6 Ways to Work On Your Marriage When You Don’t Even Like Your Husband
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Boy and girl get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.
Anyone who is married or has been married can tell you that is not how it works out at all. Throw in a few children, a mortgage, and unrelenting bills in the mix, and you have reality. Parenting is hard. Marriage is challenging. Staying happily married with children is even harder. Are you struggling with your marriage and find your self-daydreaming about packing up your stuff and leaving in the middle of the night?
Here are some ideas you can try to get you back on the path toward a happier life with your husband.
Seek Professional Help
When it comes to the various challenges in a marriage, it may be helpful to have a third party be the mediator between the two of you. This, of course, means that both you and your husband have to agree to marriage counseling. Counseling will likely not be successful if only one of you wants to talk about your struggles.
Marriage counseling can teach you and your spouse how to be better communicators. It can also help you understand how to better understand your spouse and learn how the other reacts in certain situations. It helped us out. So whether you go to a marriage counselor or somewhere else, it's important to understand your spouse's personality so the right communication tool is used.
Communication is the foundation to a solid marriage. Even when you are most frustrated, it is important to be open with your husband. You won't always agree with your husband, so learning to pick your battles will help put your grievances into perspective.
Face-to-face communication isn't always the best form of communication. Humans get defensive very quickly. Instead, try to put your feelings to words in a letter or in an email. That way, he has time to think, react, rethink, and then respond. The outcome is typically much more positive.
Treat Yourself First
When you are having a difficult time with your spouse, take some time to yourself. Go into a different room, go for a walk, turn on some music, or call an old friend. This may help you look for the positives and think about what your husband does right.
Making Time to Reconnect
When life gets busy, couples often put each other on the back burner. Be sure to make time to reconnect with each other without kids, family, and technology.
Another big part about reconnecting is showing interest in your spouse's interests, even if they aren't your favorite things to do. Your spouse will appreciate that you have gone the distance to show him that his interests are important to you.
Rekindle Old Memories
If you are having a hard time remembering why you fell in love in the first place, go back to the places or things you enjoyed doing together when you first met. This may help remind yourselves why you love each other. Also, doing hobbies together will help you reconnect in a way you haven't.
A healthy intimate relationship really helps a marriage. This does not just mean sex, but the act of feeling physically close to each other. Intentionally grabbing each other's hands in the car, sitting next to each other at dinner, and exchanging a hug when greeting each other after a long day are great ways to rekindle an intimate relationship with your spouse.
What things do you do to get your marriage back on the right path?