The New Years Resolution Your Two-Year-Old Would Make for You
When the ball drops and the calendar flips, lots of people think about how the upcoming year will be different and better than the last. As they brainstorm all the great things to come, they often make a New Years resolution or two and promise themselves that they’ll follow through.
Many moms might resolve to be more active, spend more time reading, or take a night out for themselves every now and then. But if their toddlers were writing the resolutions they might look very different. Check out the resolutions below that toddlers would write for their mom’s if they could.
Prioritize the importance of what color cup they give their little one.
Mom, okay, get it together – STOP giving me the red cup when I so clearly wanted the blue one. It doesn't matter that I said “red.” What I MEANT was “blue.” Also, please know that just because I wanted the red one yesterday doesn't mean I’ll want it today or tomorrow … or ever again. Also, please know that sometimes I do want the red one.
Delete dinner and open an all-day snack bar on the kitchen counter.
For real mom, what’s up with dinner? Let’s just cut to the chase, you want me to eat, I know you do. So WHHHYYYY don’t you just let me eat what I want when I want and stop trying with all these meal time labels like “breakfast,” “lunch,” and “dinner.” In 2019, just leave the Pirate's Booty on the counter and let me go to town all afternoon.
Ditch the baby proofing gear!
GATES? Do you know how insulting BABY GATES are? I’m not a baby anymore and I demand that you remove all baby gates from the house and let me sail up and down the stairs at my leisure. Also, what’s with all the plastic in those little buzzing holes in the wall? Let’s get that out of there so that in 2019 I can finally explore them!
Abandon FOMO by skipping nap time indefinitely.
You know I hate naps, I know I hate naps so why, why mom, do we keep trying with the naps? I hate missing what’s going on and I know you miss me so, in 2019 let’s abandon FOMO and ditch the naps forever!
Scoot over in the bed.
I know I just said I hate naps but I don’t hate ALL sleep. I love sleeping as long as my cheek is on your chest and my foot is either right on your bladder or right on your face. I know you get lonely and miss me at night too so, in 2019 let’s resolve to share the big bed at night forever!
What New Years resolution would your toddler make for you? Share in the comments!