Why the Sex Talk With Kids Isn’t a One Time Thing

3. Don't Just Give Them Facts – Give Them Context

We went on with the conversation because I felt it was important to begin to give context to the conversation. We shared our family's faith and helped the kids understand that the physical act has emotional meaning and is something for committed relationships. We talked about the fact that animals are driven by hormones but humans can make wise choices for themselves. We also talked about the potential outcomes of creating a new family, and that it was something that should wait until you're ready for that level of responsibility.

If you want to see the rest of our personal family conversation you can read the whole thing on Untrained Housewife

Being able to put the questions and new information into a framework they already understood – our family – made it so the information wasn't as odd, frightening, or overwhelming to them.  It helped them understand that there was more than the physical aspect when it comes to these adult things. 

4. Don't Fill In What They Didn't Ask

We didn't go into graphic details about the act of sex. That just isn't age appropriate for some of my littles at this point. We focused on the importance of respect, being wise about the choices we have, etc. Later on when we DO go more in-depth with their education, they will have a good foundation of knowledge to build on. Just like with the point above, you can fill in the context with what their already familiar with in terms of family culture to make it easier to understand at younger ages. 

MORE: Let's Talk to Our Kids – About Sex}

Gradual conversations began when they were very young, of course, with privacy awareness (we call it “protecting our modesty”), body part names, even hygiene discussion and cleanliness and such. Each thing was taught as they seemed ready to learn and we didn't have to diagram or describe more than they were asking about. By the time breakfast was over they had probably forgotten about the conversation completely. Except the awareness that they can ask any question and I'll give an answer. 

5. Teach Practical Applications – Including Online Safety

Have you ever told your child not to search for those things on the internet? That if they have questions about private matters they are to come and ask you instead of searching online? Most parents haven't. 

In today's world kids know that Google is the way to find information. If they have a question, they can go online and find an answer. The problem, of course, with topics of a sexual nature is that the information they find can be hard-core, graphic, and skewed beyond what you want them exposed to. 

{ MORE: Keeping Younger Kids Safe Online }

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Teach them how to use the computer well. Teach them to search specific terms and phrases instead of single words that can lead them to unsavory results. Teach them to go to specific trusted educational websites and create bookmark folders for them. 

If you are not proactively teaching your child about these types of things, someone else is. Or they are trying to figure it out for themselves. When the top search terms for kids 8-12 include porn and sex, you cannot afford to wait until junior high to bring it up. 

Teach them to use their computers and smart phones with wisdom and fun! 

Have your kids asked questions that kept you on your parenting toes?

What do you think?

Why the Sex Talk With Kids Isn’t a One Time Thing

Angela England is a renaissance woman who doesn't let five children stop her from many pursuits, interests and tasks. Angela is a freelance writer, professional blogger, speaker, labor doula, massage therapist and can usually be found with a coffee nearby. Angela recently published her first book, Backyard Farming on an Acre (more or less) and has since published her first Untrained Housewife Guide - Getting Prepared. ... More

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