Single Man Becomes Father Using Donor Egg and Surrogacy

single father, surrogacy
Image via Flickr/Gabi Menashe

 

Louis DeFilippi is what we would call a “single dad” for lack of a better word. He is a father raising his daughter alone but that term does not do his story justice. His  “single” father life was no accident, he chose to be a father because he wanted a child, even if he didn’t have the partner. He chose surrogacy. We’ve seen an upswing in this type of parenthood from single women but it is seldom seen in men.

His  “single” father life was no accident, he chose to be a father because he wanted a child, even if he didn’t have the partner. He chose surrogacy.

In 2003, Louis DeFilippi, at the age of 54, realized after his second wife sent him a Dear John letter that his lifelong dream of becoming a dad was slipping away. Louis is not the sort to let someone else steal his dreams. He’s a pioneer and he wanted a child to love and pass along his traditions to. He knew that the chances of finding a partner, building a relationship and getting pregnant was going to take a long time and be an arduous task. He decided to go a non-traditional route; a donor egg and surrogacy. Where there is a will, there is always a way.

DeFilippi sought the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist, who had up to that point, never worked with a single man. Let’s be honest, it’s not something you expect or see every day. The doctor used DeFilippi’s sperm, a donor egg and an unrelated gestational surrogate to carry the pregnancy. In 2006, Anna DeFilippi was born 2 months prematurely weighing 2 pounds and 11 ounces. He held her for the first time when she was 90 seconds old and has called her the best decision he has ever made.

Throughout the pregnancy the surrogate, Janene Brickey, always welcomed DeFilippi’s involvement in the pregnancy and he was involved from the beginning. DeFilippi is raising his little girl on his own. She knows that she has no mother but she does have an “Aunt Nene” who is involved in the little girls life. She even stays the weekend with her surrogate on occasion but they are all clear that Janene was the surrogate and is not her mother but still it is nice to have that female presence in his daughter’s life.

This is not the typical route to fatherhood but DeFilippi came to it honestly. He knew what he wanted and he made it happen. How many of us spend our life hanging our happiness on someone else? Life is too short to spend your life disappointed and unfulfilled. In my book, Anna DeFilippi may not have a “mother” per se but she is certainly not lacking in parental love and devotion.

What do you think of single men using a donor egg and surrogate to have a child?

What do you think?

Single Man Becomes Father Using Donor Egg and Surrogacy

Deborah Cruz, @TruthfulMommy, is the creator of The TRUTH about Motherhood, an often humorous and brutally honest look at motherhood. She's a writer, a wife, and a work-at-home Mommy who's trying to do it all well. She live in the Midwest with her 2 little girls and her husband. She has a lot of degrees from a bunch of schools but mostly spends her days shuttling people under the age of 7, while trying to maintain her sanity and she wouldn't have it any other way. She talks a lot. She ... More

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1 comment

  1. Phammom says:

    Good for him. There are women who do this why not a man.

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