When You’re Content NOT Being Pregnant

Image via J & J Brusie Photography
Image via J & J Brusie Photography

 

The other day, I sat at my neighbor's kitchen table, sipping coffee with her while she told me all about her most recent doctor's appointment, where she and her husband had found out the sex of her baby. And I was so happy for her. But also? I was so happy to be–for once–the one who was not pregnant. 

In the past 5 1/2 years of my life, I have only spent a combined six months not pregnant or breastfeeding.

In the past 5 1/2 years of my life, I have only spent a combined six months not pregnant or breastfeeding. In fact, since my son quit nursing cold-turkey three months ago, I have been going on the single longest stretch of my married life where I have actually had my body all to myself. 

It's an odd feeling because, as my husband describes it, it has felt like just when we were starting to hit our stride, parenting-wise. But just when we would feel like we could breathe again, out of the new baby stage, another baby would come along.

Now, don't get me wrong—I love our kids and the crazy, wild ride that they've taken me on. I wouldn't change a thing, and I am so happy that our kids are all so close in age. (They are almost two years apart exactly.) 

But right now, I have to tell you there is a certain relief in being able to hold a newborn baby and not wishing for one myself. 

There is a certain relief in being able to hold a newborn baby and not wishing for one myself.

I often hear people talking about “being done” with having kids or feeling like their family is complete, and I wonder how they can be so sure. Is there a magic cut-off? How can someone know the right number of kids to have? What if there is a baby out there that is just meant to be welcomed into our family?

It's an incredibly hard decision, and unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer. Every family is different, and every parent is different. Some long for a full, overflowing family; others think that a two-child family is quite full.

As for me, it's hard to describe the peaceful feeling that has settled over me as I sit, content with our three young children, but also not shutting the door completely on growing our family in the future. 

ADVERTISEMENT

All I know is that I have felt a deep-down longing for each of our children—an emptiness in my womb. My arms ached to be filled with the sweet scent of a newborn, the excitement of the miracle of life that would overpower any sleepless night. It was as if my soul knew my children before they were even conceived. 

Right now, I simply feel content. 

I feel content to take a breath and enjoy my children and cherish these precious moments as they grow and change, seemingly every day. I can enjoy watching other mothers start their own families and delight in growing bellies and new babies without feeling the need to grow ours too. In many ways, I have become the mother I always thought I would be. 

And that's a good feeling to have. 

So for right now, I think I will just stay where I am, breathing in the babies who aren't really babies anymore, content to spend some time at this place in my life, soaking it all in and memorizing those cute moments that make up everyday. 

Oh, and can you do me a favor? If you find out I'm pregnant in a few months …

Please don't tell me, “I told you so.”

What do you think?

When You’re Content NOT Being Pregnant

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

Tell us what you think!

1 comment

  1. Melissa says:

    It’s odd that I should come across this article now & actually be able to relate. Here’s our story…

    I knew from the time I was younger that I wanted a big family — I guess by most people’s standards it would be considered huge. Anyway, when I met my husband, we were high school sweet hearts that married out of high school, I knew that my dream just might be in reach. I came from a family of 5 who loved the hustle & bustle of a large family & he was an only child who yearned for such. We have 7 children now & I’m due any day with #8 — our last.

    Well after everyone asking if were were done after pregnancy #3, #4, #5, etc. I asked my mother how would I know when it is time to ‘hang it up’ & her reply was always simple — you ‘just know’. Oddly enough, I never quite ‘got it’ until this pregnancy. I look at my family now, my eldest is 13 1/2 & our youngest, before the baby, is 3 1/2 & I’m content. I’m content to have our newest addition & to safely say that he is our last. It’s hard to explain, but overall, the only way to describe it is that it’s releaving. 🙂

Advertisement
[x]
×

EverydayFamily.com Week-by-Week Newsletter

Receive weekly updates on your pregnancy or new baby’s development as well as Free Stuff, Special Offers, Product Samples, Coupons, Checklists and Tools you can use today, and more from EverydayFamily! Plus all new members are entered to win FREE diapers for a year! Receive weekly updates on your pregnancy or new baby’s development as well as Free Stuff, Special Offers, Product Samples, Coupons, Checklists and Tools you can use today, and more from EverydayFamily! Plus all new members are entered to win FREE diapers for a year!

Due Date or Baby's Birth Date


By clicking the "Join Now" button you are agreeing to the terms of use and privacy policy.

Send this to a friend