The Scary Mommy Confessional Vault Has Saved My Life as a Mom

There are so many times as a mother that I have thought that I was completely and totally alone. I've thought that, surely, what I was experiencing was something that no one else in the history of motherhood had ever experienced.

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Except, of course, I was never really and truly alone. And whatever I had experienced, someone else had experienced many times before. There are a lot of truths about motherhood that some of us prefer to keep hidden, in the shadows, where no one else can find them. But sometimes, speaking our truth makes it a heck of a lot less scary. And speaking our own truths–no matter how dark they seem to be–can help show other people that they aren't alone. Which is exactly where a little thing called the Scary Mommy Confessional comes in handy. 

If you're not familiar with the Scary Mommy confessional, here's the scoop. It's an anonymous confessional online “vault” made up entirely of confessions from moms, dads, and even non-parents from across the world. People type in their confessions using an online form and the submissions are completely anonymous. Instead of a name, each confession is assigned a number, which the confessor can use to keep track of their own confession if they would like. (I'm assuming, to see how many “hugs” or “me too's!” the confession gets. Because again, we all like to know we aren't alone, right?) 

And if you're wondering how anonymous those confessions really are, they're pretty darn iron-clad. I once interviewed the Scary Mommy founder, Jill Smoker. She assured me that the confessions in the Scary Mommy confessional really are 100% anonymous. They've even had some rather frightening confessions and even then, they are still anonymous and confidential. That is to say, in case you're feeling the urge to confess something truly shocking, you're totally good, my friends. 

scary mommy
Image via Unsplash/ william glen

The Scary Mommy Confessional has become my guilty pleasure of motherhood, simply because it really highlights how so many of the fears, doubts, and hardships I have had as a mom, are the same fears, doubts, and hardships shared by other moms too. I don't recall exactly how I came across my secret weapon in the hard parts of motherhood. But I do know that I have spent many a late hour nursing a baby and scrolling through the confessional on my phone. And honestly? Those confessions saved me. 

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I've read everything from confessions of moms who hate having sex with their husbands to moms who love being a stay-at-home mom. Moms who love working and moms who need to drink to get through cooking dinner. Moms who have children with special needs and moms who truly and honestly hate motherhood. If you have thought it at any point in time during your motherhood journey, I guarantee you that it's in the confessional. And that's a beautiful thing. 

Just a few examples of some recent confessions that have made me feel a heck of a lot better about myself include:

“My 4-year-old has not been to a regular checkup nor had an immunization since age 2.”

“I hate being a mom. I gave up everything that made me me and now I’m just a shadow of myself.”

“My office is open seating. I thought my fart would be silent. I was very wrong.”

“I want a Velcro wall in my house. To just toss dds 3 & 5 up on there while I’m trying to get shit done … I think about this at least once a day.”

“I can work remotely from home but choose to drive an hour to the office just to get time to myself. It's so sad”

See what I mean? From the LOL-worthy to the very serious and heavyweight of confessions that center around abuse and past trauma, the confessions I have read have reminded me that none of us are alone as we think we are. And when in doubt, sometimes, it just feels good to get it all out. 

What do you think?

The Scary Mommy Confessional Vault Has Saved My Life as a Mom

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

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