Pregnancy After Loss

woman deep in thoughtPregnancy is one of the most fascinating and exciting times in life. It can cause a roller coaster of emotions that range from sheer exhilaration to immense fear! If you have ever been unfortunate and had a miscarriage, your next pregnancy can be torturous. Obviously, this depends largely on your outlook in life; however, most women find that pregnancy after loss is very difficult. You are afraid to get excited too soon, you don’t want to share the news with anyone, and you refuse to talk about the baby or look at baby clothes. You are constantly aware of your body and wondering if every little ping and pang is a signal to trouble, all because you don’t want to suffer like you did once before.

Speaking first hand, I can say for sure that being pregnant again after having a miscarriage was frightening. For me, there was little excitement, and I found that I didn’t enjoy the early stages at all. All I wanted was to feel the baby move inside me, to be able to drink orange juice and jostle her into action so that I knew everything was all right. But I was lucky; I had an awesome doctor who gave me some really good advice which is being passed on to you right now.

The first thing she said to me, sensing my concern and fear, was that it was more important to her that I was comfortable than anything else. She believed that the mother’s health affected (emotional and physical) the development of the baby. So, she decided to schedule me visits that were more frequent. She also had me take a simple blood draw every few days to make sure that my HCG was doubling daily and that my progesterone levels were increasing. Often, low progesterone is the cause to early miscarriage. She even offered to put me on progesterone pills which would help the fetus implant nicely in the uterus.

For the first few months, I was able to visit the doctor frequently. She schedule an extra ultrasound or two, just to keep me comfortable so that I could see firsthand that everything was developing okay. She also wrote my pregnancy up as high risk, due to my last miscarriage – so that insurance would provide for these extra visits. When I made my way into the 2nd trimester, I believed that I would be okay. However, still at the back of my mind was a lurking fear that lightning would strike twice. Again, my doctor came to the rescue, offering me the opportunity to have a heart beat monitor at home so I could listen to my baby anytime I wanted. This was a pure Godsend!

What I found, and you will too, is that worrying what everyone else thinks is crazy. I purposely hid my thoughts and fears until my very intuitive doctor picked up on them. And I am glad she did. The truth is that if you have suffered a pregnancy loss, it is only natural to be fearful about another pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with this, and it certainly doesn’t indicate that you have gone mad, are paranoid, or are losing your mind. Instead, embrace this fear and come to terms with it. This way you can find ways, which there are many, to help ease your mind and help you enjoy the pregnancy while you are pregnant. Sure, nothing will ever be 100% certain – but feeling comfortable and learning to relax is an important part of pregnancy.

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Pregnancy After Loss

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10 comments

  1. Billie says:

    This is a very good article. My husband and I lost our 6th baby to miscarriage. Like another reader, I had no signs. The baby’s heartbeat was just not there at the 4 month check, and ultrasound confirmed I had lost her. We are trying again, but I know I will be a nervous wreck the whole time once it happens. It would be great if some of the commenters would include their successful pregnancy after miscarriage stories and hook them onto this story.

  2. I wish I had a doctor as caring as some of you had. They just looked at it as if it was no biggie. I lost mine at 10 weeks in the shower. They asked me to bring it in and they never even looked at it. They wanted to keep it but I took it with me when I left because I figure they will just toss it. that was November 28th, 2012. Now I am 18 weeks and a nervous wreck about everything. I am begining to feel movement slightly but it still bothers me.

  3. Elfie says:

    With my rainbow baby I was constantly worried even though my dr said I could come inanytime to hear the heartbeat.

  4. Marina says:

    I can totally relate. I am 27 wks. and due on the date that my previous baby passed away (had a missed miscarriage at almost 11 wks. – I had no cramping or bleeding, at my OB visit there was no heart beat & baby was measuring right on track therefore, baby died just within a day or two). With this pregnancy, I used fetal Doppler until he started to move to decrease my fears.

  5. nkechi says:

    Thanks for this piece of advice as i had a miscarrige of my twins and am too scared to even try again.

  6. Thanks for letting me know I’m not totally insane. It’s 37 weeks and I still am afraid of getting my hopes up…that somehow it will "jinx" the pregnancy. I only started preparing (buying a crib etc.) two weeks ago. I suffered a tubal pregnancy in 2007 and a miscarriage in 2010 at three months. It’s been both miraculous and frightening this time around. It seems strange but going through those awful experiences made every day of this pregnancy seem like a blessing. Great article.

  7. joselynn says:

    all very true and very helpfull! i had 4 misscarages prior to this pregnancy

  8. Thanks so much for this article it gave me some good ideas to keep me from worrying. I lost a little boy at 5 1/2 months on May 22 2010 it was one of the hardest thing to be excited this time with it being two weeks from being two years sense we lost our little boy when I first found out we was preggors again. I’ve been worried to death this time, and can not wait for my visits!!!! I even cried with relief when I heard its heart beat at my last visit!!! My dr has also been wonderful and was my dr threw the miscarriage so he picked up on my worrys from the beginning and told me once I got to be about 25 26 weeks I would start to worry a lot less because I could feel the baby movements a lot stronger. I’m 16 weeks and two days and love the thought of the home fetal heart monitor, I feel like it would ease my mind until I feel more than just flutters. Thank 🙂

  9. Mariah says:

    This is very helpful for me. I lost my son (first pregnancy) @22weeks 5days on Feb 12 2010. I am currently 5weeks 2days, i am petrified!

  10. Anna says:

    I find this article helpful.. i had lost a baby a year ago and am 15 weeks and 3 days along now and am very scared about loseing this baby..

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