Is the World too Scary of a Place to Bring More Babies In?
Just recently, as we anxiously scrolled the Paris news on our phones so as to not upset our kids, my husband and I had the conversation about what a scary world it was. And sometimes, I have to admit that I fear bringing even more babies into this world.
I don't want to let terror be a deciding factor of anything in my life, but the truth is, terrorism and hate and evil are very real and present in our lives today.
In a world where children practice shooting drills at school, when we have all watched in horror the unimaginable unfolding before our very eyes, when we have prayed and wondered why, it starts to feel like the world around us is our enemy.
I admit that, as a mother, I am tempted to hunker down and stay in our safe bubble at home. I want nothing more than to protect my babies, my most precious possessions.
I want to close my eyes against all the hate in the world and stay home all day, every day, like a mama bear protecting my cubs.
But then I start to realize that even that really isn't safe, is it? At any minute, our lives could end, our nightmares becoming our reality, our real life taking a turn into someone else's news.
Goodness, this is starting to get depressing to write. But really, my point is, in a world that seems to have gone bad, I can't help but wonder if it's wrong to have brought children into it. Have we been irresponsible, creating life and bringing into a world that doesn't promise safety or well-being, but only uncertainty and fear?
I have genuinely trembled in fear of my own, doubting, for the first time in my life, if we did the right thing by having children. What if we messed up, bringing kids into a world of global warming, of ISIS, of mass shootings at every turn? What if we have brought these kids into the world only to abandon them like, “Well, sorry, we made this mess and now it's yours to clean up”?
I don't know the answers, and part of me thinks that there will never be a clear answer. Parenting means accepting the big questions and the scary ones and the unimaginable ones and holding hands as we muddle through it together.
But deep down, when the world tries to tell me that I've made a mistake and this is wrong and life holds no gladness, I have to hold on to the one — that one glimmer of hope that tells me:
Love will always win.
Somehow, some way, holding these babies in my arms, laughing the relieved laugh of women everywhere who have just given birth, seeing the way a sibling hugs another, hearing the sounds of little giggles in the dark, I realize that children will never be a mistake in a world that seems too scary.
In fact, they are the only thing that makes the world a better place.