You Are a Good Mom, Too
Parenting is a big job, folks. It is one of the most important jobs we'll ever do and it can be one of the most challenging. When we're in the thick of it all, it can also seem like we're doing a less-than-stellar job or that we don't measure up to the other moms around us who seem to have it all figured out.
It's during these times that I often latch onto those people who have such a lovely way of bringing peace to that storm in my head made up of self-inflicted guilt, doubt, and anxiety when it comes to how I'm raising my three girls. I seek out words of wisdom or simply empathy and understanding – and in recent weeks I have found a few that have really resonated and, quite frankly, given me that little boost needed to get through what might have otherwise been a crummy day.
Because…I am a good mom. And, so are you.
Don't believe me? Read on.
Steve Weins a dad and pastor offered this & more when he wrote a post titled: To the Parents of Small Children: Let Me Be the One Who Says It Out Loud where he shares that his days with small children are often challenging and he how sometimes has “… no idea how I'm going to make it to bedtime.” He talks about how sometimes it can be hard to just “enjoy every moment” as those who have come before him in parenting often tell him. And with all those feelings and emotions we struggle with, he offers us this:
But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:
You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.
You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.
We live in a time when we can Google everything, share ideas and expose our children to amazing opportunities, but anyone that implies that they have it figured out is either drunk or lying (or both), so don't be too hard on yourself.
Just keepin' it real…as we all should.
Remember that Facebook, Instagram, and all of those other social media networks and blogs are simply the highlight reel of a person's life. They are not the full picture. For me, when I blog over at Moments that Define Life, I use it as a place to focus on the positives in my life, so I rarely share the negative. Or, if I do, I do so in a way that ponders how to make something good come out of it. It's just the way I do things in my little space in the world. But, that doesn't mean I have it all figured out. Quite the opposite. I'm often floundering, to be honest.
I blame the twins. They ate my brain cells when they were born.
Then there are lovely people like my friend Sara here at EverydayFamily, who writes on the many Phases of Parenting where she says:
Like everything else, there are spectacular days and there are barely-getting-by days. Both of them only last 24 hours and then they’re gone. So allow yourself and your children to be who you are today. Make your way the best you can. And love one another, no matter what. At the end of the day, that’s the only thing that lasts.
It’s these reminders that carry me through. It’s when I read the honest words of other parents, who are in the thick of it like me, that I realize I’m not alone, I’m not a failure, and my kids will be ok.
I’m not a bad mother. And neither are you.
How do you get through your own feelings of self-doubt?