One Mom Says Her Kids Are the Biggest Regret in Her Life
A mother, Isabella Dutton, has written a first person account of how she believes that how having her two children is the biggest regret of her life. Her son, Stuart, and daughter, Jo, were born out of duty to her husband. She says that she never wanted children because they would be parasites to her freedom. She openly stated that she hated the thought of motherhood, yet she had not one, but two planned children.
As I read the article, I found myself wanting to punch this woman in the throat. Yes, we all know that children are takers. They take our time, our energy, our sleep, our money, and even our youth. But what they give in return, if Isabella Dutton would have only stopped for one moment to consider them anything other than a parasite, is unconditional love and the opportunity to change the world – to be a part of the miracle of life.
My children turned my life upside down. My life is nothing like I had planned it to be. There are days when I want to quit. Motherhood is hard. It is hard work to raise a decent human being; to be constantly with this person and, worse, to always put their wants and needs before yours, but my children are my greatest purpose in this world. I love them so much that I can hardly breathe. The thought of anything bad every happening to them terrifies me. I would gladly give my life for theirs at any given moment.
I do not begrudge Isabella Dutton for wanting her peace and quiet but I think she is an awfully selfish person. She should have never had the children in the first place if her only reaction to them was to mother them with indifference – as if it were a jail sentence and she was a martyr for keeping them alive.
What is the purpose of writing this piece and telling the world that she never wanted her children, and how much better her life would have been without them? This is for her to pay a penance for the guilt she feels for being a horribly detached mother. She is not helping them by doing this. Of course, I guess she doesn’t care about this and never has.
This is like the cheating husband who tells his wife that he has cheated; it is to relieve him of guilt. It stands no purpose to tell her. It will never be beneficial for his wife to know. He should have never done it and if he did, then he should live with the guilt and spare his wife the pain. Isabella Dutton should have taken her dissatisfaction and unhappiness to her grave. I am sure her children felt her animosity and indifference towards them, growing up with a mother who was wishing them away. To rehash it by writing an article only serves to hurt them further and embarrass them as adults. Does she really dislike them so much as to punish them so?
She says she had the children out of duty and promise to her husband, and she did her best despite having no real connection to the children and even, at some points, wishing them away (i.e. strapping her 3-week old baby and her setter to a pole while she ran into a bakery, only to go home and forget the baby and the setter but only feel concerned that someone might take her dog).
The world would be a better place if this woman never had been allowed to have children. The damage that she has done to her son and daughter is unforgivable. No one is applauding her for being brutally honest because the entire thing is all about her, as it ever was and probably ever will be. She disgusts me as a human being. Thankfully, these children had a father who loved them unconditionally because their mother obviously did not.
The sad thing is that her daughter, now 31, was diagnosed with MS when she was 23 and now is bedridden and lives once again with her doting father and indifferent mother, who will be her caretakers for the rest of her life.
What are your thoughts on Isabella Dutton saying that having her children are the two biggest regrets of her life?
Image via Flickr / Rumple Teaser