Stand Your Ground, Mama! 5 Things You Shouldn’t Budge On

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Image via Amanda Rodriguez

Being a mom is a lot about sacrifice: giving up “me” time to go to 8 a.m. football games, spending the money you saved for that cute clutch you saw at DSW for light-up character shoes you actually kinda hate, rescheduling your pedicure, and living with scaly feet for another weekend to stay home and hold your son's hair back while he barfs straight up until you pay the $75 co-pay at urgent care, at which point he's miraculously healed.

So, yeah, it's OK for you to require that your mother-in-law never, ever give your child a ring pop. She'll probably trash talk you a little behind your back, but that was maybe gonna happen anyway.

Often, even when it's not really necessary, you do it out of guilt. Love mostly, but guilt, too.

As someone who has fallen victim to all of these things and more, I know how tough it can be to fight the power — to stand your ground on things, even if they do seem small.

As wishy washy as I can be when it comes to sacrificing my own time and money for the sake of the Dudes, there are some things I won't budge on — even if my mama says I should, (OK, I lie. I basically always listen to my mama even if I pretend like I'm not going to; I totally do it later), even if other moms will judge me, even if it means I can't eat chocolate in secret ever again.

OK, maybe not that last one. I won't give up chocolate for anything.

5 Things It's OK to Stand Your Ground On:

Image via Flickr/ Daddy-David

Deciding to breast feed your child … or not. This is one of those hot topics that everyone — those with and those without boobs of their own — seems to have an opinion on. Even within the mom group, there remains a lot of disagreement over whether people who nurse their children are better mothers and, in fact, better humans, than those that don't. As if you can't be an awesome mom if you don't feed your baby human from your own body. 


Regardless of what you decide, nursing is an emotional journey and a major commitment. It requires you to give up certain parts of yourself, and it physically, financially, medically, and logistically may not be possible or healthy or good for you. Don't let people who hate on you for whichever choice you make on this get you down … or change your mind … or make you feel even the tiniest bit guilty for how you get your baby's belly filled.

After all, they're your boobies.

Image via Flickr/IowaPolitics
Image via Flickr/ IowaPolitics

Homeschooling. Personally, I would never, but does that mean I get to to determine whether or not you should? Nope! It's fine with me if you want to keep your kid home so they don't have to interact with the TV-watching goons that go to public school: your kids, your choice. 

As long as you make it a point to teach your kid to read and write and do arithmetic so that my TV-watching goons don't have to support them one day, you should be allowed to educate your children as you see fit.


Image via Amanda Rodriguez
Image via Amanda Rodriguez

Being a stay-at-home mom. There was a time when being a working mom was the thing people frowned upon. Now, I feel like being a stay-at-home mom gets just as much flak — like you only choose to stay home because you aren't smart enough, ambitious enough, or energetic enough to take care of your kids and rock your workplace simultaneously. 

It couldn't be because you have a sweet sugar daddy at home and don’t need to work sincerely like your kids more than you ever liked any other thing in your life. You're fulfilled by their existence, and you have the financial means to enjoy them without needing to commit to another career. 

Duh, of course it could. 

And feeling like life as a SAHM completes you doesn't make you dumb, unambitious, or lazy — probably just the opposite!


Image via Flickr/ljokhio
Image via Flickr/ ljokhio

Eating healthy. Or vegan. Or vegetarian. Or meat-etarian. Or whatever you decide is the best nutritional source for you and your family. What you put in your body makes a difference: it affects your health, your mood, your body, your mind. Heck, it may even determine whether or not you get a good night's sleep tonight.

So, yeah, it's OK for you to require that your mother-in-law never, ever give your child a ring pop. She'll probably trash talk you a little behind your back, but that was maybe gonna happen anyway.


Gender-role stuff. If you want to let your son rock a tutu to preschool because he's been begging to do so for the past three weeks straight, then let your son rock his tutu. People are pretty vocal about this type of thing, and you should prepare your child to be judged. Give him some fighting words (smart ones) and the confidence to stand up and say that tulle just feels better. 

{ MORE: How to Deal with a Mother In Law That Drives You Crazy }

What are the issues that you stand your ground on? 

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Stand Your Ground, Mama! 5 Things You Shouldn’t Budge On

Amanda has been wowing the Internet since 2008 when she launched her pretty-much-useless guide for parents, parenting BY dummies. As it turns out, her parenting advice is not generally useful for more than a good laugh, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need! Amanda spends her offline time (which is embarrassingly limited) running a photography business, working as a social media director for a local magazine, writing freelance articles about stuff she loves, wrangling her 3 little Dudes ... More

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1 comment

  1. Valari says:

    Hand washing and “kisses toes instead of noses, when younger children meet my son. He is but two months older..These 2 year olds to-school age children interact and pass cold germs back and forth. Its the season and I won’t take any changes where I don’t need to.


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