Toys”R”Us to Sponsor 87 Hours of Pure Mayhem

Image via iStock/danr13
Image via iStock/danr13

So, it’s that time of year again. No, I’m not referring to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or even Festivus (Seinfeld, anyone?). I am referring to that dark and dangerous week before Christmas.

Dark?

The holidays are upon us! Are you ready?

Well, it is pretty close to the winter solstice, and daylight savings ended a few weeks ago. But the week leading to Christmas gives a new meaning to a countdown.

So, “what,” you may ask, “does this last week involve that makes it so daunting?”

Oh, let me tell you.

It involves hunting for festive cookie recipes; it involves frantic searching for extra chairs to borrow for when the in-laws come over; it involves pacing the floor of the front room, hoping that the UPS truck will pull up with that whatchamacallit that you ordered on eBay a few days ago; and it involves the accursed last-minute shopping.

Did shivers run down your spine?

Then turn the heater up—it’s cold out!

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For all of you (and when I say “you,” I mean “us”) last-minute shoppers, there is good news and there is bad news.

The good news is that for those last-minute toy shoppers, Toys”R”Us was kind enough to open up its doors for 87 hours straight.

Yup. You’ve got from 6 a.m. this Saturday until 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve.

The bad news is that you will be entering the Roman Colosseum of toys, if you so choose to enter during those fateful hours. Maybe some of you would fare much better than I—I’m not the most aggressive person you’ll ever meet, so if there’s something that I desperately need to buy at 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve and a sleep-deprived mother threatens me with her purse that is jam-packed with year-old coupons, receipts, a change pouch, her Otter Box-covered phone, and lip gloss, I’d more than gladly hand it over and opt for a gift card. (Or those buttered Danish cookies. Who doesn’t like those cookies?)

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But for every one of me, there are two of the purse-wielding mothers. I feel that 87 straight hours of retailing is going to breed nothing but delirium, not only for the customers that cycle in and out of Toysarius R Ussicus (You know—the Roman version of Toys”R”Us. Roman Colosseum joke earlier? Get it? Never mind.)

Here’s a word from what I would like to think of as the wise: Get your shopping done NOW! Your sanity, your stress levels, and quite possibly the left side of your face depend on it.

What do you think?

Toys”R”Us to Sponsor 87 Hours of Pure Mayhem

Jace Whatcott is a self-diagnosed introvert who loves crossword puzzles, golf, and reading. Despite being a male contributor—one of the few on this particular website—he is not in unfamiliar territory. Because he is an English major, 90% of his classmates are females, so he’s not too worried about being a fish out of water. One of his favorite things to do is to raid local thrift stores for used books. He’s always looking for something to read, or for something to put on his endless to-r ... More

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1 comment

  1. Profile photo of Ian Ian says:

    I would rather just avoid the long lines in the store and shop online!

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