I Want Another Baby, but My Husband Doesn’t
A funny thing happens when you're busy birthing babies, pushing through sleepless nights, and changing diaper after diaper–
All of those “it goes by so quickly” admonitions that everyone tells you with a wistful shake of their heads suddenly become 100% true.
I had a grand plan for our childrearing years: After having three kids back to back to back, almost every two years to the day, I declared that we were on a baby break. My husband and I had hit our stride, so to speak — we were out of nighttime nursing sessions, everyone could walk and talk, and we even (gasp) had two kids that could buckle their own car seats. We were feeling pretty carefree. For the first time in six years, we were looking forward to a little bit more free time, maybe exploring some different career options, and heck, even doing something crazy like paying down some of our massive student-loan debts.
Yes sir, we were done having kids for a while. I wanted to give my body a much-needed break, take a breather, finally get back in shape, and then when we felt ready, cherish the heck out of our last baby.
I felt like I had gone through three pregnancies so quickly — and the resulting babies — that I was merely just surviving them, not really cherishing those moments or enjoying my pregnancies at all. I really, really wanted to savor every last moment of our “last” baby.
Can you guess what happened next?
Yup. You guessed it.
I got pregnant again, and we had our fourth baby almost exactly two years after our third, bringing the grand total to four kids in seven years.
My pregnancy was tough on me. Physically, I had some complications from polyhydramnios (that's me at only 35 weeks in the picture there — I was huuuge), and mentally, I struggled, too. I didn't feel ready to go through another pregnancy, let alone another baby, and I spent those nine months pretty fearful of what lay ahead.
Of course, everything turned out more than OK, and my daughter is a tremendous joy in our lives. She is the most easygoing baby to date, and her smile alone lights up our entire world. I am so, so thankful she is here.
But now that the whirlwind of my pregnancy with her, an induction at 37 weeks, and the newborn stage (she's 4 months old now!) are all over, I find myself right back to where I was before she happened along–
Wanting just one more pregnancy, one more baby, one more postpartum time when I have nothing to worry about save breathing in that delicious newborn scent.
I want what I wanted the first time around — to just really enjoy being pregnant for once and to soak up every last minute of babyhood without feeling like I was rushing through it all. And there's just one problem–
My husband doesn't want any more kids.
Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any good compromise on having kids. It's not like we can have half a kid, for instance. I have a feeling that, eventually, I will be able to make my husband come around, because, honestly, how can you say no to more love and baby smell in your life? But for right now, we find ourselves at a very strange place, with me wanting a baby and my husband saying “no way.”
So tell me — have you ever encountered this situation? How did you resolve it?