Letter to a Lonely Mother

Lonely Mother
image via flickr user SodanieChea

 

Dear Lonely Mother,

I’ve seen the tears you shed over the six loads of unfolded laundry still piled high on your bed way past your bedtime. The tears you spilled over the burnt chicken dinner at 7:30 p.m., an hour and a half after you wanted to serve it. I’ve seen you hiding in the bathroom with wads of toilet paper in your hands as you try to cry in seclusion so you don’t upset your kids. And I’ve felt your heart sink when the phone call comes that your husband won’t be making it home until after the kids are in bed tonight. 

Womanhood is glorious, and vulnerability breeds creativity and expression.

I know you wonder if this is how it’s supposed to be—if you’re the only one who struggles daily, just to make it through dinner time, homework, diapers, runny noses, and baths. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to sit down to eat your dinner, when as soon as you do, there are requests for ketchup, a napkin, a favorite sippy cup, or to be taken to the potty. You wonder if in the endless streams of requests, there will ever come a moment of respite.

I know you question whether you’ve made the right choice. Should I have moved here? Should I have stayed home? Should I have gone back to work? Should we have waited to have kids? Am I any good at this?

I know you feel tired, sad, anxious, and lonely. I know about these things because I’ve been there. At the end of the day, when the only adult you’ve talked to was the bank customer service representative, you start to question every aspect of yourself and your life. If today was that day for you, I’m sorry. It stinks.

So first, let me tell you that you are not alone. Mothers around the world cry with you over these same things every day! But let me assure you, that doesn’t minimize what you are carrying!

This is only but a moment. Those little hands that you washed 1,000 times today will soon be too big for those mittens they keep pulling off. The legos, trains, and dollies with no clothes on will move on to laptops, school books, and cars. I know it’s hard to see now, but don’t wish it away.

Remember this: Right now, you are their EVERYTHING! What if it takes it all out of you? Good! You’ve given them the best of you! Isn’t that what you want to pass to your children? The very best parts of you? Don’t be afraid that you’re the only one! When one of us pretends she can handle it all, it just makes it harder for the rest of us to ask for help. We women need to stop competing with one another and start being real about genuine need.

It will be the best gift that our generation will give to our daughters—permission to be vulnerable and honest. I don’t know when those two words became synonymous with weakness, but it’s a lie. Womanhood is glorious, and vulnerability breeds creativity and expression.

So, dear lonely mother. Stop trying to go it alone. Let’s walk this motherhood path together. Let’s be honest about our daily struggles and build each other up. I’ll go first.

With a heart so full,

Another Lonely Mother

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Letter to a Lonely Mother

Jeanna Strassburg is a wife, and mother of three, who enjoys kitchen dance parties and summer time! Jeanna received her bachelor’s degree in Education from Brigham Young University-Idaho in April of 2007. She enjoys spending her time cooking, cleaning and tending to the proper duties of a stay at home mother… NOPE! Truthfully, she enjoys eating the food, but not making it or cleaning up after it. She likes to have a clean home, but loathes laundry and dishes. Loves her children, but coul ... More

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8 comments

  1. Profile photo of Valarie Valarie says:

    The article has summed up most of my days as a mother of two! I often feel like I give way more then I will ever get in return and that no one appreciates all my hard work!

  2. Profile photo of Bethany Bethany says:

    This describes how I and many others feel. It’s just kind of sad that we feel we can’t discuss out in the open, and feel somewhat ashamed about it. It’s all bittersweet. Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t feel the sweet until much later.

  3. Profile photo of Member Member says:

    This letter describes exactly how I feel. Lonely and unappreciated. It’s great to know that I am not alone with my feelings of lost and despair.
    Thank you.

  4. Profile photo of Tina Tina says:

    Great letter and one that should be given to all mothers to post on the fridge to remind them they are not alone. Supporting one another is so important. Thank you for the post.

  5. Profile photo of Garrett Garrett says:

    Wow…what a good read! I have had this same emotional state lately…crying because I feel like I shouldn’t be pregnant with a third when I feel like I am losing the ability to connect with my oldest. This baby is so unexpected because we weren’t planning on another – I have a 10 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. Not to mention that my son has been having some anxiety issues that we are seeing a counselor for. So when I found out I was pregnant, I cried thinking that I shouldn’t be having another if I am having so many issues with the oldest. But lately I have found that I am not alone. As I talk more with other moms and dads, I have learned that they too are facing the same issues with their parenting. Thanks for your blog post and helping us all feel less alone 🙂

  6. Profile photo of Ruby Ruby says:

    SO Glad I got to read this, really needed this Today. Thank you!

  7. Profile photo of Nat Nat says:

    wow! powerful words thank you!

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