I’m Afraid of What Will Happen If I Don’t Start Putting My Marriage First

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It's hard to believe that we are more than halfway through 2015, and I am ready for this year to be over. It has easily been one of the  hardest years my marriage has yet to endure. My husband and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on June 6th, just two months after we said goodbye to our unborn child. In addition to experiencing a gut-wrenching miscarriage, we have had a very difficult year financially. Not to mention, our 2-year-old has had some unexpected medical challenges, too.  

Needless to say, during this time, our marriage has taken a toll. We have put our kids first and our relationship second. In the beginning of 2015, before all of these horrible, life changing events, we decided to make us count again. Since we don't have family nearby to babysit and can't afford a babysitter, we made it a point to block out Saturday nights for at-home date nights once the kids went to bed. These date nights were great and gave us something to look forward to during a long work week. 

{ MORE: What Happened When a Husband and Wife Switched Places? }

Once we found out we lost our baby, date nights were no longer. I was still healing physically and emotionally; I was drained of all energy and desire to even want to cuddle. We still haven't really found our way back to date nights. Life gets in the way, and we make excuses. Too tired. Too stressed. Too much cleaning to do. Too much work to do. With three kids, it's easy to get overwhelmed with everyday life and just shut down, yet I am afraid if we don't start putting us first again we will go down a path I vowed to never go down. My children deserve a house full of love. Two loving parents. A mom and a dad to wake up to and to kiss them goodnight in the same house.  

I grew up as a kid of divorced parents. It was hard and something I do not want to put my children through. I realize that not everything in a relationship is guaranteed, but I can sure work to get back to the place I wish to be.  

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How have you gotten through a difficult time during your marriage when your children or other life stressors had to come first? 

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I’m Afraid of What Will Happen If I Don’t Start Putting My Marriage First

Mindi is a working mom with three boys ages 4, 2, and an infant (born June 2013). She spent her first 8 years of her career in Speech-Language Pathology at a Children's Hospital. She currently works with adults and children in home health. The real fun for her happens when she is at home with her boys, chasing them around and pretending to be a super hero. She blogs about life as a working mom at Simply Stavish. Her weekly feature, Words in the Sand, teaches parents how to grow their child's s ... More

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