Attention! Never Say This to a Working Mom!
Some people just have to put in their two cents, especially when we do not want to hear it! We asked YOU if anyone in your life had made a comment about your job or family status that you wish they’d kept to themselves (or just never say in the first place!). Here were some of your answers.
Brenda S: I had someone say to me, “If you were a stay-at-home mom your child would be potty trained already …”
Jennifer C: I work full time as a nurse, as well as going to school to become an RN. My mother-in-law constantly made comments about how she got to be a stay-at-home mom and how I needed to take all my FMLA time while on maternity leave last fall. She made me feel like a crappy mom and that I was so obviously not doing the right thing by going back to work.
Laura M: When I went back to work teaching, I had parent-teacher conferences. A well-meaning mama of one of the students I taught looked at the picture of my baby on my desk. She commented on how cute she was and asked where she was during the day. I told her she was at daycare. The mom said, “I could never leave my baby at a daycare!” I wanted to cry.
Ciara R: Some of my coworkers used to talk behind my back and call me a “kiss ***” because anytime extra hours were offered in the office I would be the first to sign up. And not just because it shows my ability to be a team player. Have you experienced the cost of full-time daycare? I pay $657 a month, no assistance and no child support. I will take that extra 1.5-time pay, thank you very much. Without my overtime, I literally have $20 every two weeks for gas and extra needs/wants. A month ago, my check was almost $300 more than a normal 40-hour week. That’s going right into savings (for when bills come around).
Kristen H: My mother-in-law frequently comments that my oldest (who just turned 3) will never potty train because I work. She said potty training wasn’t hard for her because she stayed at home with her kids. I don't understand it. I would never attack at a stay-at-home mom.
Laura L: There have been a few comments about our decision to use a daycare center (as opposed to an in-home daycare). Contrary to these individuals' opinions that we are idiots and love to throw our money out the window because we have chosen a daycare center, in actuality, we chose a center because we feel it will be a safer and more educational experience for our child. (In our state, deaths in licensed in-home settings outpace infant deaths in licensed center-settings by a rate of more than 10:1). Everyone is entitled to their own opinions about which care method is best for their family, but STOP harping at me about my decision!
Julianne N: I work full time at my kids' school. A lot of the time I get comments about how I could be doing better or how I could make more money doing something else. However, if I worked FT elsewhere, I would have to pay for before/after school care and it would basically be a wash. With this job, I'm off when the kids are off, have delays and snow days when they do, and I never have to scramble to find last minute care for them. I'm doing the best I can for my kiddos and me. No, I don't make 6 figures. But I'm there for my kids and that's worth more than its weight in gold.
Nelli G: I'm a school bus driver. Which is only part-time. BUT I get to take my daughter on the bus with me, so we don't pay for childcare. Too many people want to comment on my lack of having a full-time job. They don't understand I'd just be working full time to pay for daycare. What's the point in that? I would work longer hours, my child would go with strangers for 8 hours a day, and I would have about the same amount of “bring home” money after daycare is paid for. It's called opportunity cost, people. I'd rather give up the extra $80 I'd have a month from working full time and have the opportunity to spend more time with my daughter! My father-in-law even goes as far as to print “now hiring” ads and give them to me at Sunday dinners at his house.
Christy M: Only from myself. I wish I could be home with my little girl so badly. I miss so much. I wish this was the 50's. I try so hard to be both homemaker and full-time employee. I take care of the house, make my fiancées lunch, usually have dinner done as he is settling down, prepare something for our daughter, and still try to have the energy to be pleasant and not drop dead. All after I've worked a 9-hour day at a strenuous, physically back-breaking job.
Whew! That’s a lot of comments we wish people would never say about being a working mom! But don’t worry, if you’ve heard something similar, you are not alone. We’re all just doing our best out there.
So, has anyone in your life said something to you about being a working mom that you wish they would never say again (or never have said in the first place)?