Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

close happy coupleYou've been together for what seems like forever. You now have this wonderful little person in your life. Perhaps your lives are busier than ever before. Everything may be wonderful, but there may be a little something missing – “the flame.”

Remember those days when you couldn't keep your eyes and hands off of each other? They may have been those early days in the relationship when everything was new. Just because there is not that level of intimacy does not mean that the love isn't there. In fact, it probably runs deeper than ever. The challenge is taking time for a little romance. Sometimes romance is an easy thing to let go, forgetting about making time for each other.

I often refer to this love as “old shoe love.” It's wonderful in that it is comfortable. It fits just like it should. Yes, it sometimes needs to be cleaned up, to feel new again. But how?

Just like everything else of importance in your life, romance needs to be “on the radar screen.” It must be put on the “to-do list.” Sounds romantic, right? It's not as bad as it sounds.

Start by taking little steps. Talk with your partner about the importance romance has to both of you, about the importance to connect and re-connect. It may sound silly, and it very well might be a silly conversation, but it is important to discuss how each of you feels and about what each of you needs.

Work to show and receive affection. It is as simple as the smooch good-bye before one departs, or for no reason at all. It's holding hands, when you can. You may find that you simply feel more romance, more connection, through basic physical contact.

Put it on the schedule. Just like getting the chores done and tasks such as making the doctor appointment, you must schedule time to be together. It doesn't have to cost money or take more time in the day. You may need to think creatively. Romance comes from a few lit candles or from borrowing a movie from the local library. Snuggle up with a favorite treat and you have a homemade recipe for romance soon after you have put your children to bed for the evening. If you are not a night owl, consider a special lunch during naptime or even sipping a cup of java together in the early morning hours. However and whenever, make time to connect.

Take care of yourself and each other. One of the challenges we face is to continue to feel good about ourselves and also of each other. We all grow older, our bodies change, and we change. Through these changes, it is important to make the time to feel the best we can. This is mainly accomplished through diet and exercise.

Finally, be flexible, be spontaneous, and have a good sense of humor. Even with the best of romantic intentions, a young child in the house may derail plans. However, you are assured success, and a little romance, if you keep trying.


What do you think?

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

Tell us what you think!


  1. Lindsey says:

    Lately we have been setting time aside to have time together and it’s been great!

  2. Jules says:

    I know that ‘scheduling’ romance has been said a lot, but I think if anything, it’s not something that should be put on a calendar like other things. Just seems odd to put it on a check list- because then it doesn’t really seem like romance, it seems like a chore and that will in turn just make it less romantic and loving. I think some people may look at it and think “Oh yay! I get to spend tonight romantic with my spouse!” but others may be like “Ugh, tonights /this/ night?”. I think in some ways, it’s good to keep it on a ‘list’ but not a real one written on the calendar in the kitchen, but just, keep it in mind and make an effort to actually show love, even if like this article said, in small ways.

    My husband and I will hold hands in the car while driving somewhere, or walking to the store (if we can) and we hug each night and kiss after we part. We say “I love you” frequently. We tease and laugh and try to spend time together just watching tv or something after the baby has gone to bed. We don’t really have sex all that much… that’s all me though, he’s still a guy. lol. That libido takes awhile to come back… or something. I think I’m just too tired to think about it. But we are still close and I love him for taking care of our son on Saturday’s, so I can get one day to sleep in.

  3. mommy nhoj says:

    We kiss goodnight, we kiss goodbye as he goes to work. He knows I want to be hugged at night for me to sleep. I’ll scratch his back before he finally retire to bed. Things like these matters. We say I love you and mean it not just our of habit or obligation.

  4. Jessica says:

    I really like some of the ideas here. It is really important to make sure that both him and I are satisfied, romantically, and I love that my husband and I do take time during our days to connect! Even if it is just a kiss goodbye in the morning!

  5. shelia says:

    My husband helps me all the time with our baby. But I still don`t want to have sex all the time like he do. I think we just need time alone. We also have 2 more kids. It is just hard to get into having sex with a newborn, a 7 year old, and a 9 year old.

  6. Alanna says:

    My partner and I are still infatuated with each other but sometimes it does take a conscious effort to make sure we are both being satisfied in the relationship.

  7. Lynna says:

    ah, hopefully our lives wont get too hectic….love the love we share.

  8. Karleen says:

    Great article. My husband and I still have Date Night. We have a 2 1/2 yr and another baby on the way.

  9. Maytte says:

    One tactic for us we’ve scheduled a playful date night where at the end of the night we try something new in the bedroom, or elsewhere.

  10. Phammom says:

    Spending the minimum of an hour a week plus a extra day of romance a month will help.

  11. Maria says:

    My husband and I spend plenty of time together and we hold hands and talk and all that its the sex that’s the problem. He wants to and I really don’t and I don’t know what to do about it because its not fair to him when he helps me so much with the baby.

  12. Amanda says:

    I started worrying about this a few weeks ago. This article makes me feel better.

  13. Grace says:

    when my spouse is away our communication is actually better

  14. Grace says:

    are things any better?

  15. EbyMom says:

    this is a gud article cos most pple lose it when babies start coming. it is important to keep the love alive. there are so many ways to show love and try our best to look luvly.

  16. Sylvee says:

    Even though it can be a massive pain in the butt, I really have to thank my husband’s military service for the strength in our relationship. We’ve had to spend so much of our relationship away from each other that we were forced to learn how to communicate and show love for each other through letters. It’s taught us how to "fight properly." I love that we’ve found a level of communication and intimacy that can transcend the distances between us, whether that distance is an ocean or a baby!
    Admittedly, it’s been hard to find time to be a mommy and a wife, but nothing makes me happier than my happy little family!

  17. PrettyBoogs says:

    Saturday is usually our day. After baby we will have to rearrange and find something that works for us.

  18. Amy says:

    Connecting with your mate after birth is very important

  19. Anastacia113 says:

    Date night once a week even if we have to make it at 2 am, keeps the flame burning bright, even when we are both too tired to do anything but cuddle. 🙂

  20. I love spending so one on one time with my husband it brings back memories when we were dating 🙂 so lovely!

  21. My husband has a four hour lunch, right during our sons nap time, so while i would really like to take a nap or finally get to eat, i put it off till I’ve had my alone time with him, because I know a lot of the time he feels left out, the baby likes me cause as he says " I’ve got the boobies" that our son likes to cuddle with haha. my husband knows im exhausted and hungry which makes him feel all the more special when i wait till he gets his attention to see to myself.

  22. Janice says:

    I have never put my personal relations on a stop watch, or scheduled it in like the trash pick up or getting the tires rotated. If mechanical, plotted, worn out old shoes is all I will get, from the "relationship" I would rather take it out with trash.

  23. sheenaholman says:

    Romance has changed and we need to work on it more but our love for each other and our family grows each day!

  24. I hope that we never lose the romance…

  25. Evelyn says:

    I like the idea of taking little steps first. Great article!


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