It’s My Pregnancy and I’ll Cry if I Want To
I watched a woman fall flat on her face the other day. I was on the subway at a station three stops before my own, when a woman, most likely in her late sixties and armed with holiday shopping bags looped from shoulder to wrist, exited my subway car onto the bustling platform at Queens Plaza. From my seat on the train, I watched, in what seemed like slow motion, as she tripped and slammed her face directly into the concrete.
Normally preoccupied New Yorkers rushed to her aid, kneeling by her side, as she didn't move for what seemed like an eternity. At that moment, the doors to my subway car closed, and the train began pulling away from the station. I craned my neck to see the woman, and hoped to confirm she was okay. Just before she was totally out of sight, I saw her sit up.
I felt such relief. She didn’t appear to be busted and bloody, but regardless, I began to sob. Hard, unreasonable sobs. I wasn't exactly sure the reason, but I wasn’t terribly surprised by my reaction. Now that I’m pregnant, there isn’t much I don’t cry about these days.
And while these tears are an odd contrast to my pre-pregnancy days, I find them no more strange than the tears I cry when I catch the last 30 seconds of a sporting victory on TV involving teams I know and care nothing about. And no more strange than the sobbing I do for 20 minutes after “Parenthood” is over, or the tears that fall when I good natured couple from Oklahoma scores a lucrative deal on “Shark Tank”. I can cry when I feel the baby move. Or when I don’t. I can cry when I am overwhelmed with love for my husband. And just as easily, I can cry when he’s on my last…frickin’…nerve.
I’ve learned these tears don’t really mean anything. They are merely the byproduct of all the hormones surging through my system, and from what I hear, they won’t soon stop after the baby is born. My whole life I teased my mother for crying at the end of nearly every movie we ever saw, and little did I know, I was probably, at the very least, part of the cause.
This baby… makes me a baby.
And that, makes my husband itch.
Had you told me a year ago that I might one day cry in public, I’d have laughed in your face. Now, if you brought it up, I would burst into tears. Just because.
How has pregnancy taken over your emotions? Are you moodier than usual? Sappier than usual? Quicker to cry than ever before?
My answer to all of the above is YES.
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