Do You Speak Your Child’s Love Language? Find Out to See How You Show Love!

How do you show love? 

Some people love cuddles, some love to receive cards. Some love it when someone washes all of the dishes without being asked, while others are thrilled to receive even a small gift. On the other hand, you may spend hours writing just the right notes to your partner or child to tell them how much you love and appreciate them only to have the notes practically ignored. Or, you may spend time choosing just the right gift only to have your son or husband if you would go on a hike with them instead of gushing about the perfect present you chose. Where is the disconnect?

The answer may lie in learning the specific “love language” of the special people in your life.  According to researchers, there are five Love Languages and learning which one your partner, child, friends, and family “speaks” can help create deeper, more meaningful relationships.  

love language

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The five Love Languages and easy ways to “speak” these languages are:

  • Receiving Gifts:  Gifts serve as a representation as to how much the person is loved. Gifts should be thoughtful and reflect that thought went into the gift and reflect what the person likes and values. Avoid missing special occasions and giving “token” gifts that do not show thought went into selecting the gift.  
  • Quality Time: Spending time together is the best way to express love, even if it is just making time to play a game or engaging in focused conversation daily. Give your full attention, without distractions like having your phone out. Avoid not being fully present or canceling plans.
  • Words of Affirmation: Giving compliments and simply telling the person how much you love them is the way to their heart! Find something nice to say daily and let the special person in your life know how much you love and appreciate them daily. Writing notes or sending texts will be very much appreciated. Avoid insults and criticism.  
  • Acts of Service: Easing the burden of someone can be the best way to show love for some! Find things to do to help, like making lunches without being asked or occasionally doing your child's chores for them will be appreciated. Avoid making more work for the person or not following through.   
  • Physical Touch: Physical presence and connection are of utmost importance. Small gestures such as sitting close to one another, holding hands, kisses on the cheek, pats on the back, and cuddling are the best way to show love. Avoid physical distance or any type of rough touch.

You may find that each of your children has their own blend of love languages, in different combinations, and as a result the way that you relate to each of them needs to consider what is meaningful and important to them. How can you know what to do? Consider what your child asks for and what makes them happy and content. Do they always want to be close to you on the couch, holding hands, or getting hugs? Do they seek out your opinion and affirmation on their drawings, homework, and other things? The things that they consistently look for can give you an idea of the things that are giving them that emotional boost. 

Which Love Language do you speak? How about your children? Not sure? Take this quiz and let us know!

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Do You Speak Your Child’s Love Language? Find Out to See How You Show Love!

Jamie is a Beltway Insider who loves channeling her pre-motherhood love of traveling into spending time exploring all D.C. has to offer with her brood of two girls and two boys ages 9, 7,5, and a baby. She is a reformed lawyer turned full-time kid wrangler who enjoys photographing her everyday chaos and anything salted caramel. Since life is never dull, she loves writing about the issues and events going on in her life at any given time, including caring for a daughter with special needs and th ... More

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1 comment

  1. Amy says:

    There have to be more “love languages” than 5…what if none of them really apply to a person? If it were a love language, mine would be “time alone”.

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