It’s Okay to Say No…Really

mother with babyIf you love having your family and friends around 24/7, this article is probably not for you. For those of you who enjoy an occasional visit, but also need a respite now and then, read on.

Everyone loves a newborn. There's something magical and miraculous about a new addition. Perhaps it is their little coos and cries or their soft, wrinkly skin, or the fact that they are so tiny. And, because of this, you may find that everyone wants to spend time with your baby.

How do you feel about that? How does your partner feel? There is a difference between doing what you “think you should” and doing “what you want.”

For some of us, we want the extra hands. We want the company.

For others, we want the time alone, or with our partner, to work through this change, to work through our new roles in our relationships.

From the hospital stay to the first days and weeks at home, you may be wondering how and when to respond to these requests for visits. From the grandmas to the great aunt, to the long lost friends, keep in mind one thing: it is okay to say no.

This time is your time. This time is your partner's time. This time is precious. No matter if the days feel long now, soon, you will look back and they will have passed in what seems like the blink of an eye. This is not a time to stress over “Aunt Susie's” visit, especially if you never really enjoyed her visits to begin with!

If you do not want company 24/7, realize that is okay and do not let anyone try to convince you otherwise. After you and your partner have talked and set parameters of who and when and how much and how long, feel free to communicate them to those who are calling, texting, and emailing.

How do you say “thanks, but no thanks?”

Simply say:
“Thanks for checking in. We're just getting settled. We'll look forward to your visit once we get through these first few weeks.”

And, that's okay. As a mama, you'll find plenty of things to worry and feel guilty about. Asking for time and patience from visitors should not be one of them.

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What do you think?

It’s Okay to Say No…Really

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7 comments

  1. Alanna says:

    My partner’s mother is planning on staying with us or the first week and I’m dreading the lack of privacy. She even wants to stay with us from the day before the due date until after the baby is born. HELP!!

  2. It is seriously so hard to tell loved ones that you would rather they not come for a visit.

  3. NaQuithia says:

    I have that understanding but i guess my mom be so excited about being a grandmother that she calls the whole world. And before you know it you are in a labor and delivery room look up from a contraction and you have a thousand weird looking people all in you face. The only thought that runs through your head is grabbing the first one you see and terrorizing them. And it also puts a strain on your relationship with your spouse or partner because the tension of not enough privacy is in the air.

  4. NaQuithia says:

    I understand exactly where you are coming from. You already going to be tired and who or what baby or person would want a bunch of strange funny looking people in their face.

  5. NaQuithia says:

    Everyone is already starting to make plans with my baby. But I think they better think twice about their decisions. With my last baby because he was a boy they made plans but my decision kind overruled theirs. Now this one is a girl and i’m really very over protected now. My is constantly trying to get me to wait until the after she’s born to have the baby shower but i’m not feeling it. And plus (I appreciate and want the help) she acts as if things are not expensive and there are things that i want to choose and buy myself. I don’t want to be bothered after a c-section by anyone. C-section or not I really don’t want to be bother and I don’t want everybody blowing their breath and spreading germs on and around all in her face. I would rather everyone stop by the hospital while we’re there to see us and when it comes to my baby I would really rather them look through the nursery window at her. My husband has a crazy job and is coming to see her born and probably the next day going baby out of town to work. So truly and honestly I don’t want nobody to stick around but my husband and my mom.

  6. AliyahNicole says:

    Not looking forward to the visitors honestly.

  7. MamaCat says:

    I was very upfront with everyone when my daughter was born – I didn’t want a bunch of visitors at the hospital and everyone was to call before they came over. I ddin’t want to be interupted in the middle of feedings or naps because someone HAD to see her right away. It is a lot of pressure having a baby to start with without the added stress of family and friends who can’t take no for an answer and let you have time to yourself.

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