It’s Not Just Mom That’s Pregnant – It’s Dad, Too. We’re Both Pregnant!
When my wife and I discovered our first child was on the way, we were overjoyed. The thrill of becoming a father and growing our married love was becoming reality. It left me pumped, euphoric, and over-the-moon about the huge change we were about to experience.
But I also felt left out.
You see, when a couple becomes pregnant (more on that expression in a moment), it’s the woman who gains instant adulation by way of carrying the child. The wife goes shopping for new maternity clothes, often with sisters or girlfriends. She’ll likely be guest of honor at a baby shower with lots of guests, food, and presents. She’s starting to change physically and is receiving extra consideration at doctor visits. She’ll get to request special foods not normally part of one’s daily diet (which is a nice way of saying that she has a license to eat whatever she wants).
It is a wonderful, exciting time, and any husband is happy to see the added care and consideration his wife gets. The husband’s life will change too, but the lack of attention can easily make a dad feel shut out.
Of course, there’s plenty the wife can to do make a dad feel like a part of the team. Do things together. Register together, attend appointments, plan the room, and feel the baby’s kick. All of this should go without saying. But the best idea is often overlooked.
So, what is that one, easy, surefire, free way to make dad feel appreciated and involved?
Let everyone know you’re both pregnant. That's right. Both pregnant.
Sure, we all know that, technically, the child is growing inside the female. But we also know that none of this is physically possible without a male – and that child is his, too.
So get used to saying it: couples become pregnant.
By telling the world, “We’re pregnant!” and “Our baby is on the way!” it’s a telltale endorsement to friends and family that the baby is yours together. That the dad-to-be is every bit an equivalent parent as the mom-to-be. There’s no better way to make dad feel like a valued, equal part of the team. And yes, dad’s heart melts, too – he loves hearing togetherness words.
When women inevitably exclaim, “I’m pregnant!” it’s not that they intentionally mean to exclude the husbands, or invoke any fatherly emotional detachment from the baby. It’s likely they just didn’t realize their word choice, or forgot, or omitted, or assumed, or overlooked.
Yet, that’s what happens to dads all the time.
So, make a pledge to use the proper pronoun during your pregnancy and beyond. Let everyone know that you're both expecting, both pregnant. Your relationship – as well as a genuine, committed, unified parenting approach – will be the better for it.