Second Pregnancy Worries Are Normal

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Image via Flickr/ ben_grey

Honestly, for the entire first trimester of this (completely unplanned!) pregnancy, I would go days before suddenly remembering I was pregnant. This usually happened while I was making my daughter breakfast. I soon learned that her occasional request for scrambled eggs was a great way for the tiny nugget in my tummy to say, “Hey! I’m still here!”

That’s just one simple example of how different this pregnancy is from my first. There wasn’t a moment that passed during those nine months when my brain wasn’t thinking, “OHMYGOSH, I’m pregnant!”

Once I began getting the hint of a pregnancy bulge, however, the fact that I was pregnant kicked my brain into high gear, and I began to worry—and these were completely different worries than the ones I had with my daughter. I already knew what I was in for with a newborn: no sleep, non-stop crying, and the knowledge that I would be walking around doing my best zombie impression. I was prepared for that.

{ MORE: Will Your Only Child Accept The New Baby? }

Yet, there are so many new things to freak out about the second time around.

How in the world will I handle two kids?

When naptime finally rolls around, I can barely contain my excitement. It’s unbelievable the amount of energy that toddlers are able to contain in their tiny little bodies, and how little energy I find myself having these days, even without the eight-month pregnant belly weighing me down. The image of feeding the baby while simultaneously trying to prevent my toddler from carrying the dog bowl down the hallway so she can feed her plush puppies makes me break out into a cold sweat. One of me, two of them. We really didn’t think this through, did we?

How in the world will I handle everything else?

In those rare moments when my daughter is sleeping, or otherwise engaged in her own little world, that’s when I make my escape. I sneak a load of laundry in, or I quickly unload the dishwasher. Or, time willing, I actually use the restroom in peace. Presumably, those tiny moments will now be taken up by my second child. When will anything happen? When will the house not look like a pigpen? When will the mountains of laundry make it back to their rightful place in our closets? More importantly, when will I be able to use the restroom!?

{ MORE: 3 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me about a Second Pregnancy }

How will my family adjust to the change?

For the last two-and-a-half years, we have adjusted very well to being a family of three. Everyone has their roles, and our daughter enjoys being the center of attention. But in just 10 weeks (oh my…), that dynamic will be completely flipped around. Suddenly, there’s going to be a new member of the family, and while I know we will happily make the room, it’s scary to think about how different everything will have to be. Will our oldest embrace being a sister, or will she feel pushed aside? Since my husband was deployed for the first two months of our daughter’s life, how will he react to a newborn? Can I give enough love to everyone?

Stepping back from the ledge of insanity, I realize that women have been having more than one baby since the beginning of time, and clearly, it wasn’t the end of the world. Being pregnant is usually accompanied by fears and concerns about the future. It’s interesting to see how they change from the first baby to the second … Or third. Or fourth—if you’re really brave.

I’m definitely not!

Did your fears change from your first pregnancy to your second?

What do you think?

Second Pregnancy Worries Are Normal

Rachel is a stay-at-home-mom to her 4-year-old daughter, Sydney, and her 18-month-old son, Jackson. Her writing can be found all over the web, mostly detailing her own parenting struggles and triumphs, as well as her life as the military spouse of an active-duty airman. She also writes about her life as as a special needs parent on her blog, Tales From the Plastic Crib, and spends an unnecessary amount of time on Twitter. ... More

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5 comments

  1. Profile photo of Karyn Karyn says:

    Typo- she is now 2 1/2 years old, not months!

  2. Profile photo of Karyn Karyn says:

    I hope this will relieve some worries (I skimmed the other comments and it looked like everyone else was still at only #1). I have 2 and often it actually seems easier. I had my son when my daughter was 22 months old, and he is now 8 months old, she is 2 1/2 months now. Granted, I had major hyperemesis during my pregnancy, so after 9 months of that with a very active toddler, having a newborn and not feeling sick anymore did seem easier. When I read the part about the author forgetting she was pregnant for days in the beginning, I laughed out loud, because that definitely never happened with me. Everyone’s experience will be different because all children are different, but mine usually get along wonderfully and are already playing together. My daughter wasn’t jealous at all. She started potty training when she was about 17 months so by the time I had my son I didn’t have to worry about changing her diapers too, so if you can manage that, I recommend it. We have no family living near us and my husband is also in the military (reserves) in addition to working full time, so I am not saying things are always easy (when he is on duty or studying for a test we are both working 12 days straight, not just him, because I don’t get a day off either). This spring he has to go away for a 2 weeks, but it actually makes me feel better that I have 2 rather than just one. My daughter is actually very helpful with her brother, bringing me a diaper when I need to change him, letting the dog in or out while I am nursing, etc. They share a room, and while that can have it’s challenges when one wakes the other, they also both find comfort in the other being there. There is no reason to worry until you have reason to worry. Although, I understand, during pregnancy most of us are not in our right brain and looking for something to worry about. 🙂

  3. Profile photo of mommy nhoj mommy nhoj says:

    Each month we would wonder if I’m pregnant and hope that I am not. We have a 10-month old baby and there’s no way I could use birth control pills considering my health condition. Aside from the worries that you’ve mentioned above, I also think if my body can handle another pregnancy. It is like I cannot have the license to get pregnant without the go signal of my doctor. That actually applies even on my first pregnancy that we go abd procreate without dealing seriously with my doctor’s advice. We want another one, actually we both want 3 kids. It’s my age and health concerns that bother us most! And at one point, I would think that if I get pregnant soon I wouldn’t be able to go back to work next year. Too many concerns even before pregnancy. But we often remind each other to treat my second pregnancy fairly.

  4. Profile photo of Miranda Miranda says:

    I am so relieved to read this. I have had a ton of worries about this second pregnancy that I didn’t face or at least don’t recall facing esp to the extent I feel them now. I feel like my first pregnancy was nothing but bliss. This pregnancy has been a roller coaster of emotions, fears, stress, and anxiety about everything. I have a five year old son already and our new bundle of joy is due june 2nd 2014 and it’s a boy. I am a little nervous about my five year old being a bit rough as he is, he is all boy so rough is natural to him. Just recently he pushed real hard on my belly and he was talked to by both myself and my fiance. My fiance is more worried about my son with our second child and I’m a little nervous it is because my son is not biologically his, altho he’s been there for both of us since I was pregnant for my first son. I also found out that the father of my son is expecting a daughter in June or July this year as well but they don’t talk to my son about babies, his new sibling or anything.

  5. Profile photo of samantha samantha says:

    Im 10 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. im scared that my son will be to rough with the new baby, my husband works a full time job and i hardly see him at all now. my son is very hyperactive as it is now im hoping to have another boy because there is less frilly tutu stuff and i think my son needs a little brother to play superhero with. ive told my almost 3 year old about the baby and when i ask him where his baby is he will lift up my shirt and take my hand and place it on my baby bump. When i ask him to give his baby kisses he will put both his hands and put them on my tummy and give my tummy kisses but im wondering if he is just copying my husband or if he really knows. Im scared that my son will hurt the new baby he hits and bites everyone that comes into our hose as it is i just dont want my baby to get hurt. I dont want to have to separate my children.

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