What If You Just Don’t Want to Breastfeed?

So, tonight I had what one could call a bit of a hormonal pregnant-woman breakdown. 

It was smack dab in the middle of trying to eat my green beans (fresh from the garden and delicious) and spear a piece of chicken when suddenly, I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore. 

I looked over at the mess that awaited me in the kitchen, all three children needing baths and bedtime, the three loads of laundry I had left to do, the articles that needed writing, and I simply couldn't believe that in less than 24 hours, I would be adding a newborn to the mix. 

Yes, you read that right. 

At 8:00 tomorrow morning, I am set to be induced. And while I'm anxious about so many things (my first induction, the pain, the aftermath, arranging childcare, being alone when my husband goes back to work), I have to admit, I am particularly dreading breastfeeding, as awful as that may sound. 

{ MORE: Cluster Feeding: It's a Thing and a Not-So-Great Reality }

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Image via Flickr/ pfly

Just coming off of National Breastfeeding Week, as always, breast vs. formula is a hot topic. And as a mother who has exclusively breastfed all three of my children, and as a nurse who worked several years in labor and delivery, I am 100% a breastfeeding advocate and well aware of the benefits. 

I would never judge another mother who chose formula, and I devour formula-feeding articles faster than I can change diapers in a day, but the main “excuse” for using formula always seem to center around mothers who were unable to breastfeed—some physical challenge or a lack of milk production, for example. 

But it's not often you come across an article about a mother who chose to formula feed simply because she didn't want to breastfeed. 

{ MORE: Despite What It Might Seem Like Online, Almost 65% of Moms Surveyed Support This }

Which leads me to wonder. Is that reason enough? Would I be “mom enough” if I simply didn't want to breastfeed this time around? If I couldn't fathom how I would fit it in among caring for four children and working from home and doing a million school runs a day?

Would my desire to avoid mastitis and give my body a break after seven consecutive years of pregnancy and nursing be too selfish?

Is formula ever really OK when a mom is physically able to breastfeed, knowing all I know about the superior benefits about breastfeeding? 

I can't say that I fully know the answer to that question for me—I will always struggle with wanting to do what I think is best for my children and what I am physically, emotionally, and mentally able to give them as a mother, probably throughout my life. I believe that's called parenting. 

But what I do know is that the question of breastfeeding simply isn't black and white. Sure, in a perfect world, every mother who is physically capable of doing so would breastfeed, and it would be no problem. But in the real world, with work obstacles, relationship struggles, childcare issues, support and resources lacking, there is no such thing as perfect parenting. And in the long term, breastfeeding obviously isn't the only thing that matters. 

So, tomorrow, as I set to embark on another journey of parenting my fourth child, all I can say is this:

I don't have all the answers for what I will do to parent this baby tomorrow, the next week, or even in the month after that. 

{ MORE: Have a Toddler and a Baby? Here are 3 Tricks to Tandem Breastfeeding }

All I can do is take it day by day and try to make the best decisions—

For both of us. 

Did you bottle-feed because you wanted to? (No judgement, please!) 

What do you think?

What If You Just Don’t Want to Breastfeed?

Chaunie Brusie is a coffee mug addict, a labor and delivery nurse turned freelance writer, and a young(ish) mom of four. She is the author of "Tiny Blue Lines: Preparing For Your Baby, Moving Forward In Faith, & Reclaiming Your Life In An Unplanned Pregnancy" and "The Moments That Made You A Mother". She also runs Passion Meets Practicality, a community of tips + inspiration for work-at-home mothers. ... More

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42 comments

  1. Profile photo of Brandi Brandi says:

    With both of my kids, one now almost 8, and one 9 months I chose not to breastfeed either. Both were healthy when born one 7lbs 10 oz and one 8 lbs 13oz. I just didn’t want to do it. To be honest, I can’t stand the thought of it. Im totally supporting of mothers who do breastfeed. It’s just not something I wanted to do. Both my son and daughter slept through the night from day one, they were both full term, and today they are extremely brilliant, healthy and growing just the way they should. So I guess I’m in the 1% who just didn’t want to, even though I was completely capable of doing so.

  2. Profile photo of Leah Leah says:

    I breastfed my first for 6 weeks and started weening and missed one breastfeeding at 12 weeks, and she could no get anything after that, my husband encouraged me to breastfeed BEFORE she was born and we bought all the things are supposed to make it easier, and by 6 weeks he was encouraging me to switch to formula, it being my first, and after such a hard 9 months leeding up a very hard delivery, and even harder recovery, I felt helpless, and tired, no tired is not the word, I had not slept more than 45-90 minutes since about the 6th month of pregnancy, and my baby was always awake and always hungry, so, not having any terrible convictions, but wanting to do the natural thing, I felt trapped, but after that first night of 4 hours of straight sleep, I just let go and embraced formula. And so did my baby who was suddenly happy and full and sleeping. When my second was born and alarmingly only 20 months later, I didn’t care which way we went, I bought formula, infant and supplementing, cuz I guess there is a difference, and bottles and a new pump and the boppy pillow and few nursing tanks and bras. But I went into that delivery fully loaded and prepared for WHATEVER me and my baby needed. I did not feel pressured to run myself raged trying to breastfeed my newborn and keep up with my not even 2 year old daughter. I could see what is it we say hindsight, I had it this time. My formula fed baby was happy and healthy and smart and really smart, and well adjusted and happy, she didn’t care that I ‘gave up’ breastfeeding after only 6 weeks. She knew I loved her and I fed her and I bonded with her. She did not feel let down. And I had a much different experience with my second baby, she was almost 3 pounds smaller, and she loved to sleep. She breastfed great, and I was able to keep up with her growing demands, and after 7 months, when I felt like breasfeeding was taking over my life, and getting hard, and becoming a drain on me and my time and my toddler and my house, I felt prepared and I odnt use words like empowered, but I wasn’t afraid I was letting her down. I didn’t feel pressure from every other pair of boobs in the world. I felt ready and that was enough for me. I do not feel like I was more successful the second time, it was jjust different, what worked for me worked for me and me alone. And as a mom we need to remember that. I know my comment is longer than a blog. But I felt terrible the first time around, no one was supporting me to do what I needed to do no matter what that was, except for my husband who knew nothing about babies and only saw me sinking. I was my own support the second time. But I have also been able to support my friends and family who for whatever are scared that they are thinking about formula feeding. And that is what we should be talking about and sharing and pushing, we can tell people what we know from our own experience and how it worked for us, and that is all we can do. No one knows what another mother needs, except for when she needs help and we need to be there to help, offer a shoulder and an ear and not a verdict.

  3. Profile photo of Megan Megan says:

    I wanted to breastfeed, but we had so many issues, we decided that I would exclusively pump. Then we had a lot of weight issues with my baby, and she needed to be supplemented with formula. I was told by my pediatrician, who struggled with breastfeeding her two boys, that it didn’t matter what I did, it was just important that we fed our child. My little girl needed to gain weight, and I don’t produce enough milk to do so exclusively, so she’s been on a mix of breastmilk and formula. I’m still pumping, but I’m starting to dry up and now just pump twice a day. I’ve had to wean down because of time–I’m a pnseudo-single mom (husband lives/works out of town) and it’s hard to pump when I’m with my child and have to care for everything myself. I wanted to last until she was 3 months…she’s now 3.5 months and still gets about an ounce of breastmilk in every bottle. I don’t know if it’s enough to do anything, but I’m trying my best. If I can last until she’s 5 months, even if it’s just half an ounce in every bottle, I’ll be happy.

  4. Profile photo of CM CM says:

    I would say that if you can physically breastfeed then you should at least give it a try in the beginning so that you won’t lose your milk supply. You can always switch to formula if you want to. You can’t switch to breastmiilk if you start with formula first.
    As a new mom I was not so lucky. After a complicated delivery with 3rd degree tears, I didn’t get too much help with breastfeeding. In 48 hours they send you home with a vaginal delivery regardless if you’re ready to or not. In my case I definitely was not and ended up going back to the emergency room 3 days after I was sent home. My baby girl had a strong latch to the point that my nipples were bleeding (it felt like biting) and I had to pump first while they healed before trying to nurse again. I was not making enough milk and my baby girl wasn’t gaining enough weight by the time I saw a lactation consultant on day 5. So I had to supplement. By then I was never able to have a full milk supply.
    I went once a week to my lactation consultant for 2 months and even she could not figure out why I never made enough milk. So now my baby is most formula fed (about 90%) and I give her whatever I can pump. I felt really guilty for a long time like what did I do wrong and a lot of people judge you for it. I wish I could make enough milk. I am envious of all mothers who are able to. My supply decreases more and more with each passing month but I’ll pump and occasionally breastfeed when my baby wants to for about a year just so she can have some of the benefits of breastmilk and so that it may help protect me against breast cancer.
    But at the end of the day, it is what it is. I have a healthy baby and that’s what counts.
    Believe me formula feeding is not easy at all. I’m sick and tired of mixing bottles, washing pump parts and bottles, and pumping itself, etc. But I love my baby and will do whatever it takes for her. Formula feeding moms love their babies just as much as breastfeeding moms do.

  5. Profile photo of Cindi Cindi says:

    This article was written last August, and so far no one’s said anything about exclusively pumping. EP is a challenging road, but I chose it for both of my boys. With my first, I pumped for a year, and my second is now 2 months old and both boys are thriving. It drives me crazy that there is this “either/or” attitude about feeding a baby. Breast OR bottle. I wanted my sons to have breast milk, but nursing just didn’t work for us. So I pumped, and I took it one day a time. There are things that I love about it, and things that are annoying. I love the freedom of scheduling my own pumping, rather than being tied to the demands of a newborn’s appetite. I love that my husband can participate in feedings, and I don’t always have to be the one to stop what I’m doing and nurse. Sure, cleaning bottles is annoying, but I’m going back to work in a week and I’d have to clean bottles anyway. Sure, pumping is sometimes a drag, but it’s the price I pay for being too lazy or afraid of being judged to just do formula. It’s different for every mom, but for me, I find exclusively pumping and bottle feeding a much more fun and such a better bonding experience for me and my sons. Instead of being miserable, uncomfortable, and in pain, I can “Baby talk ” and have those sweet one on one bonding moments while feeding. It was a struggle to meet the demand with my first, and so I can empathize with moms who are struggling with supply. I’m fortunate to be able to pump extra with my second so I’m stocking the freezer and won’t have to pump for as long. In any case, breastfeeding or bottles, breast milk or formula, or combinations of both, it’s all such a personal choice, and each mom should be able to decide for herself and her child and family what works and not be judged or feel judged for it. I always feel encouraged when I read something in support of exclusively pumping, so I thought I’d add my voice to the discussion. Again, EP is not the easiest choice, but it IS an option.

    • Profile photo of Leah Leah says:

      I like how you said ‘one day at time’. There is so much pressure about breast/formula, and it makes women feel bad, or guilty, or like we have to defend our life choices. There is no clothe/disposable campaign, or sex/invetro, or private/public preschool. I don’t think any choice that we make as new moms is easy, breast, pump or formula, bottle or sippy cup, and everyone should feel safe to share and not feel so much pressure to do one thing or another. Being a child of the early 80’s our moms didn’t breastfeed us any longer than 6 weeks, that was the ‘standard’ then. and we turned out just fine.

  6. Profile photo of Simona Simona says:

    I will say try to breastfeed for the 1st 3-4 weeks let the kid to get the most important nutrition or breastfeed morning and night time when is waking up think this way at night time bye the time u change the kid then go get the formula and blah you just take out ur boobs and put it in the kid mouth so the kid will eat and goes back to sleep is up to u, is u the mother to the kid and nobody can tell u what to do but if you breastfeed the 1st 3 kids give a chance to this one as well however after this one the way other people say is time for protection of if you want another one just wait until they r older especially the new born wait until is 5 yrs old

  7. Profile photo of chrissy chrissy says:

    I have many friends who just weren’t comfortable with breastfeeding even after they asked me a bunch of questions since I have breastfeed 2 of my kiddos. I encouraged them to a least try it but if they decided in the end not to I didn’t disown them or berate them. They made the best choice for them and their babies. Their kids are just as healthy as mine. It should be the mothers choice. We as mothers need to stop judging one another so harshly and support one another. We are all mom’s in the trenches together!

  8. Profile photo of Christine Christine says:

    I am a 23 year old, first time mother of a 4 month old and am currently exclusively breastfeeding. I made the decision to breastfeed after learning about all of the benefits for me and baby. I am so fortunate to be able to be a stay-at-home mom with my little one while my husband goes to work which is , honestly, the only reason I have been able to continue to exclusively breastfeed. My little one went on a breastfeeding hiatus for almost two weeks when he was only a week old and during that i time i was only able to pump and feed him my milk through a bottle. When he finally would latch on again, it took a bit of a transition period between latching and drinking my milk through a bottle so i was able to get an idea as to how it would be when i returned to work (which i was planning on doing until the 3 month deadline came and we decided i would stay home). It was so time-consuming, frustrating and too much work to have to pump and feed him that I knew if i returned to work, i would end up giving some formula. Although breastfeeding for me was equally time-consuming, frustrating and a lot of work at first, with only a book (“the womanly art of breastfeeding”- i HIGHLY recommend to everyone!) as my support system, for me, it was well worth it. While I still would encourage every mother to breastfeed because I have been experiencing many of the wonderful benefits of it, I do completely understand why some women choose not to. For me, I see it as deciding between a veggie salad for dinner or a slice of pizza (maybe not those exact foods, but you get the idea). While breastfeeding (veggie salad) might be the healthier choice, you are still getting what you need from the formula. Me and all of my five siblings were exclusively formula-fed (my mom couldn’t breastfeed) and have all turned out as healthy as you could be and have never had any serious health issue or sickness. Every baby is different, every momma is different and you know whats best for you and your baby.

  9. Profile photo of Dawn Dawn says:

    Breastfeeding is hard work!! It’s stressful and time consuming.

    I had my first two children at 19 and 21. There was not breastfeeding support and none of my friends breastfed. When I had my children, I simply said I did not want to breastfeed. No one asked any questions. Fast forward several years. At 35 I had another child and at 37, I now have a fourth child (a 6 month old). I exclusively breastfed my third and I am currently nursing my fourth. Yet, I feel tempted to quit every day. Today, mothers receive a great deal of support. But, they also receive a great deal of pressure. It is as if mothers do not have the right to choose how to feed their baby today. Each time I consider quiting, I get a call from a breastfeeding consultant or make a visit to a doctor and told why that is not a viable option. Then I feel overwhelmed with guilt. I breastfeed because I am an educated woman, who wants my sweet child to get the best nutrition possible. But, I don’t enjoy breastfeeding and I am somewhat uncomfortable with it. Why do we put so much pressure on new mothers and try to make them feel so guilty for not breastfeeding.

  10. Profile photo of Heather Heather says:

    I had my first child when I was 35, almost 36, years old. I love her with all of my heart, but for me I did not want to breastfeed. I talked to my mom, watched several friends and relatives and I made my choice. I didn’t want to. I wanted to know how much my child was eating, I didn’t want to be crying from cracked boobs and I wanted my husband to get up with his child too. I feel like I bonded with my child just as much as any other mother. I know they say there are health benefits, but my daughter is almost 4 and has only been on antibiotics twice. Once was right after a wrll visit. We don’t live in a bubble and she went to preschool. It is a choice I made. I researched formulas took mine with me to the hospital along with bottles and pacifiers and didn’t look back. I was okay with my choice and was honestly never even persuaded to change my mind. You need to do what is right for you. I am in no way uneducated. I have a bachelor’s degree in biology and a master’s in education. I don’t feel like I was selfish. Selfish would be being talked into something that I didn’t want and being bitter, resentful and uptight. Babies can sense that…

    • Profile photo of Leah Leah says:

      Totally agree with everything you said. It is a womans choice to do what she needs to do. WE should be more worried kids getting juice or soda in their bottles, than we should be what kind of milk nutrition they are getting.

  11. Profile photo of Vikki Vikki says:

    I myself chose not to breastfeed simply cause I didn’t want to. Thank you for the article because no one ever talk about those like us. First, I will say this….I did atleast try it. My daughter did not latch in the hospital, with help from the LC, nurses and the nurse who came to my home. So i pumped for nearly two months. My supply dwindled and trying to keep up with the feeding schedule, being a new mom at 35, my boyfriend’s and mom’s schedule, depression, it was too much. So we started supplementing with formula and with my mama and boyfriend making bottles things was much easier. From talking to other moms and reading things, it seems they spend more time nursing and pumping than enjoying their baby. My daughter is now 8 months, healthy, growing, smart and formula fed!

  12. Profile photo of judy judy says:

    My husband didn’t want me to breastfeed and I gave in to him. Forty-one years later, I wish I had ignored him. I have had breast cancer and wonder if it would have prevented my diagnosis.

    • Profile photo of CM CM says:

      I’m sorry that you had breast cancer. I hope you are better now. I don’t know if breastfeeding would have prevented it because there are so many things that could contribute to cancer. It is a mystery. Just don’t feel regretful about things in the past. I wish you well.

  13. Profile photo of Karina Karina says:

    If it’s too much trouble for you to give your baby the best nutrition you possibly can maybe you should have not have another baby. After 3 you’d think you’d figure out where they come from and use protection if you so busy and tired and ect.
    I mean really this baby didn’t ask to be made … I don’t remember getting a post card saying ” I’m your future son can you get busy making ” was my choice and it’s now my duty to give my absolute best even if that means being tired or having laundry to do or work to finish and yes even if I neglect myself. Baby’s needs come first. Had a child so grow up, man up or woman up or whatever and do what you have to!
    Now I’m not talking of course about not being able to produce breast milk that’s a legitimate reason. Even with a hand full of supplements I had trouble after 8 months so there you really can’t do much 🙁

    • Profile photo of Jessica Jessica says:

      Wow Karina. Breastfeeding is a personal choice and there are many reasons people don’t breastfeed. It is up to each individual Mom to do what is right for them and their baby in their given situation. It’s really a shame that you just jumped on the snob-mom bandwagon and think it’s acceptable for you to judge other Moms. Is that really the role model you want to be for your children? I think not.

    • Profile photo of Kristy Kristy says:

      Wow, a mom neglecting herself would be a better choice?? Say what?? Actually moms need to make sure they are taking the best care of themselves and doing whatever they need to do to keep themselves physically and mentally healthy. A mother who stresses herself out beyond her limits is not good for her children. If a woman doesn’t want to breastfeed, who cares what her reasons are. As long as their babies are being fed then that’s all that mattered. Why do some women think that just because breastfeeding was the best choice for them then it should be the only choice for other mothers? I would never tell another mom how or what to feed her baby. For me, it would take a crazy person to think they have the right to dictate what a woman should or shouldn’t do. Women should never feel bullied into breastfeeding. Make your own decisions and who cares what anybody else thinks. It’s your body and you do what’s right for you.

    • Profile photo of Leah Leah says:

      I really think you’re missing the point. Or maybe you just didn’t read and comprehend the article correctly? Do you even have children? Are you even aware of how stressful it is? Or maybe you do have children and you have people do everything for you. Either way I don’t care, it’s the mother’s choice ultimately what she wants to do with her child. But you saying “you should have thought about that” NAHAHAHH. Shut up, quit being judgy and try to understand where other people are coming from, everyone is different and everyone struggles with motherhood. Do what’s best for your children and show a little compassion.

      And I am a breastfeeding mother. fortunately I can be compassionate and understand where people come from instead of borderline calling them a shitty mom.

      • Profile photo of Jeanette Jeanette says:

        Lol!!! My mother raised 13 of us, homeschooled us all and breastfed every one of us. And no we did not have servants or anything like that and I am not saying that everyone could’ve done that!

  14. Profile photo of Morgan Hart Morgan Hart says:

    I’ve read rough some of the comments, and honestly, there seems to be a common thread here. Your title implies not wanting to breastfeed “just because.” But in truth every comment I read, and in your article, I see many many good justifications. Not that one needs a justification when choosing what works best for their child or family, but I see several. Trying to parent older children, juggle work and home, wanting to bond with your child-all seem like valid reasons to choose formula. Personally, I wouldn’t have traded the bonding of breastfeeding for anything, but I know not every momma feels the same way. As a nurse, you are well aware of the pros of BF, as well as the concerns of ingredients in formula. As a nursing mom, you know what that experience has been like for you. As a mom of more than one kiddo, you understand having to make choices that are best for all of your kiddos, not just one. Seems like you have spent quite some time thinking about this one, which leaves me feeling sure that whatever choice you make-or combination of choices-will be best for this child, your family, and yourself. Best of luck:)

  15. Profile photo of Erica Erica says:

    I am currently breastfeeding my third child. I did not breastfeed the first two and they are healthy kids. I chose to breastfeed my third child because I decided to do everything as natural as possible (breastfeeding, cloth diapers, etc.) to save as much money as possible. It is a good thing that I am committed to breastfeeding because it is the hardest thing I have ever done! I do not make enough milk even after trying every tea, supplement, pumping schedule that I have heard of so my daughter has 1-2 bottles of formula each day. It bothered me so much at first because I felt like I was not good enough. Thankfully, I had a wonderful support team that helped me take things one day at a time. My daughter is now 6 months old and, while breastfeeding is still hard, we have our routine down. Plus, with introducing other foods, I get a little bit of a break. =) All in all, at the end of the day, women are fantastic people that take the world on their shoulders and do the best they can with what they have. There is enough stress in life without adding to it based on what other people think. Let it be your choice to breastfeed or not based on what works in your family.

  16. Profile photo of Charmaine Charmaine says:

    I didn’t bf my first and 18 years later didn’t bf my little beautiful boy. They are both healthy, smart and beautiful. I don’t understand why we have to give excuses. I had 2 c-sections and feel as much as a mother as everyone else. It’s a personal choice. Power to all the mother that are willing and able to bf but also to those who make a choice to do it differently.

  17. Profile photo of Shawna Shawna says:

    I too am a nurse as well as advocate for breastfeeding. I can sympathize and relate to you in this instance. I have other children and am still breastfeeding my 7 month old. I think if you are able, it is the best thing to do for your child because of the many benefits of breastfeeding not only for your child, but for you as well. On the other hand, I know there are some who are unable to breastfeed and others who just the thought of it grosses them out. Each situation is unique to the family, mother and baby. No one can make that decision for you as no one else is in your shoes every day.
    As I am currently breastfeeding and pumping (and have been for the last 7 months), I personally feel that it is easier to breastfeed at home than making bottles and washing them on a daily basis (bottles would just be another thing added to my already long list of things to do daily). The issue I have is that it is hard to find time at work to always pump, but I still find a way. I find a way because to me breastfeeding is important and a priority for me to do for my child because of the health benefits.
    I think it all comes down to priorities in your situation. What is more important in your eyes? Is it the clean house, work, spending time with the children, breastfeeding? Since you did find the time and energy to breastfeed the first three, I think your situation is unique. Most moms either strictly breastfeed from the beginning for a certain amount of time or bottle feed. Not many choose one route for some children, and switch their choice with another. From an outsiders point of view, when your children are older and asking about if you breastfeed them, I think the important question to ask is will this child feel less important or left out because all of his/her siblings were breastfed, but when it came to them I was too tired? Would that make the child feel less deserving or loved at an older age? That is a major point to consider.
    No one will judge you and honestly, who cares if they do. You have to do what you feel is best for your family. If breastfeeding is too much of a hassle and you feel bottles are easier, then do what works best for you!

  18. Profile photo of Ashley Ashley says:

    I had my first and only son 5 months ago. he was an emergency c-section and ended up in nicu for 25 days. The first 2 weeks i pumped until he was able to latch on. I continued doing so for three months but if truth be told I stopped because I got lazy. I do feel horrible about it but he is thriving. its really sad to say I stopped because I was lazy and like I said I beat myself up but I know there is no bad side effects because he is smart happy and healthy.I believe it should be every mother’s choice if she wants to breastfeed or formula feed and they should never be judged for it.

  19. Profile photo of Heather Heather says:

    Honestly I am a mother that chose to not breastfeed because I just didn’t want to. I have always been very uncomfortable with the idea and I don’t see any harm in not breastfeeding. My child who is 2 now is very smart and very healthy. My 8 week old is also doing great. I am not against it to other mothers, I don’t look down upon it its just something I would rather not do.

  20. Profile photo of Michelle Michelle says:

    My mother formula fed both myself and my twin brothers. We are all smart, healthy and well-adjusted adults who had no effects of not being breast fed. I have no desire and never have had a desire to breast feed. It’s just not for me and makes me more uncomfortable. I’ve always been a little body conscious and I feel it would increase that even more. I know the pros of breastfeeding, but I have also see how well formula fed children have done and see no reason why it can’t be your personal choice. As a teacher, I’ve actually seen more kids with allergies or health issues that were breastfed than formula fed. I don’t know if there is a connection but I’m going with what I know and feel is right for my family. I want my husband to be able to bond with our little girl and help out when he can.

  21. Profile photo of Jennifer Jennifer says:

    I have never had the desire to breast feed, like ever. I just couldn’t see my self doing it and still two kids later talking about baby three I have no desire to do it. I know all of the benefits of breast milk and if my child absolutely needed it I would give in but I have two very smart and healthy children who drank formula. Everyone always expects to hear some story when you say you’re not breastfeeding but I’ve always been the one to say it’s just not for me. I’m in no way against it I think it’s great, just not for me!

  22. Profile photo of KM KM says:

    With my first, I was told that a medication I take was incompatible with BFing, and that I had to get back on it right away (it’s not safe for pregnancy, either). So we started with formula in the hospital. Seven years later, we’re expecting again and my gastroenterologist asked if I was planning to BF. Since I didn’t think it was an option, as I’m going to be on the same meds, we’ve been planning to FF from the start again. It worked so well for our family last time, helping my husband bond with our son and giving me a break in the middle of the night, or when I needed to run errands without the baby, that I didn’t even question it this time. People say “breast is best” but that kind of blanket statement doesn’t always work. In our situation, breastmilk would poison our newborn.

  23. Profile photo of Jennifer Jennifer says:

    This is good to read. I tried to bf my kids and just didnt supply enough. With my first I also went back to work at 7 weeks. So I supplemented and switched over. With my second I wasn’t working and determined to only bf. However I didn’t have enough milk no matter what I did. So as I was supplementing, I was still bfing and pumping, it was very exhausting! It was hard emotionally and mentally too. So when I decided to finally stop around 3 months I was very relieved and my energy levels went up as well. We’ll see how things go with my third, who is due in September. We’re preparing to formula feed but will try bfing again, or even supplement. We’ll see if I stop right away or go longer… Only time will tell. It’s hard to not feel guilty tho at times, esp when my second had a super good latch and I loved that bonding time. But I’m not as worried anymore about the judgments as I am doing the best for my child. Like they say on a plane you need to put your oxygen mask on yourself before your kids.

  24. Profile photo of Jenn Jenn says:

    Nope. I tried with my first, and wound up going exclusively to formula after 3 months. It was torture. Second is due in August, and I don’t plan to try to bf at all. No apologies either.

  25. Profile photo of SMT0226 SMT0226 says:

    Thank you! I tried to breastfeed simply because SO MANY people were “attacking” and making me feel like a horrible person because I didn’t to. I never in my life had a desire to breastfeed even though I’ve always wanted to be a mom. The whole concept makes me uncomfortable, no matter how natural and healthy it may be. That being said, I TRIED. I resented every feeding, and I felt like a failure when my son lost weight. I felt like I was resenting HIM because I wasn’t enjoying the experience like so many other women. The hospital supplemented him with formula because he was losing weight rapidly and we discovered that I just wasn’t producing any milk. Some say it’s because I wasn’t “into the experience” and my own negativity caused my body not to produce. Whatever the reason, I counted it as a blessing because it got me out of my discomfort and let me mother my son the way I always wanted.

    • Profile photo of Jennifer Jennifer says:

      That’s crazy to say because you weren’t mentally wanting to you couldn’t produce any! I have heard tho for moms who pump it can help if they have a pic of baby. But why can’t people accept yoyr choice or body, why does there need to be a why? It’s called respect and loving the mama, not ridicule her.

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