How Men Handle Infertility

how-men-handle-infertilityMost of the time, in terms of infertility, it is women who are subsequently seemingly the most affected. Men stand strong in the face of trouble, holding their spouse’s hands as lovingly as possible, and never fearing the worst. However, psychologists indicate that men are threatened by infertility just as much as women are – yet their plights are often ignored.

For men, it is rare that they will spend their days talking with friends about pregnancy and parenting like women do. They aren’t going to tweet or Facebook about their struggles, ask for prayers from friends, or engage in the emotional issues of infertility. So men are left to be men, toughing it out to the very end and ‘acting’ as if infertility doesn’t affect them. But it does. They often take on the attitude that if things don’t work out, they will find another way to make things right for their family and try to remain optimistic. However, when infertility is due to male issues – they take a much deeper blow to the ego than most people can imagine.

No matter how much we explore the idea that size doesn’t matter, to a man it does. And since infertility is related to the same part of the anatomy, men often feel a blow to their male ego when ‘their boys’ are suffering from mobility or potency issues. After all, all men want to believe that the fruit of their loins signifies their manhood. Even from antiquity, the ability to bear children is linked innately to the male psyche. Just because doctors and specialists can now label, diagnose, and fix problems related to the family jewels, doesn’t mean that men feel good about it.

Sadly, infertility is not just a woman’s issue. The desire to be a mother is often seen as the most powerful passion of femininity. Yet lots of men feel the same way about becoming fathers. Although infertility is not something where blame should be placed, regardless of where the medical issues lie – marriages can be strained and tested when it comes to being an infertile couple.

Complicating things further is that many men do not like the idea of sperm donors. The differences in thinking about pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children between men and women are like day and night. For obvious reasons, couples facing infertility should seek out counseling as well as choose physicians that seem to take the emotional side of things into account.

It is very important that women, families, and physicians consult with the man when it comes to infertility. Men need to feel good about the decisions being made and should be included just as wholly as they would be if pregnancy was resulting from sex. Additionally, they should be able to ask questions and understand procedures and options clearly. Consider that most men don’t know the first thing about things like ovulation or menstrual cycles, and it is easy to see how they can be confused about infertility.

When a couple is facing infertility, they should face it as a couple. The emotional tolls on the man and the woman are different, but deep just the same. If couples can keep the lines of communication open and support one another – both sexes can handle it more positively. Often, what the female lacks in her thinking, the man can make up for and vice versa. Still, the time has come to think of infertility as more than just a woman’s or a man’s issue and see it as one that affects a couple.


What do you think?

How Men Handle Infertility

Tell us what you think!


  1. LIZ says:

    interesting info tnx

  2. This is a great article! Both partners should be part of the infertility and it is very important to share your emotions and feelings.

  3. EbyMom says:

    Ask questions when you don’t understand a particular procedure and be a couple. Note that it is not a time to apportion blames. Stand with your partner as one.

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  5. DANIYAH says:

    Be there for one another thru thick and thin

  6. Julie says:

    Great article, men should be included and their feelings taken into account even if their not showing what they are feeling.

  7. sukismom says:

    Support your other half no matter what!

  8. Debbie says:

    Much needed Info for the unknown…

  9. SammysMOMMY says:

    Men aren’t alone. It takes two to tango!

  10. MLS says:

    great info woman be there for your man in times of need

  11. brandy says:

    great info definately will share with my family members who are having trouble concieving

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