Nurturing Your Relationship While Trying to Conceive
It’s amazing how sex between couples can change when it turns from recreational to…shall we say, functional! Suddenly the ‘mood’ hits when your basal body temperature peaks, and nothing is more erogenous than an ovulation predictor turned pink (or purple depending on the brand). In some ways, it is almost comical, but the truth is that you need to make sure that you continue to focus on each other, not just the possibility of a pregnancy.
In some instances, it is possible to know too much. Trying to conceive is one of those times. You can read numerous books, Google the fine art of baby making, and even learn how to up your chances of having either a boy or a girl. But too much knowledge takes away the natural process of conception, which by the way should be fun! However, if you are constantly focused and talking about ‘the baby’ and never acting on your own attraction and sexual impulses to fire up some romance, the relationship can be damaged.
Instead, know enough, but not so much that you are withholding sex on days when you aren’t fertile. Additionally, take steps to ensure that your partner doesn’t feel like a machine. Continue to do romantic things for one another and have sex based on something besides your biological clock.
Another mistake that couples make when they are trying to conceive is to talk about nothing else. Okay, mostly it’s women who do this – so excited about the awaiting possibility! Men, on the other hand, may not share your early parental instincts and may not want to constantly talk about the baby. If you are planning the nursery, looking for daycares, and living your present moments in the hopes of your future moments, you are truly missing out on this fleeting once in a lifetime opportunity. Some men admit to feeling left out of the baby making process completely by overzealous wives and many become fearful that they will lose their relationships once the baby is born. This could have your man second-guessing the decision to conceive in the first place.
And while optimism is definitely important when it comes to conceiving, you should remain open to the fact that it may not happen overnight. If you become overly anxious, impatient, and excited, you will be even more disappointed when you do get your period. This can lead to a lot of stress that can actually hinder your chances of conception in the future. AND….remember, it takes the average couple 3 – 6 months to conceive, so just because it doesn’t happen right away, doesn’t mean there is a problem. Relax!
It’s great that you are looking forward to getting pregnant and having a family. Yet, take it from parents who have ‘been there don’t that,’ things do change after conception. Right after conception. So bask in the here and now. Love your partner and enjoy your time together sans the strings of parenthood. Be impulsive and unpredictable while you still can. Surprise each other. Take a vacation, skydive, and sleep in all day long. The point is, make sure that you sow the wild oats of your couple-time together while you can, because once you are pregnant and have a baby to take care of – things change…and fast. In fact, you will miss the times when it was just you and your spouse with no outside distractions. So savor these moments, and most importantly, enjoy the journey of becoming a family.