What I Really Want For Mother’s Day
I haven’t spent any real time alone since 2000.
I’ve gone thirteen straight years having another human on me, near me, or actually inside of me.
When I think about it, I’m actually kind of afraid of what I might discover about myself if left alone with myself for an extended period of time.
I may not even like myself after all of this time!
But, that fear isn’t enough to make me not want the opportunity to try.
Uncharacteristically, my family came out and asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day this year. I so desperately wanted to say, “TO BE LEFT ALONE!”
Not time at the spa, not time to go shoe shopping (although throw in a gift card to actually buy some shoes and I’m there!), not time to catch a movie or reconnect with a friend.
Just me and my, um, me-ness. At home, probably somewhere in or around my bed, with a book, and my ear buds, and more than 15 minutes to think about my own self.
Nowhere to be. No plans to make. No practices to make it to. No butts to wipe. No dinners to cook. No dirty clothes to
But then, the guilt set in.
Because what kind of mother doesn’t want to spend all day with her family on Mother’s Day?!
Clearly the selfish, evil, bad kind, right?
So, instead I said, “We can do whatever you guys want.”
“We can do a baseball game again, or Hershey Park, like last year, or maybe you guys want to go, um, camping (please-don’t-pick-camping-I-hate-camping-I-will-cry-if-you-say-camping-please-don’t-pick-camping)?”
Only, I don’t want to do any of those things.
I want to take a nap. Alone.
I want to read my book. Alone.
I want to go in the bathroom and
poop brush my teeth. ALONE.
Or a pair of shoes. I’d probably be okay with that.
What do you really want for Mother's Day?
Image via Amanda Rodriguez