Go Ahead and Pry My Coffee Out of My Swollen Pregnant Fingers, Because I’m Not Giving It Up

There has been some talk going around the Internet lately about more pregnant women who have been shamed for publicly trying to order something as scandalous as a cup of coffee. For instance, a comedian shared her observation of a Starbucks barista who tried to stop a pregnant woman from ordering a cup of coffee. Even when the gracious pregnant woman took time to patiently explain that it was fine for her to order a cup, he continued to argue with her, at which point, you would start to sympathize with her if she lost her mind a little, because honestly, what in the world?! According to her tweet, the convo went down something like this: 

“Unbelievable bit of womb bothering in Starbucks at services. A pregnant woman got her Caramel Macchiato and the guy behind the counter said ‘Oh, it’s for you. Do you want me to make a decaf?’ She said ‘No, thanks’ Him ‘No I should because caffeine is bad for the baby’ Her ‘It’s fine I have one a day’ Him ‘But…you shouldn’t’ Me *almost spontaneously combusting* ‘Are you a man, telling a woman what she should and shouldn’t have during a pregnancy? Then he says ‘Oh just because it’s bad for the baby so that’s why I’m saying it’”

If you've ever been pregnant, you're probably rolling your eyes, because you know exactly what that poor woman went through. Ordering coffee in public when you're pregnant is akin to something out of a horror movie because you just never know what you're going to face. Will there be judgment? Will people think you're a horrible mother? Will you be chased out of the restaurant with a pitchfork? 

Interestingly enough, if you read the thread from her tweet, a rather disturbing number of men actually defended the barista's actions, which would be almost laughable if it wasn't so horrible. “Why beat the guy up on social media?” tweeted one man supporting his fellow mansplainer. “At least he is TRYING to be involved and not standing on the sideline watching someone do something he believes might hurt the child. Educating him is the more perfect thing to do. Calling his ignorance out is NO different than what he did.”

{ MORE: "Yes, I'm Due Tomorrow!" and Other Lies I Tell Complete Strangers About My Pregnancy }

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Because, as everyone knows, pregnant women are dumb and clearly have no idea what is safe for them or their babies, and a barista working in a coffee shop obviously has important, life-saving knowledge to impart on them that their actual medical doctors failed to inform them about. Phew! That was a close one! Thank goodness for the men of the world always looking out for helpless females hell-bent on driving their unborn children straight into disaster with that caffeine-laden sip of sinfulness. 

After I read this story, I have to admit that I went to a restaurant the very next day to work and I was scared while ordering my coffee–I felt like the waitress would for sure try to stop me from drinking it. Thankfully, she did not, and I have yet to face any public criticism for ordering any caffeinated beverage while out and about, but I do know that if it happened, I would definitely be upset over the experience. The truth is, mothers already feel like we face so much judgment and when coffee is the only thing getting us through, it can be downright devastating to be made to feel bad for the one thing we have left during pregnancy. 

coffee
Image via Unsplash/ Stiven Gaviria

Fortunately, however, if you're reading this and have ever felt guilty at any point in time for your coffee habit that has continued during pregnancy, allow me to assure you that the judgy Starbucks baristas are (shockingly) not educated on the latest studies–which confirm, once again, that a daily cup of coffee is just fine during pregnancy. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists even takes the official position that one cup or around 200 mg of caffeine) does not seem to be associated with any major risks during pregnancy, such as miscarriage, which was once the biggest fear. 

Obviously, you should always consult with your own doctor or pregnancy care provider during your pregnancy before consuming caffeine, and keep in mind that other food and drink sources might have caffeine in them too, if you're trying to limit your intake, but in general, you can join me and my swollen pregnant fingers in clutching onto our morning cup of joe, no matter what any barista tries to say. 

What do you think?

Go Ahead and Pry My Coffee Out of My Swollen Pregnant Fingers, Because I’m Not Giving It Up

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

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