Should Twins Be Dressed Alike?

Should Twins Be Dressed Alike? Picture

As a mother of twins, I find it irritating every time I see twins out with their parents that are dressed completely alike. 

There is a set of twins I know, that have grown up dressing like someone else (their sister) since the time they were born. And now, that they are in middle school – and still dressing alike under their mother’s orders, it is a bit CREEPY. Even worse, is the fact that the two girls admit that they have to decide TOGETHER every day which outfit they will wear. And they hate it! 

Of course, these two girls are identical twins. They are difficult to tell apart wearing different clothes, and they have become so accustomed to being called the other twins name, that they automatically answer to either. My twins are not identical. In fact, one teacher that they both had all year long didn’t realize they were even sisters, let alone twins – until the last day of school of this year. (Which is sort of scary considering this person taught my kids). 

Everywhere I go though, I see twin moms that are so obsessed with the twin-ship, that they dress their children alike ALL THE TIME. They buy two outfits of everything, two pairs of shoes, identical hair bows.  And look, admittedly it’s cute when they are babies and toddlers – or for the family picture or special occasion. But as a rule of thumb, not so much (plus, I wonder if it’s even healthy).

Once these kids get to school, the whole ‘capitalizing on twindom’ thing seems a tad shallow and a sheer plot for a mama to gain some attention for herself. 

My twins are teens, and they have some pretty firm beliefs on dressing twins alike because they know firsthand what it is like to be a twin. And according to them, it’s not always as easy, or as fun as it is cracked up to be. In fact, according to my ‘twin experts’ it can be downright difficult and annoying – only made worse when parents try to create this whole ‘double trouble’ mirage for the world – as they strive to be seen as an individual in their life. 

There is already so much fanfare and misconceptions surrounding multiple births that young children have to deal with. Being forced to dress alike, well that’s one that can be avoided. 

What do you think? Should moms dress their twins alike? Is there an age when it is no longer cute, and simply an outcry for maternal attention?


What do you think?

Should Twins Be Dressed Alike?

Stef Daniel is the 40ish year old, experienced (meaning crazy already) mother of count ‘em…4 daughters (yes, she takes prayers) who have taught her nearly E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G she needs to know about raising kids and staying sane. She hails from a small town in Georgia where she lives with her family in a red tin roofed house (with just ONE bathroom mind you) on a farm - with tons of animals of course. One day, due to her sheer aversion to shoes and her immense lov ... More

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  1. ChelsRob says:

    Dressing twins alike is fine at a young age, but the choice is theirs if they want to dress the same or not. My 6 year old girls love wearing matching dresses because they feel they are special because they are twins. Disagree about moms wanting attention, moms of twins get stopped all the time and asked the same five questions about their twins.

  2. Raechelle says:

    I have 13 mo fraternal twin boys. I don’t dress them in matching outfits, but I’ll often dress them similar. For example, if Ethan is wearing Batman, Daniel is wearing Super Man. Their father and I even deliberately picked names that were completely different. I’m not into the whole matchy-match thing. I firmly believe that they are their own person and should be dressed accordingly. I will swap their clothes a lot. But since they share a room, I keep all of their clothes in one place so there is no “Danny’s clothes” and “Ethan’s clothes”. They are all “Danny and Ethan’s clothes”. The only time they didn’t (and don’t) share clothes is when Daniel outgrown them before Ethan since he’s always been a little bigger.

  3. nydia rivera says:

    I think dress them as individuals! It’s also wasteful to buy two of everything, think of laundry!

  4. april says:

    I am expecting identical twins not sure of their sex yet but I am going to be one of the few moms that will be dressing them differently such as different colors or styles but it wont be same. Reason is that I can already feel the difference in them one is more outgoing (kicks way more) than the other one. So I already know that they will have different personality styles and will try to dress them accordingly. Same way I did my daughter. People wanted me to dress her a certain way but I went by her personality instead. But that’s just me. To each his/her own. 🙂

  5. Foxin3ss says:

    I would only do it during the first 2 years… After that I would have to start dressing them differently to give them their own identity!

  6. heather says:

    If the kids are okay with dressing alike (or too young to care), let them. But when they start to object, it’s time to listen. And if you’re taking them to daycare/school, some won’t LET you dress them alike because they want to be certain which is which. You might know your twins so well you’d never mix them up, even dressed alike, but most of the world doesn’t, and it can be confusing!

  7. Carol says:

    I think it’s okay to dress them alike, as long as they want to. When they don’t, then don’t enforce. 🙂

  8. Amy says:

    It’s cute from birth to the teen yrs, but I think as a parent you need to listen for when your twins want to become individual’s and have their own take on what they want to wear.

  9. tammy says:

    If they want to…. don’t force them :/

  10. Tamara says:

    I think there’s a little misunderstanding when it comes to the reasons why mothers may dress their twins alike. For me it was always that I felt guilty because when I really ADORED an outfit, i hated to buy the other one another outfit that i didn’t like as much, I felt like I was dressing one nicer than the other for the sake of making them different. So I dressed them the same so that I felt like I was being fair. Now they are older, and If they don’t want to wear the same thing they don’t have to, if one likes something, and the other likes another, I’ll buy what they want. Or they swap, or sometimes they want to be the same. I think simple things like dressing kids alike can be read too much into. Also people can tell they are twins no matter what they wear, and still call them "the twins" or "double trouble", I think that’s more of a problem then what they wear.

  11. Mama-Yaya says:

    I think it’s cute but there’s always a point when it can become too much. Even though they are twins, they are still individuals and sometimes it’s difficult for others to acknowledge this if they are always dressed the same.

  12. Heather says:

    I think it’s fine to dress twins alike, as long as they are given the option to dress differently as they get older. I grew up with a set of twin boys, one of them wore blue a lot & the other wore matching outfits in a different color (red or green usually). Because they looked soo much alike to those who weren’t very close to them it actually helped many people keep them straight…they knew Jared would typically be in blue & Jordan would be matching, but in another color. This stopped shortly after they started elementary school. They still dress similar to this day, 17 years later, but not matching. They are both very into basketball & tend to dress very athletically a lot, but they do have their own individual sense of style. Dressing similar when they were younger definitely didn’t do any harm, and it was absolutely adorable in my opinion.

    Alhough I do think it’s adorable to dress twins alike or similar when they are young, i don’t agree with dressing kids exactly alike as they get older, unless they decide that they want to… Twins should be allowed their own individuality, they already look exactly like someone else, they should be allowed to cut their hair & dress how they want to.

  13. Mignon says:

    I have a twin sister and thankfully my mom always insisted that we were individuals and dressed us differently. So many people would comment and say things like "why don’t you dress them alike, it’s so cute!"and I’m SO grateful that she didn’t. She encouraged us to each be our own person and maintain our individuality and each develop our own style. I think dressing your kids alike is the dumbest thing you can do to your kids. What’s just as bad as when mothers dress their kids the same when they aren’t even the same age…creepy!

  14. When my twins were younger I always dressed them alike. When they were 6, they let me know that it was time to stop. I think it’s cute to "twin" them but I did it because it was convenient…If I found an outfit or pair of shoes I thought would be cute on them…I’d get two and be done with my shopping….but I didn’t have a problem when they wanted to stop dressing alike…actually, I thought the ability to express their individuality was cute…they were growing up!!!

  15. sj montgom says:

    my sister and i are 3 years apart and i remeber my mom buying us similar, if not the same outfit. my sister and i were regularly mistaken for twins, but we enjoyed dressing alike. we live together now and still dress similarly without consulting each other. i don’t think that impacted our sense of self or identity. At the end of the day, it’s nice to know there is someone like you who shares your common interests. i dress my baby boy in the same colors as me and its cute, plus it helps cut down on seperate laundry loads.

  16. Jazmyn says:

    I am a mother of four children. My daughter is 7, my oldest son is 3, and my fraternal twin boys are 18 months. Most of the time I dress my twins in similar outfits but different colors. Occasionally, someone will buy the same outfit for them and I will put that outfit on them (it’s cute). Because my twins are fraternal it is obvious they have their own identity. Sometimes people don’t even realize they are twins. I completely agree that twins need to be treated as individuals however their twinship should be special, too. Having twins dress the same, day in and day out, is ridiculous but on occasion it is adorable.

  17. AnnaBooth says:

    I am a mother of 5 two in which are nonidentical twins. We do dress them alike from time to time, but they have such different personality’s that we allow them to chose what they wear. Sometimes they pick the same things sometimes fully different. I think it should be left to the child what they wear as long as its appropriate.

  18. tonjatjmom says:

    I too think it is a parents choice. I also think the parent needs to listen to the twins when they ask for their individuality. Their feelings should be a BIG part of the dress alike thing. My daughters are nine yrs apart, when the baby was little, big sister liked to dress alike. Then that all changed when big sister became a teenager. So, let the kids have a voice. But also enjoy your twins and the dress alike thing, they are so very cute . People need to remember no two parents parent alike. In todays world. It’s all CHOICES!!!!!

  19. Rachel says:

    I think moms should do what they want. I put my child in timeout in the store and people stare at me, but I don’t care because it is my discipline technique. I think twins look cute dressed alike, but they would look cute dressed different also. I don’t think we should judge others for what they choose to do with their children. There are a lot of things that impact a child’s life and dressing the same as a sister/brother may or may not be one of these things.

  20. Jess says:

    I am a mother of fraternal twin boys. From day one i have stated i didn’t want to dress them exactly the same. But my husband on the other hand loves it. And insists when we go shopping that we get matching clothes. Because he thinks the other twin will feel cheated if he doesn’t get the exact same thing his brother got…its crazy. They are 20 mo…the only thing they fight about are toys. I try and stand my ground and let them be inindividuals, until husband gives me dirty looks.

  21. Valerie says:

    Ok… twins should be different in every aspect even if they are identical. I would not be surprised they get confused and have further issues in their teenage or adult age… We always tell our children how to stand out and confirm their personality… why should mummies play with their children as they were dolls… yes, childwood for them should be over by far when they are mothers.

  22. Tomie says:

    I personally think isn’t cute at any age to dress twins alike they are different in every aspect even if they are identical and if you don’t treat them like that then when they get older they will hate their childhood and will be confused about who they are and how they should dress and that’s the last thing that children should go through as adults

  23. Stephanie says:

    Sometimes its the twins choice. I was doing costume design for a middle school student production that had a pair of twins that always dressed the same (of course, their school had a uniform so it wasn’t that notable). They were ensemble characters and I thought they might be excited to wear different outfits. Nope! They told ME that they needed to be wearing the same thing – if possible. I shrugged and obliged (there was no reason they couldn’t). So I don’t think its fair to automatically judge the mom if you don’t know the kids in question.

  24. I have four year old identical twin boys as babies I dressed them the same, I think it was cute. I mainly dressed them in similar clothes do family could tell them apart. The nurses in the hospital started twin b in a blue beanie and it started from there. I also keep there hair styles different one long and the other short. Around three in a half they started voicing their own opinion one wanted the shirt brother had and wanted his hair short too. Forcing them to wear the same is not right they are different. There are days they want to wear the same shirt just to confuse grandma on purpose. Even has babies I could see the difference in personalities it’s amazing to watch them grow and change.

  25. Jeopardy says:

    My nine year old loves wearing things that go with her little sisters outfit or coordinate (big sister/little sister shirts) but then again they are eight years apart and they don’t have the same face, I think if you had identical twins that it’s important to dress them different so they develop their own tastes. What if one is a tomboy and one is a prissy girl? You are either going to have some very dirty princess dresses or you are going to have to give in to the fact that one loves jeans while the other loves poofy dresses. I say let them be themselves.

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