Too Old for Mom’s Kisses

mom and son
Image via Flickr/jikatu

We all know that children grow up.  Sadly, this fact never hits you quite as hard as it does when your child suddenly becomes embarrassed by your hugs, kisses, or hand-holding. They become too old for mom.  There is nothing in the child development books that warns us about this key moment in our parenting career.  In fact, the parenting books and advice seem to make us think that if we rock our infants, or sleep with our toddlers, or kiss too many boo-boo’s or help our kids too much – that they will never, ever do anything to break the heart strings that keep us so firmly attached.

Being a parent is such a delicate balance of letting go, and holding on.  We have to let go of the way things are, in order to gain the way things will be.

Here’s something you should know.  It WILL happen.  There will come a day when your child no longer wants you to walk him into school, where she won’t run into your arms after being apart, and when he will do everything in his power to wipe your warm kisses off his even warmer cheek.

When this happens (and it will) it is a bittersweet moment.  For one thing, it means that you have done your job well and that your children are now trustful of the world and confident in themselves to know that they don’t need you around for every little thing.  Sadly, it also means that it may be many more years (or at least until they are sick) before they leap onto your lap, ask you to lay down in bed with them, or give you a hug just because they want to feel close to you.  And lastly – it also means that when they DO display affection, and when they DO need you, and when they DO accept your sloppy smooches that you will appreciate those moments even more than you do now.

Being a parent is such a delicate balance of letting go, and holding on.  We have to let go of the way things are, in order to gain the way things will be.  Sometimes, this means giving up a few of the warm and fuzzy perks to parenting like good-bye kisses and rocking chair slumbers.  It can be painful, especially at first.  That being said, it’s in our children’s best interest that we give space lovingly when our kids ask for it – whilst remaining constantly waiting in the wings for those precious moment when they need us again.  Which, I promise you – they will.  

How old are your kids? Have you started to see these moments of independence with any of your children? 

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What do you think?

Too Old for Mom’s Kisses

Stef Daniel is the 40ish year old, experienced (meaning crazy already) mother of count ‘em…4 daughters (yes, she takes prayers) who have taught her nearly E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G she needs to know about raising kids and staying sane. She hails from a small town in Georgia where she lives with her family in a red tin roofed house (with just ONE bathroom mind you) on a farm - with tons of animals of course. One day, due to her sheer aversion to shoes and her immense lov ... More

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2 comments

  1. Sandy says:

    Well my son is getting to that where he is getting too old to be hugged or kissed in public by me,but doesn’t mind it when we are at home cause he knows that none of friends will see.My daughter not yet I would say yes in a few years.

  2. Phammom says:

    As hard as it is I believe giving them space is the best.

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