The 9 Best Excuses To Get Away With During Pregnancy

Image adapted via Flickr/redjar

When I read that Reese Witherspoon tried to wiggle her way out of her husband's ticket by claiming she was pregnant, I have to admit that my first thought (aside from a little disappointment in Reese, because come on, who doesn’t love Legally Blonde?) was why didn’t I ever think of that?

My mind flashed back to a few years ago, on Christmas Eve, when my husband had been speeding to make it to church. Not the best move, in retrospect, and when he got pulled over right outside of the church parking lot, I was so upset that 1) he had been speeding at all 2) that it was on the way to Christmas Mass and 3) that we were right by the church, for cryin' out loud, that I burst into tears.

And although I don’t think it was obvious to the officer at the time, I happened to be pregnant (which probably accounted for the emotional outburst) and as it also happened, he didn’t give us a ticket that night. I think he totally felt bad for the obvious lunatic of a wife my husband had. Plus, it was Christmas.

So, in a round-about way, my pregnancy did kind of get us out of a ticket that night. Which got me thinking…what else can pregnancy get us women-folk out of?

Here are the 9 best excuses I came up with:

Image via Flickr/Mmcdj

Cooking. “Ugh, honey, I’m sorry, but the smells just make me so nauseated!!” Fortunately, that only applies to cooking food, not eating it, so it’s time to let the men in the kitchen.

Image via Flickr/Pragati Mega

Vacuuming. Lugging that heavy vacuum up and down the stairs to clean them? Surely that’s bad for the baby, right?

Image via Flickr/jaymiek

Cleaning the bathroom. All those toxic chemicals and fumes! Sure, you could crack a window, but it’s better left to someone else, don’t ya think?

Image via Flickr/Arkansas ShutterBug

Sex. This is definitely one time in your life when you have a get-out-of-sex-free card. Unless you’re in the mood, of course, in which you case, you have every reason to have more sex. All those hormones!

Image via Flickr/koadmunkee

Unwanted social functions. Not feeling like going out? Feel free to play the pregnancy exhaustion card. No one will question you and you can watch all the indulgent, mindless TV shows you want. Your secret is safe with us.

Image via Flickr/David Holt London

Counting calories. Now, no one’s endorsing a free-for-all, all-you-can-eat-for-two buffet here, but if you want to have that second brownie, this is probably the only time in your life it honestly will be ok. As long as you don’t do it every night, of course.

Image adapted via iStock

Exercise. I know, I know, lots of forms of exercise are good for you during pregnancy, like swimming and even running. But come on – even though I like exercising, there’s no way I was running in my last trimester. If you’re just not feeling anything more than a brisk walkwaddle here and there, leave your guilt behind.

Image via Flickr/Evil Erin

Contagious diseases. Granted, this one is not applicable to everyone, but if you work in the healthcare field, like I do, have no fear for passing on patients who may be harboring communicable diseases. There’s a time and a place, but right now, if you feel the need for extra protection for your unborn baby, by all means, do it.

Image via Flickr/megan leetz

Nap guilt. Ever feel guilty about wanting to take an afternoon nap? Like there’s so much other stuff you should be doing? Now is the time to let that guilt go, my friend. I just can’t say it enough, especially if this is your first pregnancy: take all the naps you can!

Have you ever used your pregnancy as an excuse? Spill!

{Related: How to Create Your Dream Nursery on a Budget}

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The 9 Best Excuses To Get Away With During Pregnancy

Chaunie Brusie is a coffee mug addict, a labor and delivery nurse turned freelance writer, and a young(ish) mom of four. She is the author of "Tiny Blue Lines: Preparing For Your Baby, Moving Forward In Faith, & Reclaiming Your Life In An Unplanned Pregnancy" and "The Moments That Made You A Mother". She also runs Passion Meets Practicality, a community of tips + inspiration for work-at-home mothers. ... More

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  1. I used my first pregnancy to get out of moving in with my then b f’s mom with him because she had so many dogs and cats that the front yard smelled like a litter box.

  2. Profile photo of Ellamiek says:

    I use way too many of these… oh well 🙂

  3. Profile photo of Jennifer Jennifer says:

    This is my first pregnancy and I think all 9 sound amazing!!

  4. Profile photo of sgroves09 sgroves09 says:

    I’ve used my pregnancy to call off of work.

  5. Profile photo of Monica Monica says:

    I Do #9 ALL The Time..!

  6. Profile photo of Jillann1982 Jillann1982 says:

    Haha, I once told a female cop who pulled me over for speeding that I was speeding bc I had to pee (I was quite pregnant and I DID have to pee) and she let me off with a warning. 🙂

  7. Profile photo of Jillann1982 Jillann1982 says:

    Umm, maybe you didn’t exactly research your Reese Witherspoon comment. She didn’t lie about being pregnant to get out of a parking ticket, she was DRUNK and lied about being pregnant bc her husband was being arrested for drunk driving, and she ended up getting arrested as well.

  8. Wonderful.

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