with that! We argued about what we were going to eat!! LOL gotta love postpartum silliness!!” – Niki

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What arguments did you and your partner have when you welcomed a newborn?

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7 Common Relationship Arguments When You Have a Newborn

Devan McGuinness is the founder of the online resource Unspoken Grief, which is dedicated to breaking the silence of perinatal grief for those directly and indirectly affected by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Using her own experience of surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan has been actively supporting and encouraging others who are wading through the challenges associated with perinatal and neonatal loss. Winner of the 2012 Bloganthropy Award and named one of Babble's “25 bloggers wh ... More

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