The Secret to Motherhood? Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
In early motherhood, when the days and nights stretch endlessly into one another and it can seem like days and weeks pass without doing anything more than nursing, changing, and rocking the baby, first-time mothers often wonder if it will be this hard forever. When they ask other moms, ones with older kids or kids who have grown all the way up, they often tell them to cherish the time as it passes so quickly, rather than sharing their authentic experience of motherhood through the years.
When seasoned moms get honest about what their experience of motherhood has been, they often share one resounding truth: that motherhood doesn't get easier but that you become better at doing it, even though it’s hard.
The tough part about raising babies and kids is that, as soon as you get good at something, like swaddling or nursing or scaring away nighttime monsters, your little one has likely almost grown out of needing you to do it for them. They’ve also probably grown into needing you to do something else, something new and unfamiliar and just as hard. And then you learn the new thing, and your child outgrows needing it, and then they need something else and you have to start all over again, over and over and over.
At first, in the early weeks and months and years this learning and relearning of new skills can feel so overwhelming. It can also make moms feel like they just don't know how to be a good mom. After all, there’s always something new to learn. As the years pass, though, and moms begin to realize that it’s not that they’re bad at parenting, rather that every parent everywhere is constantly having to learn to things, they often settle into some comfort around not knowing what they’re doing at any given moment.
It’s this: The comfort with being uncomfortable and the willingness to learn new things over and over again that makes motherhood begin to feel at least a little bit easier. So, to all the new moms out there: yes, it will be this hard forever but, as time passes, I promise it won’t feel so hard and, the sooner you get comfortable with being uncomfortable, the sooner you’ll begin to realize how great you are at being a mom. Oh, and be sure to enjoy it, the time passes so fast.