Confession Time: 10 Things Moms Do for Sleep

moms sleep
Image adapted via Flickr/ Bridget Coila

I've decided that the thing people say to you when you have a newborn, about not sleeping again for 18 years is entirely true.

I'll admit, it took me some time to come to this realization. When I was in the throes of dude-the-sun-is-down-you're-not-an-owl-you're-a-baby newborn hood I imagined this future life where my toddler was on a reasonable sleep schedule and I could go back to taking Nyquil when I was sick.

Never happened. Like, ever.

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Now that my youngest child is in elementary school (Gah! How old am I?!), there are still many nights a week where sleep is for the weak is my mantra. Nightmares, and middle of the night pees, and the fact that someone is basically always battling something (from allergies to illnesses) means my mom ears have not turned down at all yet and I still find myself going to extremes to book myself a nap.

This is NOT the part I'm going to miss when they're gone. Not at all.

Check out these things that may have been done in order to get some sleep.

Image via Flickr/ Quinn Dombrowski

Let the baby sleep in the swing. Or the bouncy chair. Like all night long. In fact, my littlest one didn't see the inside of his crib until he was almost one. Kinda because his bigger brother was still using it. Kinda because he screamed in a real bed but laid silent for hours at a time in the car seat.

crib sleeping
Image via Flickr/ Donnie Ray Jones

Laid on the floor of my baby's room. With my arm threaded into the crib on his back so I could pat him back to sleep the moment he made a peep. I had a permanent pallet right there on the floor for like a year.

Image via Flickr/ Tamaki Sono

Slept on the kitchen floor. With the dishwasher running. Listen, one of my kids was born in 2001, before the whole white noise machine was a thing. I would've slept on the side of a highway if necessary.

Image via Flickr/ sima dimitric

Nursed for 8 hours straight. Technically he wasn't actually nursing, but his food source was available and I had no problem allowing him, er, access to it for an entire night because it stopped the drama of rocking and singing and rocking and bouncing and swaying and driving around the hood in my SUV at 3am that had become my life. 

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Image via Flickr/ Andrew Malone

Gone to school pick up a full hour early. So we could sleep in the parking lot. Pick up corresponded with nap time for my baby and the toddler. Sacrifices had to be made and that sacrifice was not going to be our nap time.

Image via Flickr/ Seth Baur

Set the clocks forward an hour. That, friends, is a pro tip that you should all think about employing. It works on all ages in the winter.

nap in the car
Image via Flickr/ Lars Plougmann

Parked the car in the garage, rolled down the windows, and slept with the baby in the back. So as not to wake him in the car to bed transfer. Just not worth it when the seats recline perfectly in the car.

car seat sleeping
Image via Flickr/ deovolenti

Driven around my neighborhood, in the dead of night, mid-winter. Never mind the cost of gas, it's the cost of sanity I was worried about.

Image via Flickr/ Cowboytrix

Turned on the TV. I know. And, pre-kids, I said never. Never gonna be that mom that lets the television babysit my kid. But, after a long, barf filled weekend where my 5-year-old was ill and my two-year-old was rebelling against night sleep, and my 10 months pregnant self just really couldn't take it anymore. I put on a Diego DVD and said wake me when it ends. Best. Nap. Ever.

Image via Flickr/ Then Again Photography

Hired a babysitter. And said I was going to work (I work from home). Then went into my basement office, closed the door, and fell straight out on the floor behind my desk. Okay, okay, THIS was the best nap ever.


{ MORE: What To Do When You Just Can't Set Your Crying Baby Down }

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Confession Time: 10 Things Moms Do for Sleep

Amanda has been wowing the Internet since 2008 when she launched her pretty-much-useless guide for parents, parenting BY dummies. As it turns out, her parenting advice is not generally useful for more than a good laugh, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need! Amanda spends her offline time (which is embarrassingly limited) running a photography business, working as a social media director for a local magazine, writing freelance articles about stuff she loves, wrangling her 3 little Dudes ... More

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