What Do You Tell Your Child About Their New Special Sibling?
The night before my scheduled c-section, I cried as I carried my daughter to her bed. This was her last night as an only child, and she had absolutely no idea.
Would she be able to handle the transition to big sister? Would it be difficult? Would she hate him? Would it scar her forever?
Clearly, I was overthinking things, as siblings have been born and integrated into families seamlessly for years, but, hey, I was an emotional, 40-week pregnant woman. I had a lot on my mind.
Initially, bringing him home was fine. As long as she could still watch her Peppa Pig in either my or her father's lap, she was content.
Then … things got crazy. Twelve days after bringing her brother home, he was rushed to the emergency room for rapid breathing. That was May 11, and he has been admitted at a children's hospital ever since, just now recovering from heart surgery.
So, our daughter's world was turned completely upside down; way more than I was originally worried about. And, now, her brother is going to come home with a scar from his hernia-like (don't ask!) repair, a port on his tummy for his implanted feeding tube since he no longer eats by mouth, and a huge scary scar on his chest.
What do I tell her?
Nothing. She's (nearly) 3-years-old, much too young to understand the medical complexities of her younger brother. Since she does grasp the concept of what her belly button is, we will probably explain to her that Jackson is special and has TWO belly buttons, and that's how he eats.
If I know my Sydney, she will probably drop her signature, “Sooo cuuuuute,” and that will be it.
As she gets older, and questions about his other medical anomalies arise, such as his small hand, we will sit her down and explain how Jackson might be differently made than how she was, but that doesn't make him odd. It makes him special and unique, just like all sweet babies.
She will handle the reintegration of her brother flawlessly, I know it. Everything we've had to deal with over the last few months has reminded me to not sweat the stuff, and introducing a sister to her brother? Definitely small stuff.