Is There a Right Age For Motherhood?

pregnant belly

When I became a mother unexpectedly at the age of 21, I had my doubts if I was doing the right thing. Still a college senior taking my laundry home to my parents every weekend, I didn’t exactly have “responsible mother” written across my forehead.

As my husband and I struggled with finishing up school, moving, and settling into jobs as new parents with a squalling newborn, I often found myself plagued by insecurity.

Was I too young to do this? Do I know what I’m doing? Will my daughter realize one day that I was totally ad-libbing this whole parenting thing?

Turns out, I didn’t need to worry so much. Having kids early on may not be such a bad deal after all.

Some women, like Penelope Trunk, an author, blogger, and career advisor argue that the key to women “having it all” is popping the kids out early. In her post, “Get Pregnant at 25 if You Want a High-Powered Career,” Penelope suggests that it’s much easier for women to have the babies first, and then focus on building their careers. She cited 25 as the “ideal” age for women looking to have both babies and careers; so apparently, I’m way ahead of the game by starting at age 21!

And one fertility doctor I spoke to recommend that women who wish to have children do so in their early twenties to avoid the risk of a miscarriage. “With every passing year, the risk of miscarriage highly increases,” she related.

Every situation and every woman is different. But the important thing is that I have learned that there is no such thing as one “right” age or time for motherhood. Each season of life and each age for parenthood brings strengths and advantages—what’s important is embracing ourselves as mothers in every light.

Photo via J & J Brusie Photography 

ADVERTISEMENT

What do you think?

Is There a Right Age For Motherhood?

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

Tell us what you think!

14 comments

  1. Alison says:

    I decided at 22 to start a family. My partner and I took time to plan and gave ourselves deadlines. If a deadline came up and we were still confident in our decision, then we’d move to the next step in planning. After six months of this, we still never had a doubt in our minds. I’ve wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, and I am THRILLED about my baby girl. I will be 23 by the time she is born, and I think that’s a pretty darn perfect age – at least for me.

  2. mommy nhoj says:

    25 was my ideal then. But circumstances at that time did not permit to have one. I got married at 30 and had my first at 31. My mother gave birth to me before she turned 20. She admitted to me that during first years, she hardly knew about parenting. But experiences came along and she had 5 children at the age of 31. One of the beauties of early marriage is that 4 of 5 children graduated college before their retirement. Our youngest is 4th year college. They have 4 grandchildren and though there were many rough times, they are able to stand by with each other. My parents are happiest when they see all their children and grandchildren together.

  3. Gina says:

    I had my first at 19, second at 21 and now at 35 I’m having a surprise 🙂 All pregnancies were different and I was able to handle each differently. As long as you can care for and love the baby, any age is the right age.

  4. Cesia perez says:

    I think it all depends on your ability I had my 1st. Baby at 17 but I knew what I was doing I knew what responsability was I was a lukky mom!!! I love my children… Im happy I had them at a yung age…

  5. audrey says:

    I believe age is irrelevant to child birth. As long as you are ready and fully capable of providing for a child you should be able to start a family. I speak for myself. I am in my mid 20’s and my husband and I are both college graduates with growing careers and homeowners. Although young, I believe we are fully capable of providing for our first child. 181 days and counting before we can share our first bundle of joy with the world!

  6. Marina says:

    This will be my first child ( not unfortunately possibly last ). I will be 39 next month. Pregnancy is extremely tough on my body even though everyone thinks I am in my late 20’s. I should have done this when I was younger although I been with my husband for 22 yrs. and could ‘t get pregnant. I guess things happen for a reason.

  7. Seity says:

    It’s whenever it’s right for you. Having a baby in my 20’s would not have been a good time for me. I had my first at 36 and second at 39. They were the easiest most complication free pregnancies you can imagine. I definitely would not have wanted my children any earlier in my life, but that’s my life and everyone’s experiences are different. I love the confidence, security, and stability I bring into motherhood in my 30’s that I would not have had in my 20’s.

  8. mommy2jude says:

    I’m not sure I agree with this article. I waited until I was 34, and I don’t regret it one bit! Sure, the odds increase as you get older for birth defects, but someone in their 20’s can have a miscarriage, just like a woman in her 30’s or 40’s can. I am pregnant now with my 2nd child, and will be 39 over the summer. I don’t feel I was ready for it in my 20’s.

  9. It’s comforting to read that it’s working out for you after having a child at 21. I’m starting at 22 and feel somewhat confident about it but still anxious and nervous about being a parent.

  10. Stephanie says:

    I think it totally just depends on your attitude. If your still in the party mode and don’t have your priorities straight then having a baby isn’t going to be the first thing on your mind. I think it just all depends on your mindset and outlook on life and what you want out of it. I myself am 19 going on 20 in June and I couldn’t be happier. I am excited to finally start a family of my own, even though I do believe I should have done more schooling.. or tried harder to get into the military first, it would have made things a little bit easier.. but i most defiantly don’t regret it. Everything happens for a reason, and I am most happy this is one of those things.

  11. There is a better age as far as being healthy to getting pregnant but I don’t think there has to be a age for being in mother hood. Older is better I am 20 and i have a lil boy and pregnant with twins now I think i am young but my priority’s are straight. My life is around mother hood and my family. Drama and kid stuff are to dumb to have to or want to deal with. When you become a mother little things do not matter but just because you have a child does not make you a mother. Some women have their reasons for what they do with their children and I do not agree with 12 or 14 year olds getting pregnant but my cousin had hers when she was 13 and actually lost her son due to unknown reasons. That did not mean she was a bad parent but I think it is always better for you to be older and everything happens for a reason.

  12. Amandar31 says:

    I was told the age that it is more likely to have complications during your pregnancy is 35? So I believe the age bracket should be anywhere between 26-31, why you may ask? Maturity and also for health reasons. Most young mothers missed out on their party days and then try to relive them after the child is born. I believe when a child is born is when you should be setting the example. Just my opinion.

  13. Marissa says:

    I feel like women should consider child bearig at the anatomical correct age of 20-24.

Advertisement
[x]
×

EverydayFamily.com Week-by-Week Newsletter

Receive weekly updates on your pregnancy or new baby’s development as well as Free Stuff, Special Offers, Product Samples, Coupons, Checklists and Tools you can use today, and more from EverydayFamily! Plus all new members are entered to win FREE diapers for a year! Receive weekly updates on your pregnancy or new baby’s development as well as Free Stuff, Special Offers, Product Samples, Coupons, Checklists and Tools you can use today, and more from EverydayFamily! Plus all new members are entered to win FREE diapers for a year!

Due Date or Baby's Birth Date


By clicking the "Join Now" button you are agreeing to the terms of use and privacy policy.

Send this to a friend