5 Truths Every Pregnant Woman Knows

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Image via Etsy CheekyKumbquat

When it comes to pregnancy, there seem to be two solid camps of thought:

  1. That pregnancy is the most beautiful, magical, serene time in a woman's life when she kind of floats around with her hand on her stomach thinking motherly thoughts or …
  2. That pregnancy is awful, sweaty, bizarre, and mostly involves talking yourself down from panic that you are leaking weird things and being kicked from the inside.

And honestly, there are truths to both sides. So whichever camp you belong to–and my guess it's a little bit of both — you will enjoy these rather humorous universal truths for pregnancy.

{ MORE: If There's a Newborn in Her Arms, That's Not a Pregnant Belly }

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Image via Etsy/ CrumpleandToss

1. Your baby is actually pretty rude

I mean seriously. Just literally camping out and sucking the life out of you? How rude.

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Image via Etsy/ CheekyKumbquat

2. This is what people are really congratulating

It all makes sense now. I always did feel awkward when people congratulated me, because I mean, it's not like I did anything that I feel is praise-worthy to talk about, especially in front of my grandma, you know? #awkward #supersperm

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Image via Etsy/ BEpaperie

3. There's a lot of scary stuff coming your way

Forget the cutesy baby shower cupcakes. This card gets it right. Parenting is beautiful and also involves a lot of bodily fluids, so might as well get that straight from the beginning.

{ MORE: The Ultimate Home Birth Kit: Everything You'll Need (and Want) }

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Image via Etsy/ CheekyKumbquat

4. Having a baby = you need to know stuff

Just this week, I was asked about the meaning of life, why the sky is blue, who is God, why do people die, and why do hornets exist? And I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not sure I got any of those answers right …

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Image via Etsy/ ShopWhitty

5. Life happens

And that's perfectly OK! Allow me to offer my congratulations to you.

{ MORE: Hilarious! The Funniest Things Kids Have Ever Said About Their Mom’s Bodies }

What are some of your pregnancy truths?

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5 Truths Every Pregnant Woman Knows

Chaunie Brusie is a coffee mug addict, a labor and delivery nurse turned freelance writer, and a young(ish) mom of four. She is the author of "Tiny Blue Lines: Preparing For Your Baby, Moving Forward In Faith, & Reclaiming Your Life In An Unplanned Pregnancy" and "The Moments That Made You A Mother". She also runs Passion Meets Practicality, a community of tips + inspiration for work-at-home mothers. ... More

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