You Don’t Have to Complain About Your Kids to Be a #RealMom

Every mom is guilty about complaining about her kids, her house, her husband, her job, or just the plain old gig that is motherhood, right? We think of it as part of the territory –“real” moms talk about how hard it is to be a mom. 

But mom of three and personal trainer Amanda Tress is having none of that. In a passionate Instagram post, Tress shared a perspective that might be seen as controversial in today's tell-all culture of parenthood, because well, she admits that she doesn't complain about motherhood and she doesn't want to. Not because motherhood isn't necessarily “hard,” but because she chooses to focus on the joys instead and to be intentional about what she presents to the world through her social media and online presence as well. 

Image via Instagram/ @amandatress

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“You don’t have to complain about your kids on social media to prove that you’re a real mom,” the successful business woman and mom wrote. “#Reallife overload doesn’t resonate with me … and it’s ok if it doesn’t (or does) resonate with you too. It’s OK to stay positive and there are ways to share your authentic voice without complaining. Doesn’t make you a better or worse person not to post a pic of your messy house. Doesn’t make you more or less relatable. I’m personally not going to consistently complain about my kids or my circumstance online. I don’t find it productive to complain and to be honest, there is a lot of joy in my life and a lot to be grateful for.”

Although Tress went on to admit that of course, her kids can be a “big pain in the butt,” in her mind, dwelling on the negative aspects of motherhood or the hard parts of her life is counter productive. It doesn't help matters and even worse, it could be putting negative things on the Internet that her kids might even come across some day and read. Tress even recently took her youngest member of the family, her infant daughter Lily with her on a business trip, and shared that although there were hard moments (because um, she's a baby), as a mom, Tress chose to focus on the positive aspects of her having her along instead. 

Tress also touched on the movement of #RealMoms as moms that look like complete messes, you know, with the messy buns and no showers and last night's makeup. To her, a #RealMom is a mom, period, whether she's post workout or heading out to a night on the town, but the difference is, you don't have to highlight one or the other as more “real.” 

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“Not complaining online doesn’t make me a good person, or a bad person — it’s simply my preference,” she continued. “I personally have more patience with my kids and run my business better when I have a clean house, take a minute to look decent, and to stay optimistic. Parenting isn’t depressing to me and being a mom doesn’t make me sad … Whether I’m dressed for church with my hair done and makeup on, or I’m a sweaty mess post workout — it’s still my #reallife. And I think BOTH can be relatable.” 


Tress ended her post by urging moms to give themselves permission to go against the grain of presenting motherhood as a miserable experience. “Let’s strive to be better across the board,” she said. “Happier, more energized, and optimistic if that’s your preference … Truthfully this is the happiest time of my life.” 

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What do you think? Is there too much emphasis on the negative aspects of motherhood? Do you wish you heard more uplifting accounts from #RealMoms? 

What do you think?

You Don’t Have to Complain About Your Kids to Be a #RealMom

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

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1 comment

  1. Maylon says:

    I agree with her! Sure, I see some moms complaining on Social Media, I just choose not to. I don’t even think that way though towards my child, unless he’s being a huge pain in the butt I just enjoy all the moments, good and bad. Soon to be adding another child to the mix so maybe that’s more stressful and my viewpoint might change, but I’m hoping not! I get to bring my son with me to work and consider myself extremely lucky! Sure it’s challenging at times but overall, I’m happier than I’ve ever been!


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