Top 10 Things to Know When Raising Daughters

mother with her daughters

I grew up with a single brother.  In retrospect, having a sibling of a different sex made things pretty easy for me and for my parents

Now, as a mother, I can admit that in a million years I never imagined that I would be raising 4 females under one roof.  (And please, save the “Your Poor Husband” woes because the hard truth is I have to deal with them more than anyone else does).  So now that I am knee deep in hair scrunchies and emotional melodrama, I have some advice to pass on to those who are also raising a house full of estrogen producing offspring.   

Today, I am sharing with you the Top 10 ‘need to know' things I have learned about raising girls. 

1.  Invest in toilet paper.  Seriously!  You might want to think about ordering in toilet paper by the truck load.  The older they get, the more toilet paper they use and we easily, and I mean easily go through 25 – 30 rolls per week. 

2.  Have a good hiding place for toilet paper.  (If the kids see your stock pile they won't be as careful about not using so much because they will think that you are almost out.  I hide mine in the stow-and-go in my minivan.

3.  Have plenty of mirrors around the house.  We only have one bathroom, which poses plenty of problems.  However, when the girls are all trying to get ready at the same time having plenty of mirrors around the house helps a lot.

4.  Buy yourself a good set of headphones that block out noise.  Girls talk.  A lot.  They talk about everything and anything.  Sometimes they just talk to hear their own voice.  Sometimes they talk to themselves.  Head phones are a good way to drown out some of that talking.

5.  Stay away from beauty and fashion magazines that depict pretty women as a certain size.  As if Barbie isn't bad enough.  I have had to stop purchasing magazines that glorify so called ‘perfectly sized women' because it really DOES make an impression on young girls. 

6.  Watch what you – meaning MOM – say about yourself.  Asking things like, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” or, “Have I gained weight?” or saying “I cannot stand the way I look in this bathing suit!” sends a bad message to your daughters.  And yes, they are listening to you.  Studies have shown that girls learn a lot about their own self image from their mothers….so be careful about what you say. 

7.  Never accuse them of being over emotional, melodramatic, or resort to using phrases such as, “Are you about to get your period?”  Truth is women are more emotional than men, and diminishing their feelings and making them feel silly for their feelings or blaming them on hormones, is a negative value to instill in your daughters.  There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with being emotional.

8.  Avoid prissing them up all the time.  The duality of femininity is one of the beautiful things about having a daughter.  They can play the flute and play field hockey.  They can wear bows in their hair and get down and dirty on the softball field.  Raising them gender neutral will open up many, many more doors for them in the future.

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9.  Tell them you love them often.  Daily.  More than once. Even when they are acting like crazy people.  Make sure they know they are loved.

10.  Don't make them share clothes.  If they want to, that's fine but if they are overly protective over their clothing then the best thing to do is honor that decision.  (This avoids many fights!)

Bonus 11.  Added tidbit here.  Empower the daddy to take care of the girls.  He may do things differently from you, but he can handle them just the same. 

What advice do you have for raising girls?

What do you think?

Top 10 Things to Know When Raising Daughters

Stef Daniel is the 40ish year old, experienced (meaning crazy already) mother of count ‘em…4 daughters (yes, she takes prayers) who have taught her nearly E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G she needs to know about raising kids and staying sane. She hails from a small town in Georgia where she lives with her family in a red tin roofed house (with just ONE bathroom mind you) on a farm - with tons of animals of course. One day, due to her sheer aversion to shoes and her immense lov ... More

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33 comments

  1. Aliyah says:

    love this article!

  2. Courtney says:

    Hide the TP!! LOL love it! I also went crazy with loads of tp as a kiddo!! Haha excellent tip!!

  3. Cait says:

    Love this article a friend and I always talk about this as we both have very dramatic six year old girls

  4. damion says:

    Take them fishing.

  5. kylee says:

    this is good to know

  6. Jessika says:

    Love this article. I grew up as the only girl so I never had any of these issues but now I have 3 girls and sometimes feel like I have no clue what I am supposed to do.

  7. Tahkaney says:

    This is great, I’ve always been tom boyish so I was worried about having a girl lol

  8. Ashley says:

    Very helpful for me since im bout to have a girl 🙂

  9. gfeld says:

    One more point I forgot to mention: Take out a mortgage! Girls are mighty expensive to raise. From the jewelry, hair accessories, and latest fashions and trends, one can see themselves going broke!

  10. gfeld says:

    Spot on!! My daughters do fit the bill in this article! My prob though is my girls want matching outfits and they are not twins! Whatever one has that’s what the others want. Oh, and the hair accessories and jewelry must match as well. I thought it would be interesting to see individuality once in a while but they refuse.

  11. Deigh says:

    Good points, will forward over to the Dad to be…LOL!!

  12. Irma says:

    Thank you for this advice! Especially about how we say about OUR self image. My mother had 4girls which I was her 2nd, and the last child was a male. But with her poor self image (back then) she treated me as her scapegoat and she talked down on me all the time. And I did end up believing that if I were to ever stop looking like a tooth pick I would not be pretty. Consequently , during my pregnancies she ALWAYS criticized me about my weight gain AND after my pregnancies. I hat being around her for more than an hour nowadays and my age is 30 and I weigh 133 lbs. I am lossing weight only for my pleasure and health reasons. I will NOT do this to my lil girl or boys. How selfish of a parent to destroy their OWN daughters image because of her egocentric views of true beauty and issues.. Please mothers don’t ever do this or STOP doing this if you are- it causes a suicidal low-selfesteem. I suffered this for 21 years of my life!!!

  13. Sane says:

    boo that is nothing. i got FIVE boys. im pregnant with my last child now and they say its a girl… omg am i praying. screw poor husband crap, poor ME! this house is nothing but testosterone and i need some estrogen! I have stopped feeling like a girl and started feeling more like an it around all these boys…. adapting to them. So i also take prayers. pray for me its a girl this time like they say!

  14. April says:

    i have 2 girls, 2 and 8. my challenge is that they are extremely tall for their age. this is really an issue for my oldest who stands a head taller than anyone in her second grade class. She is a very sensitive soul who does not take being teased for being tall well. and she doesnt like basketball so i cant use that to her advantage. we recently discovered that she can barely fit into anything in the girls section of Khols (or most stores) and we are (very carefuly) starting to search the juniors section for suitable options (she cried when she didnt fit a cute size 16 skirt set). my youngest is oblivious to this yet and hopefully it wont affect her as badly, at least i wil have more experience in dealing with it by then. oh and another thing since i am venting. while playing at the park with my 2 year old, the older one understandably was playing with older kids. then i discovered her walking with a 12 year old boy (same size as her) and i had to chase her down and let her know that is un acceptable. i would have been upset at her if she was 12 but i was down right scared since she is 8. no one said this would be easy.

  15. Angelica says:

    I’m anticipating all of this with just my one girl, hopefully things go well!

  16. neisha says:

    I agree the daddy has just as much right as the mother does to the children. Its sad that there are many men that do not want the reasponsablity.

  17. neisha says:

    That is some really good advice!

  18. neisha says:

    I totally agree with the watch what you say part. My mother always told me not to waste my life dreaming but really I feel I would have achieved more if she would have encouraged my dreaming. How can you reach a dream if you never have one? I have two daughters of my own one 9 one 6. My 9 yr old says she wants to be a rock star so I tell her she can be anything she puts her mind to. But of course to have a back up plan in case it doesn’t work out or she changes her mind.

  19. sabrina says:

    i cant agree more on 6, 7, 8 and 9. I grew up with 3 sisters and i owe my good behaviors 100% to my mom. she is not a graduate and full time housewife but she was the role model for me. I had my teen days, laziest and get lesser marks compared to my sisters , had beauty issues , dealing with boys issues…what a mom do, it reflects on the daughters and when they need sumone to talk, make sure the mother is there to listen instead if nagging or dating

  20. sabrina says:

    poor you, you have a great responsibility of taking care and raising girls as girls are more vulnerable and easy to fall for bad social activities that will ruin their lives ..

  21. Silver says:

    I completely understand I myself also have 4 girls 14, 13,10 and 4. I also have 1 baby boy who is only 3 months old. I became a single mother 8 months ago and I am having a hard tine learning how to date

  22. Holly says:

    Wow, Im not sure why negative people have to leave comments! Not all men feel the same about parenting and some let the woman take the reigns. I am a mother of 5 from 22 down to 19 months, 3 girls and two boys. Girls are definately more complicated, especially in their teen years. you have to combat peer pressure, back talk, defiance, hormones, laziness, expensive clothing, friendship issues and boys!! I would say stand firm on your beliefs even when they try to manipulate you or try to make you feel sorry for them. Give them a routine and consistency, build trust with them and teach them responsibility. Be there for them when and offer support when emotional issues arise. Teach them good qualities about friendship and how treat other people with respect and start this at a young age or it will be a battle later. I know this! Girls will also have their moods when they want to be alone, let them have this time but let them know you are there if they need you. Be a good role model, keep parent arguements etc away from the children. Teach them honesty and reward them for being honest even if the mistake they made was big (depending on circumstances). reward them for good behavior and using polite manners. There are so many things that could be covered here….Let them earn rewards, give them chores or responsibilities around home so that they dont expect everything to be handed to them or done for them. They are part of the household and as long as they are capable let them help and not feel guilty. This will teach them valuable lessons for life ahead. And as always be safe, know who, what, where and when if your child is going with friends etc.

  23. Dan says:

    I really have an issue with the way men are portrayed in this article. These attitudes about a man’s role in a family need to change. Bonus 11 sums it up: "Empower the daddy to take care of the girls. He may do things differently from you, but he can handle them just the same." This statement seems to be part of an epidemic of poor views with regards to gender roles. Men don’t need to be "empowered" by women to take care of their children. It’s really troubling to hear women speak as if they are the leader when it comes to children, and are dishing out duties as they see fit. Lets snap back to reality where each parent is an equal in the lives of their children. The stronghold women have enjoyed for years in divorce court with regards to custody is going to change. Once this happens and women are no longer entitled to have the children freely handed over to them as part of their "rights", I hope these attitudes will change.

    em·pow·er

    1.
    to give power or authority to; authorize, especially by legal or official means

    2.
    to enable or permit

  24. 🙂 Sure it is. Don’t forget Dad, even though he wouldn’t use near as much as the ladies of the house. That’s 6 people, several times a week. That’s a lot of bathroom time.
    There are 8 of us here. We easily use as much. Sometimes… more. 😉

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