Mom Confession: Truths About Baby Bunching

Image via Mindi Stavish
Image via Mindi Stavish

Having two children under two, known as baby bunching, has its risks and benefits. If you ask any baby-buncher mom on a good day what it's like having two small children to care for, she will likely smile at you and respond, “It's a lot of work, but lots of fun, too.” Ask her on a day when she hasn't slept for more than five hours straight in the past two weeks, and her house is exploding with mess, she will probably smile and say, “It's tiring but fun.” Perhaps it's just a sense of pride, but moms as a whole have a hard time admitting the truth. Two under two is hard work, including times full of constant diapers, tears, tantrums, and sleepless nights. Being a mom of two under two makes you question yourself as a parent  It makes you often think, “What the heck was I thinking? I can't do this!” Yet it is also amazing. Four little hands to hold. Two sweet voices to hear. Countless hugs and kisses. 

{ MORE: Risks and Benefits of ‘Baby Bunching’ }

My three boys are 5, almost 3, and 8 months, so I am in the midst of the insanity. I rarely sleep through the night, there are always at least two loads of laundry to wash or put away, and the fridge always seems to be empty. Yet I wouldn't trade it for the world. On days when the two older boys are driving each other crazy or making a mess in every room in the house, the baby gives me a big gummy grin. Then I can conquer the next task at hand or clean up the next stack of shredded newspaper. After nights when the baby doesn't want to sleep anywhere except in my arms, my oldest son will sneak into the room early in the morning and tell me he loves me. It's these small heart-warming moments that get me through the hard days and nights. 

Most moms will agree that baby bunching is great because your children have built-in playmates. What they fail to say is that you will have to wait 2–3 years for this to actually be true. Just these past months, my boys have finally arrived at the point where they generally play well together. My oldest son teaches the youngest so much as they play. They are constantly lost in their world of imagination. This morning, they were using a cardboard box to blast their animals off into space. I'm pretty sure that in my sleep-deprived state I couldn't be that entertaining!

{ MORE: How to Foster Sibling Relationships }

So the truth is that being a mom of two under two, three under five or any other combination of multiple kids spaced close together is like a car with failing brakes.  You feel as though the craziness is never ending, but you are grateful for those brief moments of time when you can stop.  These are the moments that take your breath away from joy.  

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Mom Confession: Truths About Baby Bunching

Mindi is a working mom with three boys ages 4, 2, and an infant (born June 2013). She spent her first 8 years of her career in Speech-Language Pathology at a Children's Hospital. She currently works with adults and children in home health. The real fun for her happens when she is at home with her boys, chasing them around and pretending to be a super hero. She blogs about life as a working mom at Simply Stavish. Her weekly feature, Words in the Sand, teaches parents how to grow their child's s ... More

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13 comments

  1. Patricia says:

    We are on baby #1 as we speak (16 weeks today!) so I had never heard of the term “baby bunching”. Since am only on #1, I will be a baby bunching mom since I will be 33 around the time Baby #1 is born (due date is in my birth month). We can’t wait around too long in between pregnancies or the kids will be in the house when we retire!!! =)

  2. MeganBrown says:

    Currently we have two boys a 3 1/2 year old and a 7 week old. If our second son would have been born on his due date our boys would have been exactly 3 1/2 years apart but he came early. I love the spacing of our kids and we may have another one in another 2 1/2 to 3 years but we’ll see how it goes.

  3. misty says:

    I have a 11 month old, 2.5 year old, and 3.5 year old. My first two are 12 months apart and my middle to last are 22 months. I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s alot of work but it’s worth it and the kids are all each other’s best friends. My oldest is just old enough to help with clean up and she potty trained easily my middle daughter is still work in on potty training but she might still be learning when my son starts. Their all close enough to set examples and teach the next one down. And I get to lose all my baby weight at once.

  4. Nicole says:

    My children are 3 years apart and I think that this great spacing. They don’t fight and play well together. I think it also depends on the individual child as well. At three my two older ones were more then happy to get a new sibling but now I am pregnant again and my 4 year is not as excited. He still wants to be the “baby” yet he says he is a big boy now lol. I think it is more that he knows my attention will have to be on the baby a little bit more and he is struggling with this. He is going baby shopping with me which is easing the transition. He will be ready by the time the baby comes its taking him a little longer to let go

  5. Aliya says:

    So i have two son almost 5 and just turned two im due in august and its a girl. (finally) So im going to be in this situation but i like their spacing right now its not bad at all. I wanna say i dont see how it could get worse but i might jinx myself

  6. I think 3 years apart is best. Mine are 12, 9, 7.1/2, and 3. 12 and 9 get along great, 12 and 3 also great, 12 and 7 1/2 no problems, 9 and 3 best friends, 7 1/2 and 3 love each other, but 9 and 7 1/2 cannot be in the same room together without someone standing over them and keeping them from killing each other. 12, 9 and 3 are girls and 7 1/2 is the only boy and it’s like cats and dogs when it comes to the two who are only 18 months apart.

  7. Melinda says:

    The sweet moments are the best! And when I can catch a nap or two per week is AWESOME! We have 6 children! My step-son who is 14, daughter who is 9, son-8(these two are 14mo. apart to the day), daughter who is 5, daughter who is 2 and our youngest daughter who is 10 months old! Right now, we are going through a very big rough patch with sleep, but I know this too shall pass and at some point I will be able to sleep through the night uninterrupted once again!

  8. Leslie says:

    That why five years apart is good. My is three. I hate close together for children.

  9. Kelly says:

    hard work, but the good moments are what i live for. everyone of them is a blessing to my life. i have a 7yo daughter, 5yo son, and 2 more girls, 3yo and 17 mo. we may have more, but for now we are enjoying the craziness :o)

  10. Kari says:

    I needed to read this today. I am due with #3 in 12 days. My second just turned 15 months old and my oldest is 3. My husband is a triplet and my sister and I are only 17 months apart. For both my husband and I, having a sibling that was just right there in our age group was vital in growing up. Even though we are super excited about this newest addition to our family, I still ask myself if we are really ready at all. But, then again, I think if we had waited until we were “ready,” we still wouldn’t have children at all. 🙂

  11. mommy nhoj says:

    I am smiling as I read your article because we are thinking of doing this baby bunching. I can feel the love and joy as you spoke in this piece. Surely, it is a lot of sacrifices and double hardwork! And i bet, your hands are so full with 3 boys in the house. But your a happy mom! J

    Our first born is 10 months old and we are planning to try conceiving another one in less than 2 years time. Meaning it could be this year or early next year. I am stay at home mom at the moment and thinking it over to extend makes me want to have another one. If its boy then we’re done! Ideally, we want 3. 🙂

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