When Should You Announce Your Pregnancy?

pregnancy
Image via J & J Brusie Photography

When I suspected that I was pregnant with my third child, I took a pregnancy test as early as possible. Somehow I just knew that those two lines were going to show up the second I peed on that stick.

And when they did, after texting my husband a picture of the positive pregnancy test (which he never got) I decided that I would keep this pregnancy under wraps for a bit. After announcing my previous two pregnancies almost hours after I took the test, I thought it would be a better idea to wait this time around. What’s all the rush for anyways, right? I wanted to make sure everything was progressing healthily and safely before I made any official announcement.

The next day, we were invited over to a family friend’s house for a dinner party. About 10 minutes into the evening, our lovely hostess offered me a glass of wine. 

I opened my mouth to accept… and then remembered I was pregnant. 

Crap.

Recovering quickly, I did my best to appear nonchalant while politely declining the offer. 

The hostess looked at me, her eyes narrowing. 

“So when are you due?” she demanded. 

Keeping your pregnancy on the down low can be difficult – excitement, inquiring family and friends, or in some cases, an apparent affinity for alcohol may speed along your announcement sooner than you may like. 

So when is the right time to announce your pregnancy?

Traditionally, many times out of fear of miscarrying, many women have waited until the end of their first trimesters before announcing that they are expecting. Although she told her immediate family right away, Kathleen Reed waited to share the news publicly until she had seen a doctor. “We told other friends and family after our doctor appointment around 10 weeks,” she explained.

But now, The Herald Sun reports that more and more women are announcing their pregnancies earlier. With social media tracking our every move and an instant-results society, it makes sense that we would find it difficult to wait to announce our big news. 

So what is the risk? The Mayo Clinic reports that between 15-20% of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage, typically during the first trimester, so if you are concerned about your risk of a miscarriage, it might be a good idea to speak to your doctor about your concerns. You might decide you would need public support, regardless of your pregnancy outcome. 

In the end, go with the decision that makes you comfortable. Talk with your partner or your doctor about the best time to announce your pregnancy and try to balance legitimate concerns about your pregnancy with giving yourself permission to be excited.

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Oh, and avoid dinner parties.

With wine.

And inquiring hostesses. 

What do you think?

When Should You Announce Your Pregnancy?

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

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5 comments

  1. Rebecca says:

    When we found out I was one month further with my daughter at our 8/12 wk appointment we told all of our family. With my second pregnancy I was glad I kept it under wraps. My husband, sister, and my friend I babysit for were the only ones that new… we miscarried and found out at my 8wk appointment (less people to tell the bad news). I waited until about 16wks with my son to tell everyone because I wanted to wait until after the last caving trip we had planned… I didn’t want everyone treating me as an invalid when I went repelling into the cave and ascending back out. This time we told around 15 wks for a mother’s day surprise. I always told my husband and my sister (we have an agreement that if she asks I have to tell her now vice versa since she married) first. Everyone else we try to hold out until suspicion starts growing.

  2. sayhola says:

    I "blew it" during a conversation, when offering to drive for a GNO. One asked if I was offering for any "reason" and I just raised my eyebrows, shrugged my shoulders, and turned away, knowing she knew. Yet, the other friend involved in the conversation let that one slip right over her head!

  3. pumpkin says:

    i told my mum right away (well after i texted a pic of the test to hubby) but waited till thanksgiving to tell everyone else… we wanted to wait till after the end of the first trimester (about christmas) but i was already starting to show a little and wanted to announce it on a holiday <3

  4. Arryn says:

    With my daughter we told everybody the day we found out we were pregnant. we lost a baby March 1st didn’t know i was pregnant but just knowing that we lost our baby around 7 weeks i will probley wait till after my 1st trimester from now on just in case it were to happen again…fingers crossed it doesn’t

  5. KaelinRae says:

    This is my first pregnancy and I didn’t really know what to expect. My fiance was the first to know (besides myself) and when we talked it over I told him that I wanted to wait until after our first doctors appointment. Unfortunately, one of my sisters was concerned about how much water I was drinking the day of the appointment (since I had to drink the 40 ounces for the ultrasound) and went to my mom about it. My whole family pretty much knew before I got back from my appointment.

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