Connecting with Your Partner

Young couple enjoying a glass of wineSometimes when you’re pregnant, life becomes all about you and the baby. And that’s certainly okay! There are a million things to plan, worry about, and be excited about. In the midst of all this craziness, however, remember that taking care of your relationship should also be on the priority list. Here are a few ideas to help you keep connected with your partner when busy with pregnancy and impending parenthood.

Date night: Yes, it sounds cliché, and maybe you are one of those people who thought you’d never have to resort to scheduling time to have a date with your partner. But sometimes time gets away from us, and we need to put something on the calendar to ensure we stick with it. If you can’t commit to once a week, try twice a month. Go out to eat, catch a movie, see a play—just be together, no interruptions.

Inclusion with baby stuff: Many times partners feel a little left out when it comes to the baby. They aren’t privy to everything changing about your body and the fetus. Try to include them by sharing what you’re feeling. Invite your partner to doctor appointments. Go shopping together for nursery needs. Put your partner in charge of a few things—things they can do all alone. Maybe it’s decorating the baby’s room or building the crib. They could pick out a coming-home outfit or research pediatricians. Remind your partner that you are indeed partners.

Things-to-look-forward-to list: This one may seem a little goofy, but bear with me. My husband and I were excited to be parents, don’t get me wrong. But I also knew that he was nervous about how our life would change. I was too, but he felt a little less in the loop than me. We started a things-to-look-forward-to list and posted it on the fridge. We’d randomly throw things out anytime during the day or night and then put them on the list. “Halloween costumes! Shopping for school supplies!” It was a fun way to do something together that would remind us that the whole thing isn’t terrifying, and we both learned things about one another. For example, I had no idea that Ryan was so excited about introducing certain of his favorite childhood books to Norah. It was great fun.

Finally, the best way to stay connected with your partner is to keep the lines of communication open. Don’t keep your fear and worries to yourself. You’ll find that your partner probably has many of the same fears as you. And you don’t have to keep every conversation focused on the pregnancy, either! A regular, pre-pregnancy conversation is sometimes just what your relationship needs.

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Connecting with Your Partner

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14 comments

  1. mommy nhoj says:

    We had so many dates when I was pregnant. Now its hard to go out.

  2. Dario says:

    I like the post-it idea

  3. krivers says:

    My husband has been working long crazy hours lately, but with me having severe morning sickness has made a point of coming home and making us dinner so we can have that hour together, he can be sure I’m doing ok before he heads back out. We plan Sundays (yes which is today) for US, it is laundry day, a day to stay in jammies, veg together on the couch and just be together. We also talked about "AB" (after baby) how Sundays will not change, it will be family day, but Saturday nights will be date night for us. I think communication is key to success. I am very lucky to have this with my man and we promised each other we will continue it in writing even, so if one forgets the other can produce it and remind him or her 🙂

  4. emi285 says:

    It seems so hard for me to stay connected to my SO at the moment. One day we are fine, then next i want to punch him in the throat. Don’t get me wrong, I love him…but I guess I am more of a worrywart than he is? I see all these things that are wrong, and that need to be done, and that I want to talk about and he could care less one day, then be all about it the next. Maybe it’s the hormones talking/thinking for me but errrr lol.

  5. We have done great with communicating and having my husband involved…he’s been to all of the doctor’s appointments, helped decorate her room, and even picked out a few outfits for her, but I luv the advice in this article, because my problem is being too focused on the baby & the pregnancy. I’m sure my husband gets tired of talking about the pregnancy 24/7. That is definietly something that I need to work on. It’s easy to let it consume your every thought.

  6. Julie says:

    We haven’t had a lot of time to spend to ourselves.

  7. I love this article…My sister and her husband have a 9 month old son and I guess they think they never have time for just themselves…I explained to my sister that if she wants to put a little fire back into her life that they both need some time alone but its hard for them to find someone to whatch their boy bc he is so spoiled…I feel bad for them sometimes…I have a son and my fiance has a little girl so we know what its like to not have time to yourself…lol

  8. This is a good article 🙂

  9. marichinno says:

    Good article and this could help since my husband and I have 2 kids and one more on the way that it can get a little busy in life.

  10. McKenzie says:

    My fiance and I are always trying to find date nights for us cause we already have two kids a boy and a girl not only that we are expecting our third child so we try to keep the time with the kids planning for the baby and keep our romance alive

  11. nancyk says:

    What a great article! It didn’t have the usual cliche things – it was realistic advice. I love the tip about keeping a list of things to look forward to. I think that my husband and I will start doing that, but with a twist. We will let our 5 year old daughter add to the list of things that she looks forward to sharing with her new sister. Awesome ideas!

  12. adhouser says:

    Great article. I think that all too often spouses lose focus and attention on each other when a little one comes along. Both husband and wife need to remember where the love came from that created the beautiful little one!

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