Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!
You've been together for what seems like forever. You now have this wonderful little person in your life. Perhaps your lives are busier than ever before. Everything may be wonderful, but there may be a little something missing – “the flame.”
Remember those days when you couldn't keep your eyes and hands off of each other? They may have been those early days in the relationship when everything was new. Just because there is not that level of intimacy does not mean that the love isn't there. In fact, it probably runs deeper than ever. The challenge is taking time for a little romance. Sometimes romance is an easy thing to let go, forgetting about making time for each other.
I often refer to this love as “old shoe love.” It's wonderful in that it is comfortable. It fits just like it should. Yes, it sometimes needs to be cleaned up, to feel new again. But how?
Just like everything else of importance in your life, romance needs to be “on the radar screen.” It must be put on the “to-do list.” Sounds romantic, right? It's not as bad as it sounds.
Start by taking little steps. Talk with your partner about the importance romance has to both of you, about the importance to connect and re-connect. It may sound silly, and it very well might be a silly conversation, but it is important to discuss how each of you feels and about what each of you needs.
Work to show and receive affection. It is as simple as the smooch good-bye before one departs, or for no reason at all. It's holding hands, when you can. You may find that you simply feel more romance, more connection, through basic physical contact.
Put it on the schedule. Just like getting the chores done and tasks such as making the doctor appointment, you must schedule time to be together. It doesn't have to cost money or take more time in the day. You may need to think creatively. Romance comes from a few lit candles or from borrowing a movie from the local library. Snuggle up with a favorite treat and you have a homemade recipe for romance soon after you have put your children to bed for the evening. If you are not a night owl, consider a special lunch during naptime or even sipping a cup of java together in the early morning hours. However and whenever, make time to connect.
Take care of yourself and each other. One of the challenges we face is to continue to feel good about ourselves and also of each other. We all grow older, our bodies change, and we change. Through these changes, it is important to make the time to feel the best we can. This is mainly accomplished through diet and exercise.
Finally, be flexible, be spontaneous, and have a good sense of humor. Even with the best of romantic intentions, a young child in the house may derail plans. However, you are assured success, and a little romance, if you keep trying.