Dating as a Single Mother
If dating wasn’t difficult enough, you now have additional players on your team. Be warned: Dating as a single mother is an entirely different sport. After discussing this topic with numerous single parents back “playing the field,” I’ve put together a list of dating do’s and don’ts to help as you embark on this adventure. Take a look!
- Don’t begin dating too soon after divorce. Writers from the Single Parent Center website say that your family needs time to grieve and to “make sure [your children] are secure before you start bringing new people into the mix.”
- Don’t introduce your date to the children until you’re sure they’ll be around for a while. Once you find someone that you’d like to date more seriously, don’t jump the gun and introduce him or her to the children immediately. Protect your children. Remember that your children will feel the emotional and mental distraught that comes from a failed relationship.
- Do be honest. Tell your children where you are going, who you will be with, and do not hide your life from them (or from your date). It may be uncomfortable at times, but the end result will always be better than if you lie.
- Do ask the right questions. Don’t bombard your date with questions about the future (unless you want to quickly end a first date). Do ask questions about how their life. What is their family is like? How do they feel about children? Ask your children questions, too. How do they feel about mom dating? What does that mean to them?
- Do keep tabs on your common sense. Author Marion Winik says, “Keep your hormones in check when making decisions.” Enough said? Moving on…
- Do look at online dating sites for single parents. It seems the online dating sites are popular for single parents. The people you talk to are more likely to know what you’re going through and finding dates this way should alleviate the “by the way, I have kids” conversation.
- Do take care of yourself. Feeling great about yourself will increase your odds at successful dating! Website advice columnist and relationship expert Ask April stresses the importance of taking care of yourself post-divorce. Before throwing yourself out into the dating world, Ask April suggests treating yourself to massages, spending time with friends, or taking yoga classes.
- Don’t get discouraged. Dating is hard no matter who you are!